Holiday Homies w/ Phil and Damon

[00:00:34] Speaker A: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome back to another episode of Papa Don't Preach. I am here with two of the most immature people I've ever had to sit in between in my whole life. Ladies and gentlemen, to my right, if you're listening, you can't see that Philip Berman returning. How you doing, Philly? [00:00:48] Speaker B: Happy to be here. Thank you, Obi. [00:00:50] Speaker A: I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're back. Did you bring any snacks this time? [00:00:53] Speaker B: I did. Of course you did. [00:00:55] Speaker A: And I'm cutting you off, man. God damn, this is going to be such a long episode. And over to my left, longtime friend, first time listener, Mr. Damon Rodriguez. Hello. [00:01:09] Speaker C: Hello. [00:01:10] Speaker A: Joining in the pod. How are you? [00:01:12] Speaker C: I'm good, my friend. I'm good. Long time coming. I know this took some time to get estas. Ah, bien bn. And that's about the extent of that. [00:01:21] Speaker A: Okay. [00:01:23] Speaker C: Got the last name, but don't got the language. [00:01:27] Speaker A: Well, ladies and gentlemen, here on the pod, we're going to be going into some of the things that helped us grow up as men. Talking about our childhood. Full disclosure, we are longtime friends. Some of us have new babies, some of them have old babies. But before we get there. [00:01:41] Speaker B: Yeah, you have an old baby. I don't know how you get an old baby, but. No, I get it. It's a seven year. Like, are we going Benjamin Button old? Like that type of old baby? [00:01:48] Speaker C: Oh, God, it's going to be a long. [00:01:50] Speaker A: It hurts so much. It hurts so much. [00:01:52] Speaker C: It's going to be a long one. [00:01:53] Speaker A: All right, so we've already heard a little bit about you, Philly. You have a seven year old, little Luke. Luke, yeah. [00:02:00] Speaker B: Seven and a half years old. [00:02:02] Speaker A: And he's still going strong. [00:02:04] Speaker B: Still going strong. It's been an interesting ride. Kids grow up fast, and you blink and they're seven and a half. So enjoy it while you have it. I mean, Damon, yours is two going on 40. [00:02:17] Speaker C: Yes. I have a daughter, a little girl. [00:02:21] Speaker A: How old is she? [00:02:22] Speaker C: She is going to be two in January. [00:02:24] Speaker A: Do you say the months thing? [00:02:26] Speaker C: I don't. [00:02:27] Speaker A: Is it because you can't count? [00:02:28] Speaker C: Well, that is a very large factor. However, I do not like to do that. Okay. Neither does my lady. She doesn't do that either. I mean, she sometimes does to certain people. [00:02:39] Speaker A: Well, I remember when I did, like, 20 months, I would say, like, oh, yeah, he's 20 months. He's almost two. And I realized how I didn't do that in front of black people. He's almost two. [00:02:50] Speaker C: Yeah. To me, that's what makes sense. Like, why am I going to sit there? But I don't know. [00:02:56] Speaker A: It makes sense internally because there's a difference between 14 months and 16 months. You can see that and develop me. Develop mentally? Yes. [00:03:05] Speaker C: You don't know what to speak either. I can't read. [00:03:08] Speaker A: I'm in the wrong job. [00:03:10] Speaker B: I don't know. The whole thing has been annoying to me. Like, what? Oh, this is Mitch. He's 418 months today. When do you stop? What's the line? I think it's terrible. [00:03:17] Speaker A: You don't like it? You're not a fan? [00:03:18] Speaker B: Not a fan. When Luke was between zero and six, I'd say he's half a year. He could be two months and be like, yeah, he's about a half a year. And then after that, from six to. [00:03:28] Speaker A: Twelve, he was, oh, he's a little. [00:03:29] Speaker B: Older than half a year. And then he was a year. It's been about a year. And then between, what, 18 months or whatever. A year and a half, yeah, he's a year. He's one years old. [00:03:37] Speaker C: I think we did the 18 months well. [00:03:41] Speaker A: There's like weird cut offs. 18 months. You can't swing your baby by the legs at 18 months or some shit like that. [00:03:48] Speaker B: They didn't say that. [00:03:49] Speaker C: Can't put her on the track field or whatever. [00:03:52] Speaker A: Can't hang out car window. 18 months. Can't zoom in the front seat. Can't drink alcohol. Fucking bureaucrats. Anyway. So, Damon, this is your first kid? [00:04:03] Speaker C: Yes, sir. [00:04:03] Speaker A: First kid. You happy with the girl? You could say it now. I am. [00:04:06] Speaker C: No, I'm going to tell you this to not get too deep, to not get too cliche. Obviously, you guys know me. We've known each other for years. Obviously, it was Damon Jr. I'm going to have a son. [00:04:20] Speaker A: Not too good to women, this guy. [00:04:21] Speaker C: Yeah, they wrote a few books about. Yes, as my wife knows, I was owed this little beautiful girl when I had McDick. Right in your face, giant dick. But having her to every guy before me who told me, like, hey, best views of advice was, this girl is going, you're going to be the first man she loves, so be the man that you want her to fall in love with one day. And honestly, it was very life changing for me. Again, as every man has said, holding her, she's my heart. I call her my heart. I love her from the moment I saw her. So for me, it definitely changed the way I look at life, the way I handle myself, the way I carry myself. Because she's just my everything. And she's finally the first girl, and I've told my wife this, the first girl in my life, finally. Where I'm going to do my damnedest to never break her heart, never lie to her and never hurt her. Not saying I won't, but I'm going to try my damn. [00:05:28] Speaker A: How often do you see your daughter? [00:05:36] Speaker C: Well, it's like being in a long distance relationship. I could be a great father half the time. [00:05:42] Speaker B: Fucking easy to say that when you're part time, you dick. [00:05:45] Speaker A: Well, what I wanted to segue into it that it is hard for you because of your job. Can you please tell us what you do? [00:05:51] Speaker C: I am a wildland firefighter. [00:05:54] Speaker A: You pull like cats out of trees. [00:05:57] Speaker C: No, but the difference I know a lot of people don't know. For everybody who's listening, you said wildland firefighter. So basically there's the municipal firefighters, which everybody knows. There's the red fire trucks. [00:06:10] Speaker A: Oh, I love those guys, man. Those dudes are so fucking brave. [00:06:14] Speaker B: I fill the bucket every time. Obes, when you're sitting there in the corner, give me money, give me money. Take a cashier's check. Here's my social id card. [00:06:22] Speaker A: Take it all those guys have such a hard job. Pulling babies out of boxes, sliding down. [00:06:27] Speaker B: Poles, rescuing cats from trees. [00:06:31] Speaker A: What do you do? [00:06:34] Speaker C: I do wildland. Yes. [00:06:36] Speaker A: So calendars and shit? [00:06:37] Speaker C: Calendars. Strictly calendars. I've lied for this whole time. I don't even know what I'm doing. [00:06:48] Speaker A: Think of it. [00:06:49] Speaker C: It's two different entities. I work for the United States Forest Service. They work for city departments. La, Ontario, Edwanda, all those different cities. [00:06:59] Speaker B: Eduardo. [00:07:00] Speaker C: Eduardo. What we do technically. What? My title is very douchey sounding, which to my wife, the very first time I talked to her, my title is a hotshot. [00:07:13] Speaker B: But you're not. [00:07:14] Speaker C: It's the weirdest thing. 100%. So imagine being at a bar and being, oh, what do you do? I do this. What do you do? I'm a hotshot. She. Therefore, if you know my wife seated. [00:07:24] Speaker B: Fuck. [00:07:25] Speaker A: She was like, I'm a hotshot. [00:07:26] Speaker C: What the fuck are you? What do you mean you're a hotshot? [00:07:28] Speaker A: I was like, you stick me in a needle. I kill some people. [00:07:32] Speaker C: I get high. [00:07:35] Speaker A: So the title is hotshot. [00:07:37] Speaker C: The title is hotshot. [00:07:38] Speaker A: Think about picking that fucking name. [00:07:40] Speaker B: I was going to say, that is a pretty radical title. [00:07:43] Speaker A: Radical. [00:07:43] Speaker B: Damn it. [00:07:44] Speaker A: Jesus. [00:07:45] Speaker C: Radicalizing the title. [00:07:49] Speaker A: Can you finish your tubular story, please? [00:07:52] Speaker C: Well, what it is, is we basically, we're a specialized unit to do a callback to you, the SVU, the special victims unit. [00:08:01] Speaker A: Big fans over here. [00:08:03] Speaker C: What we are is a 20 man specialized unit that is nationally, we're a national resource and international. So basically we can go anywhere from up to Canada, Puerto Rico, all around the US. We basically fight the wildfires that you see in. [00:08:20] Speaker A: When Canada's on fire. [00:08:22] Speaker C: When Canada's on fire, they give us a call, they mobilize us, and then we know our minimum tour of duty is. What it's called is we're gone for a minimum of two weeks. [00:08:31] Speaker B: Did you end up going on that big Canada fire? [00:08:33] Speaker C: I did. I did. And that's one of the amazing things that I've gotten to do in this. Know, being able to Canada. Well, no, seeing. I've been to Alaska. [00:08:45] Speaker B: Oh, shit. [00:08:46] Speaker C: That's cool. And these are the amazing things. Did some, you know, but again, it's like. It's cool to see, but they're not vacation spots. I don't get to go. You don't get to go to the nice. [00:08:57] Speaker A: It's like, oh, this place has been decimated by fire. Never thought I'd be in the Puerto Rico. [00:09:03] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:09:03] Speaker A: Did you go to Hawai? [00:09:05] Speaker C: No, we were very close to going. So with that, there's a rotation list and so you get to get mobilized when. Yeah, but, yeah. Being part of. I just recently, I don't know if you know, I think Philip knows. Not many people know. I have just changed. So I went from the big bear hotshots. I'm now part of the El Cariso Hotshots. [00:09:27] Speaker A: So what does that mean? [00:09:29] Speaker C: It's located in Lake Elsinore. It's another hotshot group. We'll call it, for lack of a better word, for the department. It's another a. [00:09:37] Speaker A: Is that just a different thing or. [00:09:39] Speaker C: Is it a promotion? I went as a promotion. I'm a squad. [00:09:45] Speaker A: Rodriguez. Rough fucking. [00:09:48] Speaker B: Taking orders from fucking. [00:09:51] Speaker C: It's wild. [00:09:52] Speaker B: Got to be wild. [00:09:53] Speaker A: It's so crazy just seeing you as a father and now a squad leader. I'm like, you have other people's lives in your. [00:10:01] Speaker C: And I'm going to tell you right now, it is fucking wild. It's like, holy shit. Because. [00:10:06] Speaker A: Can you share your alias? When we went to Vegas, what your alias was? [00:10:10] Speaker C: There was Rod Hardwood. [00:10:11] Speaker A: That was it. It was Rod Hardwood. [00:10:14] Speaker C: I was like, which one was it? Yeah, it was Rod Hardwood. [00:10:16] Speaker B: You have had talking about the alias thing. You have been so creative creating these alternate egos. And, dude, there was a point where you were selling. What were you selling on the phone. You were a telemarketer? What were you selling? [00:10:30] Speaker C: I was telemarketing. I was a general contractor. Licensed, bonded and insured. My name is Brad Sherwood. Because the people who I was working for were like, hey, let's not use know. They're not going to believe that you're this general contractor. So I changed my voice, as you would know. I put the white voice. [00:10:51] Speaker A: Yeah, you had a code switch. [00:10:52] Speaker C: I got was literally, I was just like, hey, I'm Brad Sherwood. How you doing? Bob? Do you remember I stopped by about a week ago? Do you possibly remember? [00:11:00] Speaker A: No worries. [00:11:01] Speaker C: I left a flyer. I'm general contractor, licensed, bonded and insured. Why don't you do me a favor? [00:11:07] Speaker A: Is that a golden retriever here in the back? [00:11:10] Speaker C: Let's take a look around your home. Is there anything you need? [00:11:12] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:11:13] Speaker C: I had it. Oh, Jesus Christ. I was Tom Brady, but not Tom Brady, because I was like. And then if it was a guy, I'd be like, oh, I'm Tom Brady. And they'd be like, oh, like, real. I'm like, get it all, the. [00:11:26] Speaker A: Money or his wife. [00:11:27] Speaker C: Am I right? [00:11:29] Speaker B: Dude, you. I gotta say, it's probably one of. [00:11:32] Speaker C: The most creative shit that you mean, so. Damn, it was tons of fun. [00:11:37] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of creativity that comes out of you, and for some reason, we all just gravitate to. We'll get to that a little bit later. But as we were saying, your job is a hot shot. It's fantastic. You're a squad leader now. [00:11:50] Speaker C: Yes. Thank you. [00:11:50] Speaker A: You do have a daughter. Do you plan on having any other kids? [00:11:55] Speaker C: Yes. Time isn't exactly on our side, as we were talking off camera about. So for us, we are trying. We could do the practicing. [00:12:03] Speaker A: Okay. [00:12:04] Speaker C: But we're actively. [00:12:05] Speaker A: Good for you. [00:12:07] Speaker C: Actively practicing. Actively trying. [00:12:10] Speaker B: How often are you practicing? Friday? [00:12:12] Speaker C: That is none of your fucking business. Thank you for asking. [00:12:16] Speaker A: Do you want me to get you a jacket? It says perv on it. You want to name talk about something. [00:12:21] Speaker B: It's about practice, right? Fine. Go on. [00:12:25] Speaker A: I can hear him breathing behind me, and I just don't like it. [00:12:29] Speaker C: Anyway. [00:12:32] Speaker A: Tell me how much you practice. [00:12:36] Speaker B: Just inquiring minds want to know, what. [00:12:38] Speaker C: Are you going to do? Anywho, yeah, we would like another, but, yeah, if I just have Alexis, I would be more than happy because she's amazing. [00:12:49] Speaker A: I thought you were talking about a car. [00:12:52] Speaker C: Alexis. That's fun. [00:12:54] Speaker A: He's still a good rapper. Can you please tell us why your daughter's name? Alexis. [00:12:58] Speaker C: So my daughter's name, her full name is Alexis Grace Rodriguez Rodriguez. Always my last name. Her first name is an homage to my brother who's Alex, and my father who's Alex. So Alexis, her middle name is another ode to my wife's grandparents. They both had grace in their names and the one grandmother who my wife was very close with was also Grace. But yeah, that's the name that we gave her. And I love the name. I love her. And it is unfortunate to go to your, before we started this whole rabbit hole being gone for weeks at a time, man because I'm minimally gone for two weeks minimum. But then you got to add travel. Then you got to add how long our tour of duty is. [00:13:48] Speaker A: That's only the minimum. Sometimes you're there for a month. [00:13:51] Speaker C: I could be gone for absolutely a month. I've been gone for a month in Alaska. I was gone for almost a month in Canada I was definitely gone for a month. And just even just going up north or down wherever we're going, it's again two days travel. So I'm gone for like 1718 days, more like it. And it's insane. I know. Everybody's like, oh, like you were saying, philip. In a blink of an eye, it'll go by fast. For me, dude, it's a blink of an eye. Like, I literally left my daughter not being able to sit and she was like this good old squiggly neck bitch. You better fucking fix that by the time I get back, okay? I need that shit fucking fixed. I leave doing my bitch. I come back and she's like, oh, shit. But in reality I'm like, and she couldn't crawl. And I'm like, babe, make sure that's dialed in. Fix that shit. I want her crawling. Come back. She's crawling. I'm like, oh, my God. But again, it's like I told my wife, she'll send me pictures. She'll send me videos. Oh, my God, she's doing this. She's doing that. I'm so proud and yet I'm so sad because I'm not there. You know what I mean? Like, to not be there and watch. [00:15:02] Speaker A: My daughter grow up being an absentee father is hard. [00:15:06] Speaker C: Okay, well, you're hurtful and you're an asshole, but that's the fact of the matter is not being there sucks. So my wife is one thing, me being gone. I've been doing this for 1011 years. I've been with her eight years. [00:15:20] Speaker A: Seven. [00:15:20] Speaker C: Eight years. [00:15:23] Speaker A: Get that number right. [00:15:26] Speaker C: Carry the one. [00:15:28] Speaker A: It's not really a forgetting issue. [00:15:29] Speaker B: It's a math issues. [00:15:31] Speaker A: Chris, cut them some slack. [00:15:32] Speaker C: Thank you. As we've discussed in the beginning, math. Not my strong student. [00:15:38] Speaker A: Anybody who knows we've been together 23 years. What? [00:15:43] Speaker C: Yeah. She can handle it. You know what I mean? Me being gone. [00:15:47] Speaker A: She loves it. [00:15:49] Speaker C: And as my closest friends, like, you guys know, when I'm gone, I'm glad it is what it is. So it's like people who know me, who know me doing it, gone. My daughter, she's like, where the fuck is this asshole at? [00:15:59] Speaker A: She'll get used to it. We did. [00:16:01] Speaker B: Yeah, real quick separate group chat. [00:16:05] Speaker C: And for me, that's the amazing part. When I am with her, now that I've been home a lot, she's with daddy. She's doing everything with me. [00:16:13] Speaker A: Where is she now? Where is she? [00:16:19] Speaker C: But, yes, it's hard. It's a hard balancing act. It's a hard thing. I've watched many people's marriage fall apart. I've watched many. But I'm hoping I'm doing it differently, because in my mother's words, it's all about the quality time I spent with her. [00:16:34] Speaker A: I mean, you're a lovable idiot. I think the fact that most people who are around you tend to like you. [00:16:41] Speaker C: I appreciate that. [00:16:42] Speaker A: It wasn't a compliment. [00:16:43] Speaker C: No, it is. Again, I. Selective hearing. I just heard lovable. [00:16:49] Speaker A: No, but that is true. I can't really say I relate. I do know during the pandemic, I didn't see my kid for seven months. He was just gone. I saw him twice. [00:16:59] Speaker C: Sorry. [00:16:59] Speaker A: In seven and a half to eight months. Saw him twice. And those times I did see him. To see that development, when you're gone, it's a trip. And like you said, you're so happy, and then you go into this weird depression of, like, you're never getting that time back. [00:17:15] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:17:16] Speaker A: And I'll tell you, like, you'll get over it. [00:17:20] Speaker B: It's one of the reasons why I left the restaurant industry, because I was working till 203:00 in the morning. [00:17:24] Speaker C: Sure, dude. [00:17:25] Speaker B: He'd go to school the next day, and then I'd have to go back to the restaurant at three or 04:00. [00:17:30] Speaker C: Right. [00:17:30] Speaker B: So I would never see him the whole week. So I had to leave that shit. I just felt like I was. [00:17:35] Speaker C: And it's hard. I love watching the pictures you have of your son. The picture of you taking your kid to school. [00:17:41] Speaker A: You dressed as Thor, like that amazing fat Thor. [00:17:44] Speaker C: To me, it's like, those are things. And in the world I live in with the many people who've done the job, it's like, they're like, oh, man, it's okay. I've missed my daughter's fucking last 18th birthday, and I'm like, oh, does your daughter fucking hate you? I don't want that relationship. I don't need that. It was hard enough to get my daughter, so it's like, now I have her. [00:18:07] Speaker A: I think as long as you trick your daughter into thinking that you're a hero and you're doing good things, she'll be very proud of you. But just to touch on that before we go on, if you're comfortable, you did mention how hard it was to get your daughter. That's a lot of things. That's something that, at least from the male perspective, people don't talk about. And as a family, it's very, very rough. [00:18:29] Speaker C: Yeah, and I've been authorized. [00:18:31] Speaker A: You've been authorized. [00:18:32] Speaker C: I spoke to my manager. I spoke to my manager. Yeah, we had some issues. We had a couple of losses before we had my daughter, as you guys know. And it was a hard time. It was a very hard time. And again, as you were saying, I can only speak from a male perspective of, I didn't carry those two. I didn't feel everything. But for my lady, for my wife, I empathize as best I could. And I think us holding together strong through those two losses was amazing for our marriage because we didn't turn on each other. I'm not saying you should, but I know some people fall apart after that. You know what I mean? They either blame one or the other. So for me, we just came close together. We're like, all right, hey, maybe luckily I fell back on religion. She fell back as well. Maybe just something wasn't right. Something would have been bad. Something would have happened when we had my daughter. That's why I look at things a lot differently with my daughter. I guess she didn't ask to be brought in, you know what I mean? So she's not this nuisance to me where I'm like, oh, my God, if she's hitting me in the face, waking me up, you know what I mean? [00:19:48] Speaker A: I'm like, why do kids do that shit? [00:19:50] Speaker C: I don't know. [00:19:50] Speaker B: Every day it doesn't stop. Luke is seven and a half, and he wakes me up the same way. [00:19:54] Speaker C: And it's. To me, it's weird. You guys know? I hate the morning, but it's the best part of my day, is like, she'll like, and she does it, and then she rips the sheet off my face, and she's like, morning. I'm like, hey, but like, yeah, best. [00:20:09] Speaker A: Part of your day. Yeah. You haven't been around that kid enough. [00:20:11] Speaker C: Well, see, here's the thing. It's so funny to what? To you saying that. And maybe I haven't. Maybe I haven't. And I could be super naive to it. And me and Kristen talk about it all the time. We're like, I'm not there yet. We're like, I get it. Some people, like, one of her best friends, like, oh, her kid was being all disrespectful. And she's like. And he walks away. He's like, look at this asshole. Can you see this asshole? And I'm just like, why don't you fucking slap the fuck out of that kid? He's being disrespectful for. And you're allowing this shit to happen. So it's like, maybe we're not there. And, like, one of my other friends, he's like, dude, wait till she's 13. She gives you your first I hate you, dad. Or, oh, my God, dad. I'm like, maybe that'll happen. But until then, I'm enjoying every little tude she throws. [00:20:55] Speaker A: Every little. [00:20:55] Speaker C: I'm like, oh, my God, you're hilarious. It's funny to me. I don't know. Again, like how everybody's like, oh, my kids this, my kids that. I look at it as. That's a reflect. And I'm not dogging on anybody at all. I'm a rookie at this. Believe me, I know. But to me, I look at it like how I look at with my guys, if they're fucking up, it's a reflection of the leadership. So I'm like, oh, if your kid's a fucking asshole, that's a reflection of you, then what are you doing wrong? Like, well, your kid's a dick now to a certain extent. Again, if you have a 1314 year old, he's got outside things. He's got all kinds of shit. But if it's like, four or five years old and your kid's, like a dick, it's like, what are you doing then? Because you need to be involved. Doing. I don't know. But again, the naivete. [00:21:34] Speaker A: I know your parents, they are great people, right? I knew how big of an asshole you were. [00:21:41] Speaker C: It's so funny because I had a conversation with my dad about that, where it was a coming to everything moment for my dad when I was, like, 23, I think I was bringing it Friday still, and then I had it again after a kid. But I was like, obviously you guys know the trials and tribulations I have. My father. We are very close now, after we had the conversation, because I was like, without him doing the shit he did, I don't think I'd be where I'm at in the career that I'm at because it's perfect for what I do. You got to be built different to do this shit. And it's like, I also realized that doing the academy, the very first time I did this, it was insane, people motherfucking you and whatever. And obviously my dad was king of motherfucking. You know what I mean? [00:22:37] Speaker B: Easily. [00:22:42] Speaker C: Motherfucker. And it's like, what was he supposed to do when I'm like, hey, fuck you, fatty. Or, hey, fuck you, dad? Like, hey, you're grounded. [00:22:52] Speaker A: Cool, man. [00:22:53] Speaker C: Fucking ground me. What the fuck else are you going to. [00:22:54] Speaker A: You know what I mean? [00:22:55] Speaker C: You got to beat the fuck out of a motherfucker. [00:22:57] Speaker A: Yeah, my mom laid down the law. My mom and I was. The thing is, like, sometimes, because you went through this, we've talked about it on the pod with some of my other ethnic guests. [00:23:14] Speaker B: Totally, I get it. [00:23:15] Speaker A: I'm not trying to single you out. [00:23:16] Speaker B: No, totally. I get it. Yeah. White people. [00:23:19] Speaker C: People who can differentiate. Colored people. [00:23:22] Speaker A: He said colored time. He said a color one time. [00:23:25] Speaker B: And don't forget, peach is a color. It's a color. [00:23:28] Speaker A: It's not a color. [00:23:30] Speaker B: You get it out of the crayon box. It's a color. [00:23:34] Speaker A: Why do you say crayon box? [00:23:35] Speaker C: Continue. [00:23:35] Speaker B: Crayon box. What else do you call it? [00:23:37] Speaker C: Crayon. [00:23:38] Speaker B: What did I say? [00:23:39] Speaker A: Crayon. [00:23:39] Speaker C: Crayon. What the fuck, bro? You grew up in the valley where. [00:23:43] Speaker B: You get a crayon? [00:23:46] Speaker A: Say that again. [00:23:46] Speaker C: Say it again. [00:23:47] Speaker B: If I need to get a crayon to color with. [00:23:49] Speaker C: Okay, what do you mean? Crayon? [00:23:52] Speaker B: A crayon. [00:23:53] Speaker A: You call it a crayon? It's a crayon. [00:23:55] Speaker B: How long is that fucking word? How many o's are in crayon? It's crayon. [00:23:59] Speaker C: Okay, wait. [00:24:00] Speaker A: So you can say I just mocked him? [00:24:03] Speaker B: Crayon? Nobody says crayon. It's crayon. [00:24:07] Speaker A: Moving on. Hold on. For real, though, are you cool with me? [00:24:12] Speaker B: Crayon. [00:24:13] Speaker C: Wait a minute. [00:24:13] Speaker B: Wait a minute. [00:24:14] Speaker A: Don't ask him. Yeah, this motherfucker can't say field. Don't ask him. Ask him to say whale. I want to say whale. Say blue whale. Say blue whale. [00:24:25] Speaker C: Wait, can you not say whale? [00:24:26] Speaker A: Say blue whale. We're all waiting for it. Say blue whale. [00:24:32] Speaker B: Now you're quiet. [00:24:33] Speaker C: Wait a minute. [00:24:34] Speaker B: Wait, here it is. [00:24:35] Speaker A: Here it comes. Blue whale. There it is. Say fucking crayon. [00:24:40] Speaker B: Crayon. [00:24:41] Speaker C: Okay, right now you're grab a blue. [00:24:43] Speaker B: Crayon out of the Crayon box. [00:24:44] Speaker C: You're fucking cool whipping us right now. [00:24:46] Speaker A: I'm not cool. Whipping. Whipping. [00:24:49] Speaker C: Because you fucking said crayon. [00:24:51] Speaker B: I mocked him. I could say the word crayon. [00:24:54] Speaker A: Can you say cranberry? [00:24:56] Speaker B: Cranberry. [00:24:56] Speaker A: Thought he was going to say crayon berry. I will fucking Google it right now. [00:25:02] Speaker B: For the correct phonetic term of it. [00:25:03] Speaker A: Go ahead. You're wrong. Crayon. Yeah, there it is. [00:25:07] Speaker B: I know that's what you guys are saying. [00:25:09] Speaker A: No, that's what every. He says, you guys. That's what the world says. It's Crayon. [00:25:13] Speaker B: Say crayon. Crayon. Wait, what? No, she said it right? [00:25:17] Speaker A: What did she say? [00:25:21] Speaker C: The camera got you. [00:25:22] Speaker A: We came, Shannon, but the look on your face knows that you just figured out you said it wrong. I'm done with this. I'm done with this. [00:25:31] Speaker C: We're going to look at the jungle, Sean, later on. Anyway. [00:25:33] Speaker A: This is actually a perfect place to take a break because I'm very stressed out. [00:25:36] Speaker C: I am very much. [00:25:37] Speaker A: We're going to take a quick. We're going to take a quick break and we're going to be back with more propa. Don't preach. And hopefully not Phil. [00:25:42] Speaker C: Propa. [00:25:44] Speaker A: Don't be. I swear to God, I'm going to have a fucking aneurysm. Tills like yesterday we were recording this thing. [00:26:08] Speaker C: It's been 48 hours. [00:26:11] Speaker A: There's a lot we had to cut out. A lot of homophobic and racist stuff with. [00:26:21] Speaker B: There you go. [00:26:25] Speaker A: You want clickbait? We'll give it clickbait. [00:26:28] Speaker C: Told you. Invite me on this. [00:26:29] Speaker A: Well, anyway, I'm glad to have you guys back here with Christmas right around the corner, you being new here, by you, I mean, Damon Rodriguez, I want to find out some of the holiday traditions you're going to be implementing or hanging on to. So first off, what are some traditions you grew up with that you can't wait to share with your child? [00:26:53] Speaker C: A couple of traditions. So for Christmas, I love that. What I want to bring forward is basically we spend the day opening gifts. Like, we all wake up early in the morning. We're talking like 05:00 a.m. Early because we would always rush down to go see what we got. We wake up my brother, wake up my parents, and be like, everybody get up. [00:27:16] Speaker A: Everybody get up. [00:27:16] Speaker C: Because we couldn't wait. We couldn't wait. The one time of the year, as you guys know, I love sleeping. I was all about that shit. I was ready to go, okay. So we woke up. My dad's like, what the fuck do you want? Like, why are you. So we go down there, open the gifts, then go right back to sleep. [00:27:31] Speaker A: Oh, so that is. [00:27:34] Speaker B: You go, presents and then back to bed. [00:27:37] Speaker C: Not like, go back to sleep, but. [00:27:38] Speaker A: Like, I open up a Nintendo 64. You cannot stop this heart from being. [00:27:43] Speaker C: But that was like, in later age, I guess we'll say. But still pretty young. But we wouldn't go back to sleep. Sleep. I'd go lay down. My mom would start making breakfast and like. [00:27:51] Speaker B: But I'd go, that's a very Alex Rodriguez thing. [00:28:00] Speaker C: But, like, it's funny. [00:28:01] Speaker A: We were. [00:28:07] Speaker C: Just like, fuck. [00:28:08] Speaker A: Don't believe the shit that keeps us still awake in the morning. David, shut the fucker. Go back to bed. [00:28:15] Speaker C: I mean, yes, you were in the house. [00:28:19] Speaker A: We've all spent time there. [00:28:21] Speaker C: We all spent time at that house. But. Yeah, I liked that. But it's funny because my wife, her family does this thing, and I'm glad I get to talk about this babe. They do this wild thing. It's not wild, I guess. [00:28:33] Speaker A: Why'd you say babe? Pointing to Phil. [00:28:35] Speaker B: Yeah, point the camera. [00:28:36] Speaker C: But you're my babe too. [00:28:37] Speaker A: That's all Phil over there, either way. [00:28:40] Speaker B: Fuck are you talking, honey? [00:28:43] Speaker C: They sit around and they open up gifts, and everybody watches as they open up the gift. [00:28:48] Speaker A: That's awkward. [00:28:49] Speaker C: And again, I might get in trouble. [00:28:51] Speaker A: When she hears that I forget that she's white. Yeah, okay, because she looks Mexican. I'm sorry your wife looks mexican. But sometimes she does this shit. [00:29:00] Speaker C: I'm like, oh, yeah, your wife is 100%. And that's like, on our honeymoon, she now has a last name, Rodriguez. So it's like they're speaking Spanish to her in Cabo. And she's like, she'll literally then be like, fucking a. Because of this fucking last name I have now. People are speaking Spanish to me. I'm like, well, bitch, you're Mexican now. [00:29:22] Speaker A: Really? Well, you can just marry into my. [00:29:27] Speaker C: Pockets, you know what I mean? [00:29:29] Speaker A: My whole life. [00:29:30] Speaker C: And, I mean, going to this new crew, they're like, oh, you married a Mexican. I'm like, nah, she's white. She's a white girl. [00:29:35] Speaker A: She looks fucking mexican. [00:29:36] Speaker B: She does. [00:29:37] Speaker C: And that's what it doesn't help that, obviously. Now, my daughter, you have so many pictures. She looks. [00:29:40] Speaker A: Oh, my God. For those of you at home, we're not going to post the pictures, obviously, but I haven't seen Damon's daughter since she couldn't keep her weebly wobble. And so I just saw this good old looseneck Rodriguez over there. But, yeah, I just saw this picture of it. I was just generally surprised. I thought this girl was, like, running across the border, like, literally this little baby. She looks so mexican. [00:30:06] Speaker C: 100%, man. You got strong genes, man. That's what I said, too. Me and Kristen will make that joke. We called the gene the sperm. Victor. She's like, victor just went up in that egg. [00:30:19] Speaker A: First of all, you're mispronouncing beat Thor. He's Betty. Betty Beak Thor. [00:30:28] Speaker C: And he's like, victor must destroy you. [00:30:34] Speaker A: Looking at David's sperm in the fucking microscope. It's like my rock mustache. [00:30:42] Speaker C: I fucking swear, dude. That's what we talk about. [00:30:44] Speaker A: You know, they always say, like, what's that sound you make when you bust a load? You bust another vinegar strokes? [00:30:50] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:30:51] Speaker A: David's like. [00:30:58] Speaker C: Yeah. So that's. So that does no favors, because now our daughter. So my wife refuses to dye her hair like she used to. She'd put, like, blonde streaks. She's like, well, now I'm definitely not going to look like my daughter. She's like, if I dye my hair blonde, there's no way that. [00:31:12] Speaker B: You mean she's not going to shave her eyebrows and draw them. [00:31:19] Speaker A: I want to see, like, one of those pictures of you and Kristen with the little heart taken at the mall. The glamour shot. Oh, my God, the lip liner. I don't know why. [00:31:36] Speaker C: You fucking racist. [00:31:38] Speaker A: Wait a minute. [00:31:38] Speaker B: Yeah, fuck that. [00:31:40] Speaker C: Everything was fine until you put the twang on. [00:31:44] Speaker B: Everything he said was great until it was lip liner. [00:31:46] Speaker A: Okay, that's my bad. I'm sorry. [00:31:48] Speaker B: This cramp. [00:31:50] Speaker A: Racism coming from. Phil don't fucking point. [00:31:53] Speaker C: Seeping from his pores. That and meat juice. [00:31:57] Speaker A: That's the cold cut. It's the meat cold cut. Can you get racism or something? [00:32:01] Speaker C: Fuck, you mean like lettuce? Anyways, those are those traditions, either opening presents. [00:32:11] Speaker A: I'm sorry, that was me. So you were saying that you have a mexican wife? [00:32:16] Speaker C: I love fucking wife. You know what I mean? Anyways, those are traditions. Those are the traditions may or may not carry. We've discussed that. She went by long. Because my family, we just fucking open shit up. We just fucking get there. We're like animals, and I get it. You want to see the joy and kids faces? [00:32:31] Speaker B: We're savages. [00:32:33] Speaker C: Savages. [00:32:33] Speaker A: Tasmanian devils. [00:32:34] Speaker C: Tasmanian beanie devils. Okay, yeah. We just tear apart and we do that. She wants to do her way. We're going to figure it out. [00:32:41] Speaker B: Does she save wrapping paper? Does she open in a way that she would save the wrapping paper or her family? Does her mom look and say, this is a great pen? [00:32:48] Speaker A: He's testing your whiteness. Don't answer any of that. [00:32:51] Speaker C: Answer that. [00:32:53] Speaker A: Look at that. Trying to bring you over to the dark side right there. [00:32:57] Speaker B: We'll talk later about gift bags. [00:33:00] Speaker C: We'll see where it goes. [00:33:01] Speaker A: How much tinsel do you use? [00:33:03] Speaker C: Oh, my. [00:33:05] Speaker B: Goes, never enough. All right. [00:33:06] Speaker A: How about you, Phil? I know that we found out last episode you're half jew. [00:33:13] Speaker B: Big fan of book one. [00:33:14] Speaker A: He's a Gino. A jew in name only. [00:33:18] Speaker C: Wow. Gino. [00:33:20] Speaker A: Is that not nice? I fucked that up. [00:33:22] Speaker B: I've never heard Gino. [00:33:24] Speaker C: I've never heard of Gino, but I like it. [00:33:26] Speaker A: How should I pronounce it? Should I drop the jino? [00:33:30] Speaker B: Some of our traditions. [00:33:32] Speaker C: Some of our traditions. [00:33:34] Speaker B: Fucking a. No. God, this is the fattest. So we celebrate a lot around food. Right? [00:33:45] Speaker A: Obviously. I'm going to need a minute. [00:33:47] Speaker B: Obviously. It was 05:00 a.m. 06:00 a.m. Wake up, go downstairs, tear up the fucking fucking present. It was great. That was bringing everybody together, all that shit. But the big part was the dinners, those days, the feasts that were around. So it was whether it was my mom cooking or my pops cooking, whatever it was, there was always a lot of food. And so it was less about the presents per se. It was more about just getting everybody together to do the dinners and stuff. So that's what I'm looking forward to the most. This year. We're going to be in for a big treat. [00:34:19] Speaker A: So, wait, do you guys. Do you do both Christmas and Hanukah? [00:34:22] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:34:22] Speaker A: So Hanukkah ends when? Now? [00:34:24] Speaker B: Hanukkah ended last week. [00:34:25] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:34:26] Speaker A: Okay, so Hanukkah is over, and now you got the Christmas part. [00:34:29] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:34:29] Speaker C: I have a question. [00:34:30] Speaker A: Did you have Christmas and Hanukah growing up as a kid? [00:34:32] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [00:34:33] Speaker A: Okay. [00:34:33] Speaker B: Yeah. So growing up, I was baptized, I don't know, six, five, seven years or whatever. [00:34:38] Speaker A: In a church? [00:34:39] Speaker B: Yeah, in a church. [00:34:40] Speaker C: Actually, Father Mac, I have a question about. Yeah, Father Mac, I've got many discussions about. [00:34:47] Speaker B: Did Father Mac wedge you? Was he the priest? [00:34:50] Speaker C: No, it was at St. Bernardin. He was the same. I believe he was part of the same father. [00:34:56] Speaker B: Anyways, I was baptized five, six years old, whatever it was. My dad says that was the first time I got an ear infection and blamed the priest. [00:35:03] Speaker A: Sounds like. [00:35:14] Speaker B: So, yeah, baptized and then went to Hebrew school. And you're going to find the soundtrack. [00:35:21] Speaker A: Gnarly. [00:35:22] Speaker C: This is amazing. [00:35:27] Speaker A: So Phil has been, like, dreading me, like, following up anything he says with the sound bite. Fucking hurtful. Fucking hurtful. Don't worry, I won't do that. Yeah, I won't do that. That's mean. [00:35:41] Speaker B: Fucking felt like it was mean. [00:35:43] Speaker A: The sad trombone. [00:35:45] Speaker C: Sad trombone. [00:35:46] Speaker A: Go ahead. [00:35:47] Speaker B: So, yeah, baptized and then I ended up going to hebrew school. I was bar mitzvah at 13, obviously. And then after it's coming down after hebrew school, I went to catholic high school. So just kind of a mixture of everything. [00:36:03] Speaker A: Mixture of everything. [00:36:04] Speaker B: Confused as fuck. So there you go. What was that? [00:36:07] Speaker A: Never touched. [00:36:08] Speaker B: Never touched by, like, the hand of. [00:36:10] Speaker A: God or a pedophile in the cloth. [00:36:12] Speaker B: It went a little bit different there. Holy shit. [00:36:15] Speaker A: I don't know what that means. [00:36:16] Speaker B: I don't know either. [00:36:18] Speaker A: You do touch in catholic school. [00:36:21] Speaker B: Oh, was I touched in catholic high school? No, I was not Jesus. No. [00:36:25] Speaker A: No. We've already gone through this, like, how prevalent it was. For some reason, they took one look at us, they're like, and don't forget. [00:36:34] Speaker B: That dick went to a catholic high school his first year, too. [00:36:36] Speaker C: Wait a minute, wait a minute. First ball. You were too excited. [00:36:43] Speaker B: You were too excited when the priests touched you. [00:36:45] Speaker A: That's why you were asked to leave. [00:36:47] Speaker C: Asked to leave. [00:36:48] Speaker B: They said, you're not supposed to enjoy this. [00:36:51] Speaker A: Damon's, like, calling, setting up parties. [00:36:55] Speaker C: You guys want to come to my place? A couple of cupcakes? [00:37:04] Speaker A: Got some holy water in the garage. [00:37:07] Speaker B: No, it was. Yeah. Lot of education. It was a lot of fun, a lot of experiences. Learned a lot. It was great to kind of gather all the stories from both sides and kind of make my own decision as I grew up. Sounds like you did. And I kind of made the decision early on that I knew that when we were going to have kids, I'd raise them the opposite of whatever my partner was. So Amber is christian, and so, you know, well, I'm going to raise in the jewish faith because I thought it was great to educate Luke on both sides of the equation there. [00:37:40] Speaker A: Okay. [00:37:40] Speaker B: So that's why we've done this. [00:37:42] Speaker A: All right. And so you said that they're going to be in for a treat this year for Christmas. [00:37:45] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:37:46] Speaker C: What's that? [00:37:46] Speaker A: What's that? [00:37:47] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm not cooking this Christmas. [00:37:49] Speaker A: Are you doing the Boston market? I'm sorry. [00:37:55] Speaker B: It was whole foods, you fucks. [00:37:57] Speaker A: Sorry. [00:37:58] Speaker C: Right? [00:37:58] Speaker B: Nobody does Boston market. Thank you. It's whole Foods. Okay. [00:38:01] Speaker C: Remember Kenny? [00:38:02] Speaker A: How'd you say Boston just now? [00:38:03] Speaker B: Boston. Shut the fuck up. [00:38:05] Speaker A: I'm just. [00:38:06] Speaker B: Boston market. [00:38:06] Speaker C: Okay. [00:38:07] Speaker A: I thought you said Bastin market. [00:38:09] Speaker B: I didn't say Bastin market. [00:38:10] Speaker A: Are you a co op for the people. Are you a co op? Are you a co op? Okay, that's my bad. [00:38:16] Speaker B: I started it. [00:38:18] Speaker A: It's like howling around a bunch of dogs. Jesus Christ. [00:38:20] Speaker C: For the people listening, Philip is wearing a Harvard sweater. So he's not from Boston at. [00:38:27] Speaker B: But, um, so this year we're going to do Giordano's pizzas from Chicago. I got a bunch of those flown in. We're going to do a large seafood and a pasta salad. [00:38:35] Speaker C: When. [00:38:35] Speaker B: Does this taste really good? Supposed to be a surprise. What? [00:38:38] Speaker C: Was this supposed to be a surprise? [00:38:39] Speaker B: Well, my son is seven and doesn't listen to our podcast. [00:38:44] Speaker C: Okay. [00:38:45] Speaker A: Don't be a dick. [00:38:46] Speaker C: Okay. [00:38:50] Speaker A: Are you wearing a hotshots hat? [00:38:53] Speaker C: I'm wearing my cruise hat. [00:38:55] Speaker A: Okay. [00:38:57] Speaker C: Are you wearing a beanie? [00:38:59] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't look. I wouldn't wear merch from my job. It's kind of weird. [00:39:03] Speaker C: Merch? [00:39:03] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:39:04] Speaker C: Am I selling it to you? [00:39:06] Speaker A: No. Did you buy it? [00:39:09] Speaker C: No. You earn this? [00:39:11] Speaker B: $10 says I go on eBay and buy that fucking hat. [00:39:13] Speaker C: $10 says there's only two ways, Davis. [00:39:18] Speaker A: I do right now. His phone goes off. Can I just get. Hold on. [00:39:22] Speaker B: I pick it up directly. [00:39:23] Speaker A: You're not going to sleep merch, though. [00:39:25] Speaker C: If you guys are interested, we're selling things. There's only two ways to earn these things. [00:39:30] Speaker B: So, yeah. No, it's not a podcast. [00:39:32] Speaker C: Be one or have one or fuck one. And this guy's by. No. Is fucking a lot of dudes. [00:39:37] Speaker A: Yep. [00:39:43] Speaker B: All right, cool. This segment was brought to you by Jason Momoa's water smooth animal. [00:39:47] Speaker A: What's up with this? Whiskey, but. All right, so you guys, we have this mash and mallow whiskey here. Is it Mash and Mallow? [00:39:54] Speaker B: Mash and mallow? Yeah, it's mash and Mallow. [00:39:56] Speaker A: So mash and Mallow. And you're a whiskey connoisseur? [00:40:01] Speaker B: I enjoy partaking in some. [00:40:03] Speaker A: This is from rabbit Hole? [00:40:05] Speaker B: Yeah, rabbit hole. Delicious rabbit hole up there in Kentucky. [00:40:09] Speaker A: Rabbit hole in Kentucky. We're going to give this a little taste. This is their s'mores whiskey. [00:40:14] Speaker C: Here you go. [00:40:15] Speaker B: Cheers. [00:40:15] Speaker A: Boo, boop, boop, boop. You guys can do an air. [00:40:22] Speaker B: My eye. Look into my eyes. [00:40:24] Speaker A: Ooh, it smells like a little Grammy. Like a graham cracker. [00:40:27] Speaker C: Oh, yeah. Was I supposed to smell it? [00:40:32] Speaker A: That is motherfucking tasty. Hey, that is delicious. [00:40:37] Speaker B: That is outstanding. [00:40:40] Speaker A: That makes me want to do a little bit like this. [00:40:41] Speaker B: Oh, this will drop my panties for sure. [00:40:44] Speaker A: Yeah, man, that's good stuff. That's some good stuff. That makes it tingle. I'm going to get another bottle of that. [00:40:50] Speaker B: That is a campfire. Just. I am warm, cozy. That's fucking delicious. [00:40:56] Speaker A: That is. On the rocks. No notes, nothing. Hell, yeah. [00:41:00] Speaker B: Holy fuck. I can get black the fuck out on this shit because I wouldn't know what I drank, dude. I'd be out. Okay, sorry, Blaine. [00:41:09] Speaker A: You're good. [00:41:10] Speaker B: You can edit that out. Black the fuck out. Sorry, dude. [00:41:13] Speaker C: No, put that in. Black the fuck out. [00:41:15] Speaker A: Yeah, don't acknowledge him. Just let him do it. He talks sometimes. He's just a producer. He's here. [00:41:22] Speaker C: You're fantastic. I want you to know, BP. You're fantastic. [00:41:25] Speaker A: You're doing a great job. You call it a BP? Look at you calling him BP. Act like you're part of this. [00:41:34] Speaker B: Literally 38 minutes. [00:41:35] Speaker C: He was just a professional at a BP. I know. [00:41:40] Speaker A: BP. [00:41:41] Speaker C: Is this BP guy? Is he his best fucking friend? [00:41:44] Speaker B: BP dude? [00:41:44] Speaker C: Oh, no. I met him a day ago. Okay, so you're just acting like you fucking. [00:41:49] Speaker B: Actually, Blaine was one of the first guys that I met in television. [00:41:52] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, that's true. [00:41:54] Speaker B: Yeah, Blaine and I were partnered up a few times. I learned a lot of the ropes from him because Obi was too big and fucking ran around and did other bigger things, and I was partnered up with Blaine. [00:42:03] Speaker A: Look at me now. [00:42:05] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:42:08] Speaker C: I think what you got going on here, Obi, is very cool. Give you a compliment, and thank you for having me on here. [00:42:15] Speaker A: I appreciate that. [00:42:16] Speaker C: This is actually, again, to tell you on camera, to anyone listening. [00:42:21] Speaker A: This is very cool. Thank you. I appreciate that. I appreciate that. Before we move on, I do want to find out something we were talking about offline, our favorite not so Christmas movies. [00:42:33] Speaker B: Yes. [00:42:33] Speaker A: Some of the Christmas movies that you wouldn't find traditionally. Some people are like, oh, I love the Santa Claus. What's that? The miracle on. [00:42:41] Speaker B: Is it 34th? [00:42:43] Speaker C: No idea. What 49 you were talking about last time? [00:42:45] Speaker A: Never heard of the Santa Claus. Santa Claus, 1985. [00:42:48] Speaker C: Never heard of it. [00:42:49] Speaker A: Yeah, I told you. Like, I ran a fucking. I thought it was crazy. Nobody heard about it. Shannon was with me. We went to work. We ran a poll on, like, 70 people. [00:42:59] Speaker C: Wow. [00:42:59] Speaker A: One person has heard of it, and another person, I thought just we had two, but I think another person just felt bad for me. [00:43:05] Speaker C: That's wild. [00:43:06] Speaker B: That's funny. [00:43:08] Speaker A: But anyway, I digress. Not so Christmas movie. Do you have a Christmas movie that you got to watch during the holidays? Because I know that I have a few. I have a few that, you know, Gremlins is one of them, and I always had to pay for it. Oh, this is the Santa Claus movie, by the way. I'm not sure if you guys ever seen it or the trailer. [00:43:33] Speaker B: Never seen it. [00:43:34] Speaker A: It's so well done, and it looks like such a huge budget. Not. It's not like some fucking b movie. [00:43:43] Speaker C: So who is the main. [00:43:45] Speaker A: John Lithgow is the bad guy, which. [00:43:47] Speaker B: Is a famous actor. [00:43:48] Speaker A: I'm surprised that the guy who played Moore. Dudley Moore. Yeah, he's patches. I don't know who played the kids. [00:43:56] Speaker B: Only one patches of. [00:43:58] Speaker A: Only one patches of know. [00:44:01] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:44:02] Speaker A: So, yeah, Mrs. Claus, look at. [00:44:04] Speaker C: I've never heard or seen this movie in my entire life. [00:44:07] Speaker A: Yeah, this is. [00:44:08] Speaker C: What in the actual fuck is going on? [00:44:10] Speaker B: This looks like a tough Scrooge movie. Like, it wanted to be Scrooge, but it's not. [00:44:15] Speaker A: I'm telling you. I'm telling you the plot. [00:44:19] Speaker C: Moore looks like Mr. Bean. [00:44:20] Speaker A: I can't believe how many times I've had to explain this fucking movie on this podcast. But, yeah, the plot is an old guy gets stuck in the fucking snow. A bunch of elves find him and turn him into Santa Claus, and then he delivers presents. He ends up giving this main elf, who's just so know he's kind of like the flick in a bug's life. He's always thinking outside of the box, pushing the envelope, and everybody's like, calm the fuck down. So he's like, you know what? I'm too big for this north Pole. I'm going to go to the city, and they'll have my ideas. Meanwhile, there's this tramp kid, like, this piece of shit, poor kid, the street kid, who's, like, sneaking around the city. This fucking. That fucking latchy kid you see waving his fucking newsy hat. [00:45:05] Speaker C: Well, you got to have that. [00:45:07] Speaker A: He's sneaking around, and, like, a girl who's rich or more affluent is, like, feeding her him through, like, the doggy drive. I don't even remember how she fits into this fucking story. But basically sad. Yeah, basically, these two end up crossing. [00:45:25] Speaker C: Paths with my entire life. [00:45:27] Speaker A: Patches. And they're like, hey, you should go back to the North Pole. This guy, John Lifgow, who's the bad guy? He just wants to use you for the money. And he's like, no, he's not. He's a nice guy. And then John Liftgow, turns out he just needs him for the money and doesn't care about the kids. And he invents this floating candy that he gives the reindeer. That's how they're able to fly. It's such a wild ride for somebody. [00:45:49] Speaker B: You sell this movie? [00:45:51] Speaker A: It's a great movie. [00:45:52] Speaker B: I watched it every Christmas, 15 years, never fucking heard of it. [00:45:56] Speaker A: Never. [00:45:56] Speaker B: I didn't say it was good. [00:45:57] Speaker A: I'm just saying I watched it for 15 motherfucking years. Anyway. [00:46:00] Speaker C: Yeah, Philip, there's so many people that. [00:46:04] Speaker A: Listen to this podcast like this motherfucker in this fucking movie again. [00:46:08] Speaker B: So a not so Christmas movie that I watch every year, which I didn't realize it until this year was varsity blues. [00:46:13] Speaker A: Really? [00:46:14] Speaker C: Yeah. Fuck yeah. [00:46:15] Speaker B: And the thing, I don't know why. [00:46:16] Speaker A: I gave it a tan. [00:46:16] Speaker C: I know, but it has nothing to do with Christmas. [00:46:20] Speaker B: I barely watch football now because I'm a dad and I don't have time on Sundays anymore, and I fucking watch this movie every year. You got something to say? [00:46:30] Speaker A: You got something to say about him not watching football? How the cowboys fucking doing? Yeah, how the cowboys fucking doing? [00:46:35] Speaker C: Pretty fucking. [00:46:36] Speaker A: Anyways. Anyways, yeah. That's the position that they've always been in. Watch them shit the bed next week. [00:46:42] Speaker B: Anyways. Anyway, I would say it's varsity blues every year that I watch, and I don't realize it, but I watch it usually between Thanksgiving and Christmas, and it's just something I've done, but this year, something that I've added, and Damon knows this. I know I'm not into horror movies, right? Or yes, horror, no. So. [00:47:03] Speaker C: I have a daughter. [00:47:07] Speaker B: This is the first. [00:47:08] Speaker A: You've had a daughter for less than two years. Shut the fuck up. How dare you? [00:47:13] Speaker B: This year for the first time, I watched a horror movie, horse, and it's classified as a horror. It's the Krampus movie, one that just came out like three or four years ago. [00:47:23] Speaker A: The one that came out in 2016. [00:47:24] Speaker B: Yeah, 2019, I think. [00:47:26] Speaker C: Yeah. Anyway, fucking, have you guys. [00:47:31] Speaker B: Have you guys seen it? [00:47:32] Speaker A: I've seen Krampus. That's the one where they're trapped in the house and Krampus comes through. Yeah, it's great. I thought 2015, see? [00:47:39] Speaker C: Thank you, 2015 for fuck calling him on 2000. [00:47:45] Speaker A: He said it came out a couple of years ago. That movie is old as Fuck. [00:47:47] Speaker B: What you're missing is in 2019, it went to Netflix. It's a whole thing. That's what I saw. [00:47:52] Speaker A: 2015. I remember when I saw it. I remember what house I was living in. I was like, this kind of sucks. [00:47:57] Speaker C: Google or Wikipedia has really dampened the mood on being able to bullshit anything. [00:48:03] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:48:05] Speaker C: Because again, we whisked right through 2016. Yeah. We didn't have fucking BP or this fucking thing right here looking that you're full of shit in 2015. Wild. It happens all the time. [00:48:15] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:48:15] Speaker C: People just Google real quick, what was that? What year did that come out? [00:48:21] Speaker A: If you come out and you talk about the year of a movie, you get a one year swing in each direction. That's the fucking rule. If you say a movie came out in 2008 and it came out, are. [00:48:33] Speaker C: You involved in the industry? [00:48:34] Speaker A: No. [00:48:35] Speaker B: You're a fucking liar. [00:48:37] Speaker A: Wikipedia. [00:48:40] Speaker C: I think my shit's online, so therefore, you should know. [00:48:45] Speaker A: I should know every single movie that. [00:48:46] Speaker C: Came out with the confidence that you speak with. [00:48:49] Speaker A: That's why I'm telling. That's what. Don't fucking. What are you doing? What are you doing? Obi's IMDb. [00:48:56] Speaker B: Oh, my. [00:48:56] Speaker A: I did not even make this shit. [00:48:58] Speaker C: Obi has. If you didn't make it, then who did? [00:49:01] Speaker B: I did, because it's done by a person. [00:49:04] Speaker A: I did work on the spy next door with Jackie Chan. I was in the editing room. [00:49:08] Speaker C: Okay, so that's going to bring something up to me right now. Still, Cap, that's cap. [00:49:13] Speaker A: That was a game show I worked on. [00:49:15] Speaker C: That's fine. How do you feel about that phrase? [00:49:18] Speaker A: That's cap. [00:49:19] Speaker B: How do I feel about it? [00:49:21] Speaker C: That fucking meaning that it's going to get me going. I'm going to save that for later, but that gets me going. I can't fucking stand that. [00:49:30] Speaker B: Like, no cap. [00:49:31] Speaker C: Like, no cap. [00:49:32] Speaker B: That means, like, no lie, right? [00:49:33] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:49:33] Speaker B: Why did cap become the word lie? [00:49:36] Speaker C: Exactly. [00:49:36] Speaker B: Why did. [00:49:37] Speaker C: Capping back in the day was like, oh, you just got capped on, like, you just got made fun of. Like, you just got hit, right? Like, that horse shooting. And all of a sudden, I got these 22, 23 year old dudes on the crew, and they're like, I'll ask cap bro. I'm like, what the fuck do you mean that? Remember the saying, why do you say, that's cap, bud? [00:49:52] Speaker B: Remember saying, bust a cap in your ass? [00:49:54] Speaker C: That's another thing. [00:49:55] Speaker B: That's another thing, right? Bust a cap in your ass. [00:49:57] Speaker C: I get it. That slang is an ever evolving thing. Like, groovy. [00:50:01] Speaker B: Can we google how cap became cap. [00:50:03] Speaker C: Yeah, I'm sorry if I'm just dumbass. [00:50:07] Speaker B: Gen A or fucking z or whatever the fuck, decided to make the new slang, which. Fuck it. I get it. Every generation makes a new slang. [00:50:15] Speaker C: I get that. [00:50:16] Speaker B: No, you're absolutely right. I think the terminology. I just learned what fucking Riz was. [00:50:19] Speaker A: How is Riz need to be charisma? Charisma? [00:50:23] Speaker B: Why? [00:50:23] Speaker A: Because it's shortened. That one makes sense. [00:50:25] Speaker B: Why do you need to shorten charisma? [00:50:27] Speaker A: Joe? We come from a generation that shortened every fucking charisma. [00:50:33] Speaker B: No, listen. No, listen. Charisma has already been shortened from charismatic. Okay, so we've shortened an already shortened word. [00:50:42] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay. [00:50:44] Speaker C: Fuck. [00:50:44] Speaker A: What the fuck? [00:50:46] Speaker B: Why? [00:50:46] Speaker C: Because it's faster to say, man, you. [00:50:48] Speaker A: Got to move quick. [00:50:48] Speaker C: Here's my thing. [00:50:50] Speaker B: You fucking vomit. [00:50:52] Speaker C: Just gamed me up right now on your podcast. Right fucking now. Right here. That charisma, Riz. That's what it's for. [00:51:01] Speaker B: You just do it. You just found out. [00:51:03] Speaker C: Just found out, right? [00:51:04] Speaker A: Yeah, it's fucking done. [00:51:05] Speaker C: No, now I'm like, all right, well, now I hated it, and now this dickhead over here just enlightened me. [00:51:11] Speaker B: Now you're on that side. [00:51:12] Speaker C: I'm not on that side. I'm not on that side. [00:51:14] Speaker B: No. [00:51:14] Speaker C: Remember dope? [00:51:15] Speaker A: Yeah, I remember dope. [00:51:16] Speaker B: Remember when your dad thought he invented tight? Was it tight? [00:51:19] Speaker C: No. Remember when we were just coming up with words? [00:51:23] Speaker A: Well, listen, if you're asking me how I feel about that's cap, I don't really care. Because if you guys have seen the way, like, back when we were kids, words would stick around a lot longer. Like, that's cap is going to go away. Just like a lot of shit does go away. It comes and it goes. There's shit that we used in 2020 that's not here anymore. [00:51:44] Speaker C: What do we use in 2020? [00:51:45] Speaker A: I don't know. I can't think of an example. [00:51:47] Speaker B: Fat testicle. So fat testicle. [00:51:51] Speaker A: But yeah, there's a lot of stuff that comes and it goes. Like, I get. You remember when bling Bling was added into the dictionary? Imagine going to a store and be like, hey, you got that bling. Somebody would slap the shit out. That went away. [00:52:06] Speaker C: Obviously, you only fucking live. [00:52:07] Speaker A: But I remember Shannon was here. She didn't know where. Shannon, you get fucking two lives, you know, going, ham. [00:52:13] Speaker B: Like, oh, yeah, hard as a motherfucker. Ham. But that makes sense to me. [00:52:17] Speaker C: But no one use it fucking makes. [00:52:19] Speaker B: H-A-M. Hard as a mother. Hard as motherfucker. Yeah. Okay. [00:52:23] Speaker C: You know, 22 Jump street wifi. [00:52:26] Speaker B: Wefy? [00:52:27] Speaker A: Was it Wefy? [00:52:29] Speaker C: Fuck. What was the other one? [00:52:31] Speaker A: Is gamail all right? Anyway. [00:52:35] Speaker C: Yes. [00:52:36] Speaker A: So yours is varsity blues. What is your not so Christmas movie? [00:52:40] Speaker C: Not so Christmas movie. [00:52:41] Speaker A: Not so Christmas movie because we all agree that just friends is a Christmas movie that we all. Yeah. [00:52:47] Speaker B: Okay, good. [00:52:50] Speaker A: Don't sing it. We don't have the rights. Wood. [00:52:53] Speaker C: I can't get you in trouble with that not so Christmas movie. [00:52:57] Speaker A: Not so Christmas movie. [00:52:58] Speaker C: Enjoy watching, like, around the holidays? [00:53:00] Speaker A: Yeah, because I know your dad's, like, a big rocky fan. Father's Day is just all the Rockies. Do you want to kill Sylvester Stallone for? Keep making new ones. [00:53:10] Speaker C: I'm just shocked, like, good Lord. Then you got Creed. This dickhead made a trilogy of Creed, so that's got to get. [00:53:17] Speaker A: They should have stopped at Creed one. [00:53:20] Speaker C: I like Creed two, though. I really liked Creed two because I did, like, the whole thing of bringing Victor Drago. Like, I thought that was cool as fuck. I did. I know a lot of people are like, well, you fucking can't think of anything original. Of course he's going to now fight. What's part three? Is he going to fight fucking what's his name? Mr. T's son, clubber Lang. Like, and I get it. But, yeah, I like. [00:53:41] Speaker A: But, yeah, number three was okay. But that's what happens when. Sometimes this is going to sound mean, but I like three, but it's also bad because that's what happens when you give, like, a kid creative with you. That's what happens when you give a kid, like, the fight scene where at the end of the movie where the crowd goes away and it's just them. [00:54:04] Speaker C: I hated it. [00:54:05] Speaker A: And it's just them boxing. It's like, for me, it was just two on the nose, but even though it was shot very well, because you could see once you saw them fight, and you're like, this motherfucker watches too much anime. He's, like, punching him in the stomach. All the sweat pops off his back. He does this quick. He's looking at the hand, and I'm like, all right, this is not about them as kids. I know, but this is going to sound dumb, but he's going to get the fuck. What they were leaning at is actually what they should have shot, where when it goes into the ring, it should have transformed from John the majors and what's that guy's name? Is it John? What's it, Jason? [00:54:50] Speaker C: I don't know, but I'm about to. [00:54:51] Speaker A: Smack the shit out of you, Michael B. Jordan. What's the other guy's name? Yeah, Jonathan Majors. I swear to God, we can't. [00:55:05] Speaker C: Well, because we went on a tangent again. Bottom line is, yes, I think part three, I didn't like part three, my Christmas movie that I prefer to watch Christmas, I got to think of. [00:55:16] Speaker B: Mine is also city slickers, too. [00:55:17] Speaker C: That's a good one, too. [00:55:18] Speaker B: Not city slickers two, but city slickers also. City slickers two was fucking dog shit. [00:55:24] Speaker C: Fuck, man. [00:55:25] Speaker B: Honestly, I still watch. [00:55:26] Speaker C: I couldn't tell you a Christmas movie that I watched during the holidays. [00:55:30] Speaker A: You know what we started doing, Shannon and I started doing last year, which just turned into know once a month thing is that we would watch all the Miyazaki movies on, like, you know, my spirited away, my neighbor totoro. What is anime? It's a japanese animated. [00:55:48] Speaker C: Are you into anime? [00:55:49] Speaker A: I don't know if I'm into anime. I think you are. [00:55:52] Speaker B: You went on a pretty long tangent about. What was that movie show on Netflix you told me to watch? [00:55:57] Speaker A: Blue diamond. Yeah, the blue eyed samurai. But is that anime? Is it? But see, that's the thing, is that people are kind of like, getting away with what is anime and what isn't anime. It's a specific animation. It's a. Caratar's last airbender is not. [00:56:18] Speaker C: Oh, no shit. [00:56:19] Speaker A: Anime. It's not anime. It's one of my favorite fucking. And it's like, googles that when Shannon and I first started dating. It's anime. I'm like, it's not anime. And she's like, okay, easy. I'm like, I'm not losing my shit. I'm just telling you it's not anime. And so she googles it and goes, last Airbender is not anime. And I'm like, yeah, that's going to happen a lot in this relationship. [00:56:41] Speaker C: You know what? Vegas vacation. [00:56:45] Speaker A: Vegas vacation. [00:56:51] Speaker C: And I don't watch it all the time, but if it's on, like, it really is a good movie. [00:56:54] Speaker B: It's great. [00:56:55] Speaker C: It's an awesome movie. It's got everything. Like, they lose everything. The dad, it's fucking hilarious to me that he's trying to get even. [00:57:03] Speaker A: Isn't Bruno Mars in that movie? What? [00:57:06] Speaker B: Are you fucking. [00:57:09] Speaker C: Yeah. Are you fucking with me? [00:57:10] Speaker A: Right. [00:57:10] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Did you fuck up too just now? [00:57:12] Speaker A: No, I think it might be. Did you say something cage movie? [00:57:16] Speaker B: Are you saying something slightly racist right now, obi? [00:57:18] Speaker A: No. Because there's a movie about Vegas where Bruno Mars is like a three year old Elvis impersonator. [00:57:25] Speaker B: What the fuck with the Korean. No, Korean Elvis. [00:57:28] Speaker A: That's not honeymoon in Vegas. That's what it was. No, I wasn't like, miss. I didn't think that some little, like, half black, half little filipino man walked through. It was like, oh, that's Bruno Mars. [00:57:40] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:57:41] Speaker A: I have no idea his ethnicity, by the way. I just look at him, I'm like, yeah, half black, half Filipino. That sticks. [00:57:49] Speaker B: Sarah Jessica Parker was in that movie. Damon, 1992. [00:57:52] Speaker C: That's not Sarah Jessica Parker. [00:57:53] Speaker B: Yeah, 1992. Damon. [00:57:54] Speaker A: Hey, do you find Sarah Jessica Parker attractive? Damon Rodriguez, he's talking to you. [00:58:03] Speaker C: I find hocus pocus Sarah Jessica Parker very attractive. [00:58:07] Speaker B: Because she's kind of trashy. Because you like that kind of trashy. [00:58:10] Speaker A: Is that what it is? [00:58:11] Speaker B: I'm sorry, what? [00:58:12] Speaker C: Yeah, you heard me. [00:58:12] Speaker B: I didn't hear you. Remember? Bad hearing. [00:58:15] Speaker C: Is that the arby's cutting your hearing off. [00:58:18] Speaker A: So if you guys haven't noticed, when you're at home, when Damon feels cornered, he calls you fat. [00:58:24] Speaker C: That's all I've got. We all have wells. So their well is. Oh, Damon can't read my well for both of these overweight guys, are them being overweight? We have. [00:58:37] Speaker A: I don't think mine is that you can't read. I don't think I could talk about yours on this podcast. [00:58:43] Speaker C: Just know we have plenty of wells of growing up with people. It's a gift and a curse. [00:58:49] Speaker A: I have no idea how you had a daughter. I thought your dick would have fallen off, like, ten years ago. [00:58:52] Speaker B: Well, this is the first one that he knows about everybody else, my friend. [00:58:58] Speaker C: Really? Shocking. Very shocking. [00:59:01] Speaker A: Yeah, they got, like, chlamydia. They just found chlamydia in the deep sea ocean for the first time. Like, how to get down here. I'm like, Damon's been diving, scuba diving again. Didn't we tell you to stay out of that area? [00:59:11] Speaker B: It's a rip area reef, man, that's protected. Or was there fucking protected area? That's a park. [00:59:15] Speaker C: Or is there two of the three people that we've been friends with? Yeah. [00:59:20] Speaker A: Anyway, guys, we're going to be taking a break at the same time, so we'll be back with a Kit Kat taste and Papa's pulpit. This has been papa breach. We'll be right back. [00:59:35] Speaker C: God. [00:59:37] Speaker A: All right, you guys are not allowed on the pod at the. All right. [01:00:00] Speaker C: Okay. [01:00:01] Speaker A: Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for sticking around for one of the wildest podcasts I've had in a very long time. I've lost control. [01:00:08] Speaker C: I've lost control. If people are still listening. [01:00:11] Speaker A: I've lost control. It's my bad. Nobody's listening at this point. It's fine. [01:00:15] Speaker C: There's no way you can say all. [01:00:16] Speaker A: The racist shit you want. [01:00:17] Speaker C: I'm going to tell you right now, if somebody was jogging to this podcast, it's gone. [01:00:22] Speaker B: I don't think that's our market. [01:00:23] Speaker A: Well, as you guys know, this is the end of our pod. If you made it this far. Thank you so much. If I haven't said it before, I really appreciate you, Damon, stopping by. Really, Philip, it's always a pleasure having you. Thank you, my friend. You guys have done it. You've reached the end of our pod. This part where we have our emotions on our sleeves, almost on our hearts, out in the open. [01:00:45] Speaker C: That's me. [01:00:46] Speaker A: Yes. [01:00:47] Speaker C: All day. [01:00:48] Speaker A: This is papa's. This is a part where we talk. We talk shit. Things that are irking us, things that are rubbing us the wrong way. Things that we just want to talk about and get off our chest. Damon, you're a guest here. We can have you go first. What do you want to talk about? What's on your mind? [01:01:10] Speaker C: Man, I'm so scared. [01:01:14] Speaker B: Well, obviously, is there a bleep? [01:01:15] Speaker C: But the goal is to not get canceled and not get fired. So, again, low bar, but high stakes. You know what I'm talking about? Real high stakes here. No, I don't think I have anything really, other than actually, you know what's funny is I thought about one because I was listening. I do listen to your podcast over. And I was listening to. I forgot what episode maybe it was Phillips episode, but it sparked something in me. [01:01:44] Speaker B: Zaddy's episode. [01:01:47] Speaker C: Don't try to be your mother, because I'm you. [01:02:02] Speaker A: Okay. All right. [01:02:03] Speaker B: Tune in for technical broadcast. [01:02:05] Speaker A: Okay. Can you tone it down a little bit? [01:02:08] Speaker B: Yes. [01:02:08] Speaker C: Sorry about that. I get very passionate about talk about dogs. You know what I mean? I get very passionate. [01:02:15] Speaker A: All right, so what's on your mind? What's hurting you? [01:02:18] Speaker C: Yeah, I think it was your DJ friends episode. [01:02:23] Speaker B: Yes. [01:02:24] Speaker C: And I think I kind of talked to you a second about it a couple of days ago. The separating the art from the person. [01:02:31] Speaker A: The art from the artist. [01:02:32] Speaker C: I hate when people do it. That really does grind my gears, because it's like one has literally nothing to do with the other. If you can do that, in my mind, it's like, again, so the example I use, Michael Vick, and I don't know if you know this, actually, Obi, to not bum the podcast out again. Keep it going, man. I recently lost. [01:02:53] Speaker A: For all. For those of you guys don't know, Oso is a british bulldog. [01:02:57] Speaker C: No, he was a red nose pit. [01:03:00] Speaker A: Red nose pit? I didn't realize he was a red nose pit while he was raping me. Every time I showed up, he was a raper. That dog would hump the hell. Aggressively hump you. [01:03:11] Speaker C: It was a different time. [01:03:12] Speaker A: It was a different time. [01:03:13] Speaker C: Different time. [01:03:14] Speaker B: I didn't know that. [01:03:14] Speaker C: I'm sorry, again, to not veer too far. Yeah, I'm not a real. As you guys know, if you follow me on social media, I'm not a social media poster. [01:03:23] Speaker A: Oh, really? [01:03:23] Speaker C: I don't post a lot of shit. [01:03:24] Speaker B: You're not a social media poster? [01:03:25] Speaker C: Yeah, whatever it is, whatever the use they're talking about, I don't post much, so. Yeah, not a lot of people really, actually know that. I recently lost. He's my best friend, so I lost him. But. [01:03:37] Speaker A: Loser. [01:03:37] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:03:38] Speaker A: Right in front of your two best friends. I hate both of you very much. [01:03:41] Speaker C: He was very loyal to me. Have you ever passed out on the grass outside of the house with me? [01:03:45] Speaker A: Yes. And Amber was pregnant. Amber was pregnant. And you and I fucking did that. [01:03:51] Speaker C: Dude, that's a d in my b. In your b. Dude, go ahead and reverse. [01:03:57] Speaker B: Shout out to reverse. [01:04:00] Speaker C: Anyways, yeah, I had a pit bull. [01:04:03] Speaker A: I'm sorry for your loss, by the way. [01:04:04] Speaker C: Yeah, thank you, my friend. But it didn't make me hate Michael Vick. I wasn't like, how I fucking hate you, blah, blah. It's like, no. Like, I'm not. I don't give a. You were. Whatever. That's what you were raising. I guess. He was in Georgia, and that's what he did. I get. I don't fucking know. Nor do I really give a baker's. But, like, he was a fucking gangster ass quarterback. [01:04:25] Speaker A: What if you raped kids? [01:04:27] Speaker C: Why are you even doing that? [01:04:28] Speaker A: Some people call that an art. [01:04:29] Speaker B: What if he was. What if he was. [01:04:31] Speaker C: That was fucking. Wow. You want wow. [01:04:35] Speaker A: Sorry. Sorry. You were saying? [01:04:37] Speaker C: Actually, you know, it's really funny. I did use this example because, again, I listened to your podcast and talked about it with kristen. I was like, yeah, Michael Jackson, again, don't give a fuck. Yeah, he touched diddle, did a bunch of dudes. Bill Cosby, still a very funny comedian. [01:04:47] Speaker B: Makes me laugh a lot. [01:04:48] Speaker C: Like, you know what I mean? I'm just saying. [01:04:51] Speaker B: Oh, Bill Cosby. [01:04:52] Speaker A: Come on. [01:04:53] Speaker C: See Cosby, his stand up is outstanding. And I told her this. [01:04:57] Speaker A: I guess it was just all the. [01:04:58] Speaker B: Raping, but again, we separate the art from the artist. [01:05:03] Speaker C: Favorite artist is Justin Timberlake. She loves Justin Timberlake. So when I was telling her about the Michael Vick thing, she was like, oh, but he did this, he did that. I was like, I don't give a shit. He changed the game, like, to be quarterbacks. And he was left handed. So I was like, I'm left handed. [01:05:17] Speaker B: We had that connection. [01:05:19] Speaker C: We knew each other on a deep, sensual level. [01:05:22] Speaker B: Michael Vick, Miguel Vasquez. It makes sense. [01:05:25] Speaker A: Our thumbs are on the same side. [01:05:28] Speaker C: You don't know. He hates using forks, too. So I use that example. [01:05:34] Speaker A: Can openers. What is it? Scissors. [01:05:37] Speaker C: Erg. [01:05:39] Speaker A: Exactly. [01:05:40] Speaker C: You don't know. [01:05:41] Speaker A: Yes. [01:05:42] Speaker C: So the plight of the left handed person, you just don't know. So I use that example, and she was know, whatever. And I was like, what if Justin Timberlake was caught, like you said, graping children and, like, just doing it, just getting after. [01:05:57] Speaker A: It's groping and raping. Grapin'it's. Groping and raping. They're ripping in the. [01:06:02] Speaker B: Ripping. [01:06:04] Speaker A: Yep. They're ripping in the. Here's the thing. [01:06:08] Speaker C: Would she still like him? She said, yeah, I would. [01:06:09] Speaker A: I said, okay, so listen, with a football player, it's a lot harder because you can't just pop on a reel of Michael Vick to enjoy. You know what I mean? [01:06:21] Speaker B: You can watch his highlight. [01:06:22] Speaker A: Pyt sounded good ten years ago. It sounds good now. It's going to sound good in ten years. So what I'm saying is, I appreciate that and I'm still going to listen to Michael Jackson. Doesn't mean I like the motherfucker 100%. [01:06:36] Speaker C: I couldn't agree more. It doesn't mean I got to like the motherfucker. I'm not going to fucking be like, hey, man, defend his ass. No, I talk. [01:06:43] Speaker B: Pac was here. [01:06:43] Speaker A: I talk about this with our producer all the time, Donald Trump. I don't like the guy. I'm not going to have a beer with the guy. He is funny as fuck. What did he say? [01:06:54] Speaker C: Shit. [01:06:54] Speaker A: What did he say the other day when he was talking about Al Capone? He's like, al Capone scar on his face. World's biggest cribber. But you don't think he got that scar by playing tiddly winks, did you? [01:07:10] Speaker C: He's fucking hilarious. That's what I told lady. I'm like. She's like, oh, my God, you love. I'm like, no, I don't give a fuck about Tri. He's retorted, that's a hard r. It's. [01:07:19] Speaker B: An aggressively hard r. I told you that word does not have eight r's. In the beginning. [01:07:28] Speaker A: You fucking got there, didn't you? [01:07:29] Speaker C: I did. I got a boy, but the motherfucker can sell. He is charismatic. He's got that Riz. Am I old? [01:07:42] Speaker B: He said Riz, so you sound like a 70 year old trying to be young. Trying to be. [01:07:49] Speaker C: Regardless, motherfuckers. Charismatic. [01:07:51] Speaker A: Okay. [01:07:51] Speaker C: Got you on that. [01:07:52] Speaker A: Well, thank you so much. [01:07:54] Speaker C: That really grinds my gears. [01:07:55] Speaker A: I got here. [01:07:56] Speaker C: Griffin says, yeah, well, this is a. [01:07:58] Speaker A: Papa'S pulpit, so thank you. I appreciate it. I'm going to slide the pulpit over to Phil. Thank you for sharing. Damon, go fuck yourself. [01:08:07] Speaker B: I don't have a pulpit today. I don't have anything to grieve about, but I do, actually. Amber and I thought this would be nice. I'm going to give this to you for a little Christmas present. Little papa, don't preach. Christmas present. [01:08:17] Speaker A: I love that you did not do your homework, but you bought me a present instead. [01:08:21] Speaker B: Yeah, that's true. [01:08:23] Speaker A: I did not come prepared. [01:08:24] Speaker B: But you got to show the wrapping paper to everybody because I got so much shit for this. [01:08:30] Speaker A: Why did you get. It's very. [01:08:32] Speaker C: I didn't fucking do this. You wrap like a. [01:08:34] Speaker B: Careful. [01:08:35] Speaker A: I didn't fucking wrap that. [01:08:36] Speaker B: Do you think that's my job? [01:08:37] Speaker A: No, this is very nice. [01:08:39] Speaker B: Amber loves this fucking wrapping paper. She's super creepy about this shit. She loves Christmas. [01:08:44] Speaker C: No, it'sick Christmas paper, but it's super creepy. [01:08:47] Speaker B: Super creepy. [01:08:47] Speaker C: Why is it creepy? [01:08:48] Speaker A: Why is it creepy? Have you never seen nightmare before Christmas? [01:08:52] Speaker B: I have. I'm not a fan. [01:08:53] Speaker A: I mean, I liked it. [01:08:54] Speaker B: Now I get it. [01:08:55] Speaker A: You're a baby back bitch. All right, you know what? [01:08:57] Speaker C: I'm glad. I hope you take that fucking present again. [01:09:01] Speaker A: I take it back. Let me see what's in the present first. [01:09:03] Speaker C: Fucking real baby fat bitch McFlurry. [01:09:07] Speaker A: Okay. [01:09:07] Speaker B: I will. [01:09:08] Speaker C: All right. [01:09:08] Speaker B: Cannot wait to get you outside, Damon. Cannot wait to get you outside. [01:09:12] Speaker A: Okay. Let's see here. [01:09:16] Speaker C: Let me check this out. [01:09:17] Speaker B: Fucking wrapping paper over you. Just fucking tear it. [01:09:19] Speaker A: I don't want. I want to save it, because I like the wrapping paper. [01:09:21] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [01:09:22] Speaker A: All right. Oh, what does that say? We were talking about air monarchs last time. There you a. I hope you guys can see this. It says, not all heroes wear capes, and it's got a fucking pair of new balances. [01:09:40] Speaker B: Those are air monarchs. Those are Nike air monarchs. [01:09:42] Speaker A: These are Nike air monarchs. Sorry. [01:09:44] Speaker C: Monarchs. [01:09:45] Speaker A: Those are Nikes. [01:09:46] Speaker C: Okay. [01:09:46] Speaker B: Well, they're fucking. [01:09:48] Speaker A: I know. A new balance when I. [01:09:50] Speaker C: Those are new balances. [01:09:54] Speaker B: That's a basics, right? [01:09:55] Speaker A: Anyway, I love it. Not all heroes wear capes with the most dad shoe on the planet. [01:10:00] Speaker B: There you go. [01:10:01] Speaker A: I love it. [01:10:01] Speaker B: There you go. [01:10:02] Speaker A: It's going up on the mantle. We're going to have to replace the fruitcake Follies cup with this. [01:10:07] Speaker B: Yeah. Sorry, James Gray. Sorry. [01:10:09] Speaker C: You guys are trying to set me up with that one. [01:10:11] Speaker A: It's okay. I love it for any of you guys. Who knows? You guys should look it up. Fruitcake Follies. [01:10:18] Speaker B: Great show. [01:10:18] Speaker A: Great show. If you guys love. So you've never seen fruitcake Follies? [01:10:26] Speaker B: It's a great show. [01:10:27] Speaker A: If you want to see a bunch of older fruitcake to middle aged gay men, put on a variety comedy show. [01:10:36] Speaker C: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. [01:10:37] Speaker A: So wait, you think this is fake? [01:10:38] Speaker B: No, it's real. [01:10:39] Speaker C: I'm saying they're middle aged gay dudes. [01:10:44] Speaker A: I wouldn't even call them middle aged anymore. [01:10:46] Speaker B: No, they're definitely above middle aged. [01:10:48] Speaker A: They're above middle age. [01:10:49] Speaker C: And their show is called the Fruitcake. Fruitcake. [01:10:52] Speaker A: Yeah. Fruitcake Follies. [01:10:54] Speaker B: Yeah. Okay. [01:10:55] Speaker A: Yeah, I get it. You didn't get it. [01:10:57] Speaker B: It's a drag show. [01:10:58] Speaker C: I got it. [01:10:59] Speaker A: I don't think you do get it. [01:11:01] Speaker B: Do you get it? [01:11:02] Speaker C: Did you get it? Did you get fired or canceled with it? Did you get it? I'm not going to bite the fruitcake follies. [01:11:07] Speaker A: Anyway, I think is a fantastic show. This is the Christmas show. You take a look at that for everybody who's watching the fruitcake poly. It's a comedy variety show. [01:11:22] Speaker C: You know where I'm getting at with it? [01:11:24] Speaker A: It's a comedy thing. [01:11:25] Speaker C: I'm getting it. Yeah. [01:11:30] Speaker A: It's a comedy variety show. It's shot in the basement of a mexican restaurant in Los Felis every Christmas. It's fucking fantastic. You grab a couple margaritas, you go watch these guys. They're fucking amazing, dude. They put on a great show. And you know what's very incredible about them is how they are able to stay up on the times. Like their jokes aren't dated. Like, they stay up on the times. They're not sitting there talking about Dick Van Dyke and I love Lucy. Although old, they're great. [01:12:04] Speaker B: They're not young. They rewrite the show every year. [01:12:07] Speaker A: Every year. [01:12:07] Speaker B: James, I think, has done it for what, 20 years or something like that. [01:12:09] Speaker A: Yeah, James Gray used to be. He used to be Santa Claus at Disneyland. [01:12:12] Speaker C: Oh, wow. [01:12:14] Speaker A: He was our art director. He was not art director, but he was our. [01:12:18] Speaker B: Let's call him an art director. [01:12:19] Speaker A: Yeah, let's call him an art director. He was probably the most undervalued person on our set. Like, anytime you saw a camera that wasn't on stage, he designed it, he built it, he placed it. He was definitely undervalued. And, James, if you're listening, we love you. Can't wait to see you in the Follies this year. It's going to be amazing. I love it. Everything that reminds me of that episode. [01:12:41] Speaker C: In Modern Family, the faculty Follies cam. [01:12:47] Speaker A: They stole it from fruitcake Follies. [01:12:49] Speaker C: Yeah. Very cool. [01:12:50] Speaker A: That's their take on fruitcake Follies. You're just not in the know, man. You live in the fucking desert. What the fuck, you know? [01:12:55] Speaker C: Trees fucking hate. [01:12:58] Speaker A: Yeah, I get it. We're fed anyway. [01:13:02] Speaker B: Yeah, there you go. [01:13:05] Speaker A: So, for my pulpit, I'll keep it very quick. [01:13:08] Speaker B: What's grinding your gears lately? [01:13:10] Speaker A: Something that's grinding my gears. It's not very important. It's already passed. I kind of hate it. I'm going to keep it short. The NBA in season tournament is the dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life. [01:13:22] Speaker C: So how do you feel about them hanging the banner? [01:13:25] Speaker A: So I'm going to tell you right now, stupid. I'm going to tell you right now, there is nothing in lakers history that's ever been hung except for a championship banner. And when I say a championship banner, you don't invent a fucking tournament and hang it. You do not justify. Oh, this is going to be huge. Because I'll tell you right now, if they do hang it, this is not. They're hanging as important as they think it is, once this in season tournament, in five year goes away because nobody cares about it. [01:13:50] Speaker B: Correct. [01:13:50] Speaker A: They better fucking take that banner down. [01:13:52] Speaker B: Yeah, for sure. [01:13:53] Speaker A: Fuck. An in season tournament doesn't mean a goddamn thing. [01:13:56] Speaker B: Not at all. [01:13:57] Speaker C: And, dude, think about. [01:13:59] Speaker A: You're basically telling you like, oh, these guys won a regular season game. Why don't we just start giving out. [01:14:04] Speaker C: Rings for that shit? [01:14:05] Speaker B: And what was the prize? It was like five grand or seven grand. [01:14:07] Speaker C: Who the fuck cares? [01:14:08] Speaker B: They're making over a million. [01:14:09] Speaker C: It was a substantial amount of money. [01:14:11] Speaker B: What? [01:14:11] Speaker A: Half a mil? [01:14:12] Speaker C: Yeah. Half a million dollars. [01:14:13] Speaker B: Each player got. [01:14:13] Speaker C: Half a mil each player got. [01:14:15] Speaker B: Get the fuck out of here. [01:14:16] Speaker C: For winning a regular season game. [01:14:18] Speaker A: That's even worse. [01:14:19] Speaker C: That's worse. [01:14:20] Speaker B: The all star break. You don't need this fucking all star break. [01:14:24] Speaker C: Look at what happened after. They have lost six of seven or five of six or something, like they're getting their ass whooped. And it's wild that they're wanting. [01:14:35] Speaker A: I was embarrassed to see how happy LeBron was holding that fucking trophy. [01:14:39] Speaker C: You know why? He knows he ain't winning another NBA championship. [01:14:42] Speaker B: I mean, he's trying to sell this shit. It's all bullshit. They're trying to attract. They're trying to spice up this shit. [01:14:49] Speaker C: Adam Silver is doing this. [01:14:50] Speaker B: It's fucking dumb. It's absolutely fucking. [01:14:53] Speaker A: I obviously touched a nerve because I didn't want to do a fucking pulpit. That was everybody's pulpit, but I didn't want to go too long. I'm just saying I feel the same way everybody else feels. The NBA in season tournament. For those who do not know what the NBA did, is they had something called an in season tournament. This is what fucking high school does. This is what high schoolers do. Because there's so many high schools that you know that they're all not going to make the playoffs or go to the CIF championships or state championships or national championships. So they create these in season tournaments that they can get a stupid little fucking trophy. [01:15:29] Speaker B: It's today's participation trophy. [01:15:32] Speaker A: There is no reason to have an in season tournament. We are more than six fucking months away from the national championships. We are not close to the all star fucking game. Fuck. There is no trade deadline yet. The teams that we are looking at now may not even fucking exist in a couple months. The fact that you have an in season fucking tournament and give each player half a fucking million dollars and then one of the most prestigious dynasties franchise, the Los Angeles Lakers, are hanging a fucking banner is embarrassing. They don't hang any. How many Western Conference championships do the Lakers have? Look it up right now. [01:16:20] Speaker C: Multitude. [01:16:21] Speaker A: I want to see how many Western Conference championships the fucking Lakers have. That means they are the best team in the Western Conference. They beat every team in the Western Conference to get to the national champions. They get a trophy for that. [01:16:36] Speaker C: You know what I mean? [01:16:37] Speaker A: They have 1919, they have 1917. How many fucking banners are hanging up in the fucking. Was it crypto? What the fuck is the name of the arena now? Who the fuck knows? The Staples center? Yeah, because I'm an american. Angelino, first. [01:16:53] Speaker C: Wait, what? [01:16:53] Speaker A: Okay, the great western craywest. But there's 19 fucking NSC. Jesus Christ. See, I'm getting a little fucking hot and bothered. [01:17:05] Speaker C: Real hot. [01:17:06] Speaker A: You're 19 Western Conference championships. Not one of those banners are hanging up because they don't fucking matter if you don't come home with the fucking trophy, with the ring. If you don't take it all the way to the house, it doesn't fucking matter. Any fucking team will tell you that. The fucking Patriots, who went 19 and one, will tell you that. They don't talk about that fucking season. Golden State. Because it doesn't fucking matter. Golden State warriors have the best record in NBA history, regular season. Fucking come home with a shit because it doesn't matter. It doesn't getting fucking. I'm getting hyped up for no fucking reason. [01:17:46] Speaker C: I'm glad as a Laker fan, you're saying it. [01:17:49] Speaker A: Do you think you're not a Lakers fan? [01:17:51] Speaker C: No, that's what I'm saying. There's no validity to me saying it. [01:17:53] Speaker B: This is going to be a random one. All right. And just kind of go with this here. [01:17:56] Speaker A: Didn't you give up your pulpit? You traded in for a. [01:18:03] Speaker B: Let's pretend that Kobe was still playing. Not retired, not old or anything like that. And LeBron never came to LA. Do you think something like this happens? [01:18:11] Speaker A: No. [01:18:11] Speaker C: Kobe had a whole speech about there's no way we're hanging that shit. [01:18:16] Speaker B: I've talked to a lot of people. [01:18:17] Speaker C: As much as I did since LeBron. [01:18:19] Speaker B: Has been in LA. [01:18:20] Speaker A: He's made the franchise soft. He has made the franchise soft. [01:18:24] Speaker C: Seen the clips of him getting fouled? [01:18:27] Speaker A: Yeah, man. Everybody has. [01:18:29] Speaker C: It's hilarious. [01:18:34] Speaker A: Kobe's a piece of shit. He's a rapist. I love him. [01:18:37] Speaker C: He's a. I can't separate that. He's a piece of shit. [01:18:39] Speaker A: Yeah, he's a piece of shit. But he made the franchise better. [01:18:42] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely. He was a stronger player. [01:18:44] Speaker A: Nobody was. [01:18:45] Speaker B: Demanded more out of the team. And I fucking can't stand LeBron and anything that when you talk about the. [01:18:49] Speaker A: Greatest players of all time, there's a reason Michael Jordan was one of the greatest players of all time because he's not sitting there walking around making fucking friends. He wanted to be the fucking best, and he played legit. As with the know, Kobe, rest in peace. If Kobe was still alive, that conversation of him being one of the greatest of all time would still be going on. Probably get arrested because he would not have survived that me too era. I'll tell you that shit. Passed away by then. Yeah, he passed away in 2020. When did. [01:19:27] Speaker B: I was still at stone. [01:19:28] Speaker A: Me too, was 20 19 20 18 20 19. [01:19:31] Speaker C: Me too was the beginning of 2020. [01:19:33] Speaker B: Kobe died in 2019. [01:19:35] Speaker A: No, he didn't. January 2020. [01:19:38] Speaker C: Oh, you know what? I think that's right. I remember because Kobe died, and the world started like, yeah, Kobe died, and. [01:19:44] Speaker A: Then we had it, and then they killed Kobe, and he released the global pandemic recipes. [01:19:52] Speaker B: When was Covid? Was that March 2020 or is that 20? [01:19:54] Speaker A: It was March. [01:19:55] Speaker C: Well, it was in, like, crazy. [01:19:57] Speaker A: December 29. It was, like, November. December. But we're like, ha, the Chinese. And then in March, they shut down all of California. [01:20:05] Speaker B: That was March 2020. [01:20:06] Speaker C: Okay. [01:20:07] Speaker A: Everybody talks about that. [01:20:09] Speaker B: Dude, I thought Kobe passed away, like, 2019. [01:20:11] Speaker C: 2018. [01:20:13] Speaker A: The big me Too movement started in 2018. 2019. [01:20:18] Speaker C: I feel about the whole Covid shutdown, though. I got robbed. I know it really affected a lot of people 100%, but I still had to go to work every day, and I was like, what the fuck, man? [01:20:31] Speaker B: Your salary comes out of my taxes. [01:20:33] Speaker A: Shut the fuck up. I pay your goddamn salary. [01:20:36] Speaker B: You don't get a fucking goddamn. [01:20:37] Speaker A: You fucking kidding me? [01:20:38] Speaker B: I got to go to fucking work. [01:20:39] Speaker A: Who the fuck is paying for this fucking. This goddamn gym membership? That's my goddamn tax dollars. [01:20:44] Speaker B: What you need to say is thank you. Yeah, that's what you meant to say, right? Get your ass back in that fucking pine tree. We'll tell you when to come back. [01:20:52] Speaker A: All right. Okay. Spin the music. [01:20:54] Speaker B: Spin the music. [01:20:56] Speaker A: All right, guys. Anyway. [01:20:57] Speaker C: Good Lord. [01:20:58] Speaker A: I'm very happy to have an actual hero, Damon Rodriguez, here, even though I pay his goddamn salary. [01:21:05] Speaker B: Literally all of it. [01:21:06] Speaker A: Literally all of it. It's a pleasure to have Phil back up in the studio. [01:21:10] Speaker B: Happy to be here. [01:21:11] Speaker A: Anyway, ladies and gentlemen, this is Papa don't preach. Thank you so much. Have a merry Christmas. If we don't see you guys, then music's done by DNA and Aaron Mossow. Blaine Pierre is our producer. Big shout out to him, ladies and gentlemen, Papa don't preach. We'll see you next time.