Episode Transcript
Speaker 1 00:00:36 Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome back to Papa. Don't preach. I'm here with Bennett Miller. Bennett, how you doing? I'm fine right now. Oh, thanks, <laugh>. That is, that doesn't inspire confidence. <laugh>. I'll, uh, I'll be more specific. Oh, damn. Um, I, both of you, I don't think you've noticed I'm missing something tonight. Um, I, I don't see your pen. I don't have my pen. Are you, are you taking a tall break? I've, I'm more than that. I'm just, I'm stopping right now, smoking weed. Sunday night. This is Thursday night. It was the last night I smoked, weeded, uh, I threw everything out of the house. Get the what? Yes. Dang. I, um, you know, I'm turning 40. Uh, oh shit. You are old as a fuck. You know, there was a convergence of things, uh, that made me think that I need to, uh, reevaluate some things and work on some things.
Speaker 1 00:01:26 Okay. And it's hard to work on some things when you're stoned all day long. Great. I feel that. So, you know, talk to my therapist, talk to wife, talk to, you know, all the people I had talk to, it's like, Hey, I may be an asshole for a weekend or whatever, <laugh>. Um, but the hardest part was like, um, you know, my therapist said that like, probably one in 10 people have like, physical withdrawals. I was one <laugh>, <laugh>. 'cause like, fucking Monday morning, Tuesday, like, just cold sweat, panic attacks, like all day long. Like, just rolling panic attacks. 'cause like, I didn't have the thing that regulated my feelings and my emotions. When was the last time you, like, what's the longest time? It's been a decade since I've, like, 'cause I took, once I started like having, I started having anxiety attacks, like majorly like 10 years ago.
Speaker 1 00:02:12 Uh, so I started to get on medication. And then once I started medication, like smoking weed made me super paranoid. And, and I stopped. And then eventually got back on the train. And before that it was like in college, like, oh my God. When I first started smoking weeded. So, uh, it's been a challenge. I haven't been an asshole. I've been quite, I'm pretty proud of myself of like, how I've handled. 'cause you seem very bubbly. Thank you. <laugh>. I, uh, yeah. 'cause like, it's just weird like trying to feel like myself again. When, um, you know, the first couple days I did not, and now I'm starting to feel like more regulated and more like less cravings and all those things. Uh, I'm starting to dream again, which is something I don't like. I, uh, <laugh>. I, I have, I have crazy vivid dreams. Uh, so a lot of times that emotion carries over in the day. So, like, some people say like, you can't read in your dreams. Yeah. I can read in, in my dreams. 'cause the first night I won a solid gold Xbox, uh, from a Mountain Dew giveaway <laugh>. Uh, and I read it twice. 'cause I read it once when I won it. And I read it again when I showed Natalie in my dream that I won this solid gold Xbox on a Mountain Dew giveaway. Uh, so those, those
Speaker 2 00:03:15 Are, you woke up to nothing and
Speaker 1 00:03:16 Woke up. I was like, God dammit, <laugh>. My Xbox is old as shit. <laugh>. It's not gold at all. So working on that. And while this is happening, uh, dad's in town, stepmom's in town, uh, they're helping out with the kids Nats in Italy again, uh, for another show for a few weeks.
Speaker 2 00:03:32 She's Italian at this point. I mean, pretty
Speaker 1 00:03:33 Much chow. Hello? Ara Ara <laugh>. Uh, so, you know, head clear-ish. <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:03:43 Well, I wish you told me this before we started recording. This is gonna be a shitty episode, ladies and gentlemen. Ben is <laugh>.
Speaker 1 00:03:48 That's why I was, I was sneaking it up on you guys so you wouldn't suspect it. Let's see if I'm still as entertaining, uh, without a handful of weed. Hey,
Speaker 2 00:03:55 Hey. Without, I don't even know how to say it without sounding like a, a weirdo, but like, I'm very proud of you. That's a thanks, that's a big step.
Speaker 1 00:04:03 I mean, for me in particular, it's like, yeah. It's like, that's all I've done for a very long time. And it's, you know, it just helped me. Like, it helps fuzz the edges and like, make life a little easier to digest. Um, you know, like some people, like, I could have a beer or two Yeah. And like, be completely fine. Maybe one day I could have like a couple hits and be fine. I'm just not right now. And also it's like, it's didn't work. Like I, like, I, I kept thinking like, you know, when you're playing an R P G and you hit level 99 <laugh>, like, you can't, I I was level 99. Like, it wasn't working for me. It did, weren't going anywhere. No. Okay. So it's all been, uh, positive except for the 48 hours of just cold sweat, panic attacks, <laugh>. But after that was over, um, you know,
Speaker 2 00:04:41 Except for my physical and mental withdrawals for the last 48 hours. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:04:44 They're pretty good. Not bad. Not
Speaker 2 00:04:46 Bad <laugh>. So,
Speaker 1 00:04:46 You know, I
Speaker 2 00:04:47 Recommend it.
Speaker 1 00:04:48 We'll see how it goes. Well,
Speaker 2 00:04:49 Shit, man, that's a huge, huge step.
Speaker 1 00:04:51 That's, that was, you know, that was my Labor day. You also went to the naturalistic museum. Oh, ran kids, ran around, looked at animals.
Speaker 2 00:04:58 So wait, when did you start that? Were you at the
Speaker 1 00:05:00 Museum on Sunday? No. On Sunday. Yes. I was on, on Monday on Labor Day, sweating my ass off, looking at dinosaur bones with my kids. Damn.
Speaker 2 00:05:07 <laugh> <laugh>
Speaker 1 00:05:08 With my dad and my stepmom.
Speaker 2 00:05:10 Oh my God. Yo.
Speaker 1 00:05:12 Yeah, it was like, it was one of those things, like, I told my therapist, like, if I could make it through this week, like, I'm pretty sure I could, I'm pretty good. Like, I got this, like, you know, gnat's not in town. Like, she flew out Monday morning, like five o'clock in the morning. So it was just like, oh, also the kids, like at the daycare, one of the teachers got Covid on Thursday. So they, I was with kids, uh, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday. <laugh>, uh, just fucking straight man, <laugh> and those dudes, I love 'em to death. But they got, they, you know, they're not getting calmer,
Speaker 2 00:05:38 Dude. Si single parents and like, stay at home moms and dads don't get enough credit for like, I've been that. I've been that. Yeah. It's like a fucking jail sentence. Yeah. It's, I love my son. Yeah. But like,
Speaker 1 00:05:50 And I had help too, but it's like, I still, it's like
Speaker 2 00:05:53 Five days straight. It's just like,
Speaker 1 00:05:54 It's a lot.
Speaker 2 00:05:55 Can't bring him in public. <laugh> always upset. There's nothing ever. Correct. Always fighting. Oh my God.
Speaker 1 00:06:01 So I didn't, I didn't snap. I didn't yell. I was pretty proud of how we handled it.
Speaker 2 00:06:05 Damn. Not one. You didn't do the, the big, the Big Bennett voice that we've heard so much on this pod.
Speaker 1 00:06:10 No, I did not. I did. I was like, I need 15 minutes. I'll see you in 15 minutes. And I just, I just hid my bedroom and like, took deep breaths a few times. But <laugh>, no, I didn't, no outward bursts at my
Speaker 2 00:06:21 Children. Didn't take it out on your children. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:06:22 Got,
Speaker 2 00:06:23 Got it, got it, got it. Okay. Well, shit, man. I am, yeah.
Speaker 1 00:06:26 Busy Labor Day for me. How was yours?
Speaker 2 00:06:28 Um, well, I had a bit of a Covid scare.
Speaker 1 00:06:31 Oh yes. Oh yes. I had
Speaker 2 00:06:33 A bit of a Covid scare, um, on my Labor day, you know. Um, I had my kid woke up, like, um, like he was a million bucks. He was ready to go. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And then just around 10:00 AM ate breakfast and fell asleep. And I was like, oh, hell no. <laugh>.
Speaker 1 00:06:50 Oh,
Speaker 2 00:06:51 Hell no.
Speaker 1 00:06:51 This ain't working. No, no. If you
Speaker 2 00:06:52 Don't fall asleep now, we're gonna, I'm Wait, that's two hours from now. Like, you don't just <laugh>. Oh, hell no. Mm-hmm. But, um, I started realizing that he didn't feel well because I don't know if your kids do that when, uh, they're sick and they just get super cuddly and super nice and patient. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, it's kind of like, oh man, you feel like shit. But like, this is chill. <laugh>
Speaker 1 00:07:11 <laugh>. It is. It's one of the only times they stop moving. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:07:14 I could dig this. Mm-hmm. He's just like, sitting next to me. He is like, I miss you. I'm like, I'm right here. He's like, okay. I'm like watching Sopranos. And he's just like, why does that guy have white on his hair? I'm like, a, he's not gonna last very long. Don't worry about this <laugh>, you know. But, um, dur during that day, like, you know, he was chill. He didn't eat that much. I started taking his temperature. I'm like, Ooh, a hundred. Ooh, 101. Ooh. 102. I was like, uhoh. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. What's happening? Then he passed out. Everything was fine. He passed out like seven 30. And then he woke up at 1159. Ugh. Woke up. Dad, like, what up? Got him woke up again. 1202. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> woke up again, 1208. Like, just kept on. And so we went all through the night. Huh. So we went downstairs and he was up. He was, he had a high temperature, he was super lethargic, but just wouldn't go to bed. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. He would try to like, you know, when kids try to cuddle up on you in the weirdest motherfucking ways. Like ass in the face, foot in the mouth. Like, just like, like how is this comfortable for you? You upside
Speaker 1 00:08:21 Down. Yeah. Miles said, I wanna sleep on your head the other day. It's like, you can't sleep on my head buddy. I tried, of course. Like, is it comfortable? Like, put him on my head like a hat.
Speaker 2 00:08:28 This is an audio medium, but for those of you that are calling bullshit, there's plenty of people I think that could sleep on Bennett's head. <laugh>. He's not a little guy. <laugh>,
Speaker 1 00:08:36 He curl up. Yeah, he curl
Speaker 2 00:08:37 Up
Speaker 1 00:08:38 Over there. <laugh>
Speaker 2 00:08:39 Just like, it's moved behind the ears. <laugh>. But yeah, man, he was just from, basically from midnight till about 6 45 in the morning, he was up. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And then, uh, we finally got a That sucks. Yeah. Like, I <laugh>, it's one of those things where you think you're coping. And then, you know, Shannon came downstairs, she looked, took one look at me and is like, oh,
Speaker 1 00:09:04 <laugh>, <laugh>. You okay? Oh no. I'm
Speaker 2 00:09:06 Like, I thought I looked normal.
Speaker 1 00:09:07 <laugh>. I thought, I thought I was good. Yeah. I
Speaker 2 00:09:09 Thought I'm about to go to work. What's, what's, what's wrong with me? Just like looking at me like, oof. Like people, like my brother's like, yo, what's wrong? Like, everybody at work were just looking at me like, are you okay? And I'm like, what the fuck? <laugh>? Like,
Speaker 1 00:09:22 I
Speaker 2 00:09:22 Think I was overcompensating, you know? I just walk in. I'm just like, he smile, like, dude, what the fuck? Tone it down. But yeah, that, that happened and, you know, we had to keep him home and yeah. That was the labor day. Like we didn't, we had all these plans to go to the park. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> and like barbecue. I was still able to smoke some chicken oh's. Good, good for you. I was good. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Uh, but yeah, like the whole thing, like, just ended up staying at home, which was actually pretty chill. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:09:49 We, uh, we went out and did it and like, went to the aquarium on Tuesday. We, I mean, damn. We did it. Uh, it Miles was like, 'cause they have a lots of touch stuff. And he is like, I wanna touch a seal. I wanna touch a penguin. Oh my God. I wanna touch that fish.
Speaker 2 00:10:01 <laugh> pat down.
Speaker 1 00:10:03 Yeah. Because he could like, touch sharks and jellyfish and stuff. And he touched everything. And he got, he was like, got touch crazy. He's like, I wanna touch that seal. Like that seal's 800 pounds. Buddy. <laugh>, he ain't touching. It also
Speaker 2 00:10:13 Gets the same way. He wants to touch something and then he sees it and he's like, nah, yeah, nah. Like, nah, I'm good. I'm good. I'm good. Behind the glass.
Speaker 1 00:10:20 No, he's like, he was trying to find seams to get his hands in there. <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:10:25 I think he's gonna grow out of that hope. He's gonna go from one that touch to anything. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> everything. And then one, he is gonna wake up and everything is disgusting. Like, I'm not touching that.
Speaker 1 00:10:33 Yeah. He's, uh, they're both gross. We've talked about this before. Yeah. I get grossed up by my kids all the time. So
Speaker 2 00:10:38 Disgusting.
Speaker 1 00:10:39 They just like the way they get their food everywhere and like, it's like,
Speaker 2 00:10:42 Come on bro. Come
Speaker 1 00:10:43 On. <laugh>. Grow up
Speaker 2 00:10:45 Like, I'm an adult and I still will not reach my hand into a bowl of mac and cheese. 'cause it just ugh.
Speaker 1 00:10:52 Yuck.
Speaker 2 00:10:52 Mm-hmm. <affirmative>
Speaker 1 00:10:53 Kids The worst is like kids. Like the little dude has been offering me, he's like so nice. Like, but like he'll just feed me snack after snack. It's like, I don't want anything from your hands, kid.
Speaker 2 00:11:01 Yeah. I was like, you're gonna, I'm like, you're gonna mature over that. I be like, here daddy. And I'm like, where the fuck did you get that carrot <laugh>? We haven't had carrots in the house for four days. Where the fuck did you get that carrot? It's like, here, you want a yummy? I'm like, no, I want you to step the fuck back.
Speaker 1 00:11:17 And he like, will watch me. Like, I can't pretend he'll like just dead eye. Me. Sure. He can't. No. They're like, I'm Mm. Good <laugh>. It's like, just gives me another one.
Speaker 2 00:11:27 Well, I mean, that's, ugh.
Speaker 1 00:11:30 I mean, it's sharing, but like that's, yeah. I've seen like, when I wipe your hands and it's, it's just like a black hand print on the wet app. Like, that's, that's where it's coming from. Man. I don't want that. Where these washing
Speaker 2 00:11:39 A kid's hands and then seeing all this like brown soot circle in your sink. And I'm like, I didn't even notice that I looked, your hands looked normal. And so
Speaker 1 00:11:47 Water hit it. Yeah. Every time. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:11:49 There's a lot.
Speaker 1 00:11:50 You gave me five crunches with those hands. <laugh>. Unbelievable.
Speaker 2 00:11:54 There's times like, do do your, your kids stick their finger in your mouth or? Yes. Oh my God.
Speaker 1 00:12:00 They're just like, Ugh, kids are so fucking weird, man.
Speaker 2 00:12:02 I had no idea what was going on. No idea what was going on. And like my kid Oza walks up on the couch mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And he squeezes both my cheeks and goes funny. And let's go. <laugh> does again, goes funny. Let's go, let's go. And he puts his hand over my mouth. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And he goes, don't say anything. And I just smell this smell. Mm. And I'm like, I know this smell. It's not poop. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. It's like a rotten egg smell. And like, I guess I can't, you know what, it's fine. It's a podcast. Yeah. You can't prove it. But I like whooped my hand around. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> like, just shot him off the couch. I'm like, Haah. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> just let him, he went flying <laugh>. And I'm like, what's that smell? He said, what? I smell his hands. I'm like, what? Backtrack. Like the Where have you been? Where the hell have you been? You have never found what he's touched. <laugh> washed his hands. Washed his hands with soap. Like, I even, like, I took the nice hand soap. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I went into the kitchen, grabbed a little bit of dawn and put that shit on his hands. I know. It's just make it
Speaker 1 00:13:03 Extra spicy. Just like
Speaker 2 00:13:04 I know it's not good for your hands. Like, I, I never wanna, I don't care if your hands are bones now. I never wanna smell that smell again. <laugh>. That was on my face.
Speaker 1 00:13:12 Just like, touch the top of the milk carton. I dunno. Where'd you get that smell,
Speaker 2 00:13:15 Man? I just, I'm like, how did, like, we took a shower this morning, <laugh>, how did this ha how did this smell end up on your hands? But anyway, I mean, uh, we're gonna be talking about a little bit later in our, our, our main segment about foods, what you feed. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. That's kind of what we're getting at. But first, but first I want to ask you a little question. <laugh>. Okay. <laugh>. Uh, I know that you went to Italy mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I went to Japan. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Uh, one of our representatives were talking about sunscreen. A o c Whoop, whoop. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Do you know that sunscreen in our country is absolutely terrible. I had,
Speaker 1 00:13:54 Like, when I traveled to Italy, that's what like everyone told me there. It's like, you gotta get the sunscreen here. It's it. 'cause it doesn't have, so you, you heard about this?
Speaker 2 00:14:01 I have heard
Speaker 1 00:14:01 That. Like, we have bullshit sunscreen. It's like, it's full of like corn syrup or something. I dunno how it works. I
Speaker 2 00:14:06 Don't, I don't understand. Like what type of, like, now for those of you who don't know, I happen to be a darker complexion. I don't fuck around with sunscreen a lot. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. But I know I'm gonna be in the sun. You know, I'm not one of those people. Like, oh, black people don't burn. Like Yeah, we burn.
Speaker 1 00:14:19 You still have skin. It counts. We don't
Speaker 2 00:14:20 Go through the process. It's just like sun peel cancer. Yeah,
Speaker 1 00:14:25 Sun.
Speaker 2 00:14:26 It's that burn bullshit. There's none of that burning bullshit. And like, aloe vera. Nah. It's just like, I'm fine. I'm fine. What's that spot? Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. That's all it is. Like, we don't go through the process. So I, I'm like, I don't know what this bitch is talking about. She's crazy. Like, this is some bullshit. And I start to look it up and I'm like, there's podcasts about this <laugh>, there's news stories about this. Apparently like South Korea's like the most sunscreen nation on the planet. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>.
Speaker 1 00:14:51 There's, well even like, uh, like in, when went to Hawaii, like you have to use certain sunscreen there because, because it affects like the ocean life and shit like that. Oh,
Speaker 2 00:15:00 My dad, we don't care about shit over
Speaker 1 00:15:02 Here. Yeah. I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 2 00:15:03 Oh. It's just like, throw your dumps in the ocean. It's fine. Yeah. Wash away <laugh>.
Speaker 1 00:15:07 As long as it's aerosol on my skin.
Speaker 2 00:15:09 So I Do you, when you take your kids out, like what type of sunscreen do you use? Are you like
Speaker 1 00:15:15 It's not, I use like, the kid stuff. Like the, the more closer to natural. Also my kids are like, they're not like white <laugh>. Yeah. <laugh>. They, they tan pretty good. <laugh>. I'm the only white dude. I'm the white dude in the house. Yeah. I forgot
Speaker 2 00:15:27 You're the only white dude in the
Speaker 1 00:15:28 House. I just turned pink. Everyone else turns a golden brown. <laugh>. <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:15:34 Don't worry. I got one of those in the house. <laugh>, like, we all go out in the sun. We all go out in the sun, come back looking fucking gleam and mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So like Willie Beam and Shannon comes in the fucking house with an umbrella looking like Michael Jackson at Disneyland. No, it looks like a covered the
Speaker 1 00:15:47 Fuck up. Yeah. Like I did a marathon. Yeah. She's just <laugh>. Just huffing and puffing sucks. <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:15:52 Yeah. When we, we went to that pool day, she had the fucking bucket hat on. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> not happy in the sun. <laugh> not happy. Not happy at all. But yeah. Anyway, uh, we have a great show lined up for everyone today. Uh, we're gonna be talking about, um, some would you rathers with my big boy bait? Mm-hmm. <affirmative> talking about some of our favorite dad meals to feed our kids a few things that are rubbing us the wrong way and then stick around. 'cause I think we got a game or papa's pulpy coming up. I think so. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:16:18 We'll see if it all fits it all in. We'll see. We'll see if we get
Speaker 2 00:16:20 It all in. But ladies and gentlemen, stick around. This is Papa on Preach. We'll be right back.
Speaker 2 00:16:46 Ladies and gentlemen, we are back. Thank you. That was a nice little break. Yeah. I had a, I wouldn't say a good time, but I enjoyed hanging out with you during the break. It was nice. Thank you. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> fishing for compliments. <laugh>. All right. Uh, ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Papa. Don't preach. Um, I wanted to talk to you, uh, mostly culinary things. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, uh, there's your, your kids are reaching that toddler age. Oh yeah. Like, they're, they're barreling through it. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I do remember that. And a lot of parents have suffered with this that kids will get, uh, a taste for some things. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And, you know, sometimes life is so hectic, you don't know where to bring your kids. Uh, when's the last time you went to a dinner with your children?
Speaker 1 00:17:33 Um, a dinner.
Speaker 2 00:17:35 Like you went out to Applebee's or, yeah, we usually do No boo. We
Speaker 1 00:17:39 Do a breakfast or a lunch, but they rarely make it outta the house. Past dozen <laugh>. Okay. They're
Speaker 2 00:17:44 Unpredictable. Well, more like when have you been to a restaurant <laugh>?
Speaker 1 00:17:47 No, we do, like, there's a, a Denny's and a walking distance from our house. It's like you
Speaker 2 00:17:50 Got like gremlins, like just a certain amount of time. You gotta get 'em in the house.
Speaker 1 00:17:53 Yes. Okay. <laugh>. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. <laugh>, we will start popping little, little toddlers off their back. <laugh>. And one's gonna be kooky eyed <laugh>. I then want that
Speaker 2 00:18:02 Little string. All right. Um, so yes. Uh,
Speaker 1 00:18:09 But yeah, like, we do, like, we do like, yes, we have done dinner. Like, there was one particular dinner, it was like a vacation dinner. I think it was in Hawaii with Miles. It was like one of those three hour dinners where I was just like, buddy, I'm outta apps, I'm outta games, I'm outta YouTube. <laugh>, we're gonna, I'm gonna go, we're gonna leave. We're leaving <laugh>. Like, he was just so restless and like, running around the restaurant.
Speaker 2 00:18:30 Like, and that doesn't count. You're at, you're on vacation. It doesn't count. He
Speaker 1 00:18:34 Still count. It still counts. Yeah. He still gotta watch that dude. <laugh>. Yeah. It still counts.
Speaker 2 00:18:37 It still counts. O's just jealous <laugh>. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:18:40 No, it, um, yeah, they do pretty good at restaurants. Like, you know, the little guy is the ambassador to all, so he has to say hi to every single person in the restaurant. Yes, man. And bye too. It's great. I
Speaker 2 00:18:50 Wish I could just stick a camera on him. <laugh>. And it just activates when he's around you in public, just like the most social child on the planet. Yeah. Next to the most introverted human one. Guess the
Speaker 1 00:19:00 Thing is like, you know, <laugh>, they're, they're only getting one high <laugh> <laugh>. And I get one for me and be like, isn't that cute? All right. Let's go <laugh>. He's a cute guy. Right? <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:19:11 Hello. Oh my God. Okay. Let's move along all. Thank you.
Speaker 1 00:19:14 Let's move along. Hello's enough. Hello's enough. That's
Speaker 2 00:19:16 It. That's it. All right. We're done. We're done. Um, yeah. I Do you remember the last time you were out and it was like, okay, we're never doing this again.
Speaker 1 00:19:25 <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:19:25 We're never doing this again.
Speaker 1 00:19:27 There's been a couple of those breakfasty, like things are re you know, unhappy. Like, I don't know. They're pretty, like, the thing is like, they're pretty good when they're eating. Like, well that's like last time's the problem. Yeah. Like, last time we went out, I say Denny's, that's the closest one we walked to like on a Saturday morning. The Denny's <laugh>. But like, literally like the little dude ate like a potato worth of hash brown. And like the other guy ate like two pancakes and like three eggs. It's just like, they love breakfast food. <laugh>, they'll house it and they usually behave with on a full stomach, you know. Okay. There's not a lot of running around. You're all soaked with syrup. So you
Speaker 2 00:19:59 Think breakfast food is more, uh, like a lunchtime might be harder 'cause it's hard to pick a lunch, but mm-hmm. <affirmative> breakfast food, they're like, they're dialed in. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:20:07 Okay. We, um, I can't remember if I told this on the pod or not, but the other weekend, like, uh, Nat had miles, I had Miro both doing separate things. Yeah. And Mile Miles is like, now I was like, Hey, we go home for lunch and Miles, like, let's just do a car lunch. And he's like, what do you mean a car lunch? He's like, you know, like french fries and nuggets and that kind of thing. <laugh> a car lunch. I was like, oh, yeah. I guess I do do car lunches with the dude sometimes. <laugh> <laugh>. It's
Speaker 2 00:20:32 Like, dude, it's so funny when your kid start to call you out mm-hmm. <affirmative>,
Speaker 1 00:20:36 She's like, what's a car lunch? Like? Oh, like McDonald's. When I don't feel like stopping, I just feed 'em french fries from the back and take a bite outta nuggets and then, and then give 'em the other bite. <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:20:48 You know, cartilage. That's too good. I remember going, uh, I was at The Grove. Uh, for those of you who are not in the, uh, LA area, the Grove is one of those outdoor mall areas. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, you know, it's got a j Crew, a movie theater, a fountain, bunch of fancy store thing. A whole thing. Yeah. Yeah. One of those we're at The Grove. And, uh, we took Ozone. It's like the second time he is been to a big public lunch or a restaurant mm-hmm. <affirmative> sitting outside. And he was being like, I was with, uh, Shannon and her mom, and he was being okay. He was being loud. He was standing up on the table. He was very excited to be there. And at one point, like Shannon was like either on her phone, uh, showing something to her mom on her phone.
Speaker 2 00:21:32 And Ozo just, I think I told something, the pot before, he stands up and throws a fork into the pond. <laugh> throws it. And I look at him and I look across the table. They didn't notice. I kind of give like one of those little stretches. I grab him by the arm to pull him down to his seat. I'm like, Hey, are you okay? Because I don't wanna say, don't do that. Yeah. Because people are like, what did he do? Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. He said, are you okay? Are you okay? He's like, ow, ow. And I realized I'm doing like, you know, the abusive ex-boyfriend grabbed to the arm, like, I'm grabbing, like, what the fuck is going wrong? So I'm grabbing him. Everybody's like, okay. Because he, uh, inside the grove, they have this big ass pond with a bunch of Coys inside mm-hmm. <affirmative>.
Speaker 2 00:22:13 And I think he was trying to hit a coy. He was just like, trying to get their attention. And he launched the fucking fork in there. And I was like, okay. Cool. Never again. Yeah. Never again. This is the last time. This is the last fucking time. <laugh>. This is the last time. And I realized what I had to do. This, he's a toddler. He needs to be entertained, so mm-hmm. <affirmative>, Benny, Hannahs <laugh>. <laugh>. I'll tell, tell old show in a meal. That was the best dinner experience I've had with that kid was be, he had the Crown, the little Benny Hannahs chef hat. Oh yeah. He was just like, whoa, did you see that? I'm like, I'm right next to you, <laugh>. Of course I saw it. You know, like, and like it's, I love going to Benny Hannahs too, because the chefs, they get this one kid that's like their biggest fan.
Speaker 2 00:22:58 They're like, oh, I'm turning it up tonight. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, you know, he's like throwing a sesame little powder over his head. He is got the M S G marked as salt. We all know what it is. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. It's delicious. Keep doing it. He's got, he does did everything. The beating heart, the Choocho train. Onion Mount Fuji. Yeah. Mount Fuji. Fuck. Yeah. You know what it is? You know, like everybody at the, everybody at our table is so stoked that Ozo was having such a great time. Yeah. That like, it just made the whole experience better. They're like, this kid is having a ball. Oh, I'm stealing that idea. We're gonna do that. That sounds fun, dude. Benny Hanas. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> is, now here's the only, here's the rub. It is not cheap. <laugh>. And the food is garbage. <laugh>. I had, so I got the filet micin. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> with some Scamp. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, that shit tastes like rubber bands and pencil shavings. It was not good.
Speaker 1 00:23:47 It's been fluent flopped in your face.
Speaker 2 00:23:49 It's just like, when somebody's throwing your meat halfway to the ceiling, it's not gonna taste great. <laugh>. It's not gonna, that's not the best meat.
Speaker 1 00:23:57 But, but did he spin the egg?
Speaker 2 00:23:59 Uh, he did spin the egg. He did the spin egg, threw it up,
Speaker 1 00:24:02 Cracked
Speaker 2 00:24:02 It on
Speaker 1 00:24:03 This spatula. Oh, that's a good move,
Speaker 2 00:24:05 Dude. It was great. It was
Speaker 1 00:24:06 Great. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna do that. Let's do
Speaker 2 00:24:08 That. Benny Hanas. That's, that's the, the ticket right there. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> <laugh>, our producer's like mm-hmm. <laugh>, my producer likes good food and he's very, very aware that Benny Hanas is, it is
Speaker 1 00:24:20 For the show. It's the Chuck E. Cheese of, uh, hibachi. Yes. <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:24:26 Very, very, very, very, very, very true. Um, so what is like one of the best meals you cooked for your kids that you had no idea they would eat? Hmm.
Speaker 1 00:24:36 They have been like, sometimes they're surprising, like, adventurous eaters and other times, like, fucking miles, <laugh>, like, literally like, put four things on his plate. I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. I like that. It's like, awesome. Thanks for letting me know.
Speaker 2 00:24:50 I don't wanna hear it. Eat it. Shut up
Speaker 1 00:24:52 <laugh>. Then, uh, of course, like we, you know, we try not to be like, I remember like as a kid having the <laugh>, like one of those traumatic, stupid, traumatic things in kindergarten, they wouldn't let me go to recess 'cause I didn't eat my English muffin pizza <laugh>. So I'm not gonna be that. Like, I'm not, it's like, you know, I'm, make sure you have a couple bites, like two bite rules. But I didn't, like, didn't, like I didn't eat English muffin, so I was an adult. 'cause I didn't like 'em so much. Yeah. I, I don't, but literally I was, I was rooted in my stance. Like, I'm not going to re I'm not going to eat this. And like, we're not gonna recess. And I sat there, <laugh> didn't
Speaker 2 00:25:26 Go to recess, waited them out. You just waited them out.
Speaker 1 00:25:28 Did not go to recess. Holy shit. Yeah. The English muffin
Speaker 2 00:25:31 Pizza. I had the opposite problem. <laugh> like, I was a kid. I ate everything. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Except for like, that's not true. I remember, oh, I dunno if I talked about this yet. My mom figured out my caper, my, my ruse. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 00:25:46 <affirmative>.
Speaker 2 00:25:47 I went from a kid who never touched his vegetables to cleaning out his plate. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And, you know, I, I, I had a good scam going. But what day I got lazy. One day. I got real lazy <laugh>. But the whole thing was, is that I would take a big scoop of vegetables. 'cause my mom would watch me and I'd just shove it in my mouth. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And I'd start to chew it. And she's like, okay, he's eating his vegetables. And I'd spit out the mush in my hand and I'd like crunch it in my hand and stick it in my pocket.
Speaker 1 00:26:14 Oh. I don't like that at all. <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:26:16 And so I don't like that at all. My mom would look and every time she wasn't looking, I would take a little bit of un crushed stuff and stick it in my pocket. And
Speaker 1 00:26:24 This is like, what you like junior, senior in high school? Yeah. I was,
Speaker 2 00:26:26 This is like last year. <laugh>.
Speaker 1 00:26:28 This is like Thanksgiving. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:26:29 Man. I was like 31, 32
Speaker 1 00:26:32 <laugh>. A squishy vegetable pocket. Ugh.
Speaker 2 00:26:36 That's awful. This day I go to my mom's house. She's like, lemme see your pocket. She's like, no, I'm an adult. No, you are a grand, you're a grandma. I do not have to empty my pockets. Squishing back to the
Speaker 1 00:26:47 Car. Carrots and peas flopping out.
Speaker 2 00:26:48 Shannon, we gotta stop at the gas station. Full gas. We gotta stop at the gas station.
Speaker 1 00:26:53 I mean, that's the change of clothes. Rules works for you too. <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:26:56 I always have an extra pair of pants. You know, you
Speaker 1 00:26:58 Gotta, Hey, you split 'em. You got vegetables in them. You never know. Yeah. That's why
Speaker 2 00:27:01 I have my pants and my split pee pants. <laugh>. That's you. You gotta learn <laugh>. But I remember, uh, I would always get my pants. I would fold them under my bed. I'd take a shower and then I'd scoop it outta my pocket, fucking go to the trash can. And I'd shove my hand in the trash can all the way at the bottom. And then wash my hands. <laugh>. One day I got lazy <laugh> and I left it in my pocket. And I, I don't know if I've explained to you guys that my mom is diabolical
Speaker 1 00:27:32 <laugh>. I've gotten that
Speaker 2 00:27:33 Impression. Yes. An amateur, an amateur parent, a a non Nigerian woman would've found that food in my pocket and been like, what is this? Mm-hmm. My mom was like, Ooh, there's a ruse afoot. <laugh> riddles three. What could it be? <laugh>?
Speaker 1 00:27:51 She's like, she started, she started handing you more rope. So here some more rope. Oh
Speaker 2 00:27:55 Yeah. She fucking, she showed me the plot. She gave me the shovel. She said, I'll be back in four hours. Let me know when you're neck deep. <laugh>. So like, I put, like, so my mom waited and I would put this and my food in my pocket, and I'd go and put it under my bed. Take a bath and wait. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> the next, like, the next time I did that, I went to my pants under my bed to throw in the trash can. And my pants were gone. And I'm like, where'd I put my, well, whatever. I don't think anything about it. Whatever. Yeah. That weekend, my mom has these two disgusting piles of mush on the counter. <laugh> asking me why I am hiding food. This whole lecture about how people would kill for the amount of food. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, there's people starving and you're hiding food
Speaker 1 00:28:46 And you got pocket peas.
Speaker 2 00:28:48 I'm sitting there just like, how did she find us out? Who ratted me out? Was it my fucking piece of shit brother? And my bitch sister? Like,
Speaker 1 00:28:54 Who the, who the fuck did
Speaker 2 00:28:56 This, who sold me the fuck out? Come to realize I messed up and my mom was playing me. Now I'm an adult and I have to think that my mom kept mushed vegetables out of my pocket somewhere safe. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> where she could present it to me to show me that I was fucking up.
Speaker 1 00:29:17 I'm sure she bagged it. Like evidence. Yeah. Oh, <laugh> exhibit A. Exhibit B. Yeah. Hey, get
Speaker 2 00:29:21 Yeah. Get me, get me exhibit A in C 14. Bring him down here. Pick
Speaker 1 00:29:25 It up with a pencil. Like
Speaker 2 00:29:27 All in order. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just sitting there on the couch. She's like, you would have to believe that you are a good man that loves food. Now I'm just a simple Nigerian woman from the south twiddling in her fucking suspender. Like, what?
Speaker 1 00:29:44 <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:29:47 Oh. But yes, I am sorry that to get off tangent talking about my mi my Nigerian mother.
Speaker 1 00:29:53 No, I, uh, I love and hate like the so fucking gross <laugh>. I can't stand that thought at all. Having a pocket full of chewed
Speaker 2 00:30:01 Food, I just,
Speaker 1 00:30:03 Ugh.
Speaker 2 00:30:03 Hey man, I had whatever I had
Speaker 1 00:30:05 To do desperate times. I fi Hey, I get it.
Speaker 2 00:30:07 Whatever I had to do. Like, it was like, I realize now, like, like as I got older, I just vegetables get here. I just, I just powered through, drank some water and enjoyed my food. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. But, you know, there's some things I just will never let go. And I've, I've told this, I remember our, one of our old hoes, Mitch used to laugh at this 'cause he had this bowl of peas story, the bowl of peas stories for our avid listeners know this, but his dad made him eat a bowl of peas. And like, he'll never touch peas again. Like, he was like seven or eight. He's like, you're eating these bowl of peas. Mom wasn't home. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> dad had to take care of the kids, wouldn't eat his vegetables. Like, I need some dinner. Here's a bowl of peas. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:30:44 <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:30:45 I had to kill it.
Speaker 1 00:30:47 Uh, my dad to this day calls peas, uh, rat nuts. <laugh>. So you got that girl.
Speaker 2 00:30:52 Got it. I know what cloth you're cut from.
Speaker 1 00:30:55 <laugh>. Yeah. You also said that whenever you farted in the morning, you was stepping on a duck <laugh>. Oh. So it sound like somebody stepped on a duck.
Speaker 2 00:31:03 I'll tell you. That's my, that is my, like, I've been doing it since I was five. I had no idea. It was like a dadism or whatever, a father, if you will. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. But like, since I was seven, let out a fat fart. And I just started looking around, just be like, y'all hear that
Speaker 1 00:31:19 <laugh>
Speaker 2 00:31:20 Fucking house haunted <laugh>. Fuck was that sitting there in a, like a full conversation. My mom would be like, how was school? My school was great. Uh, you know, I I I was able to leave football or Hold on, did we get a flat tire? <laugh>? Is this house on wheels? What? Did we blow something down? What happened? My mom's like, Ugh, this guy, this guy. And I always thought it was hilarious. <laugh>. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:31:44 It's, uh, my kids, uh, are at the, I mean, they both are like hardcore into like the farts funny far. Like Miles will like pretend to like, and like I fart on you. <laugh>, like Yes, I know. Very. And then he will fart on me sometimes. Like I tooted on you.
Speaker 2 00:31:58 I think
Speaker 1 00:31:59 <laugh> and then Miro Hass been going, uh, bye. Tootie <laugh>. Like tell like at daycare. Drop him off. It's like, bye dadda. Bye. Tootie <laugh>. God dammit. All right. Bye
Speaker 2 00:32:09 <laugh>. Bye
Speaker 1 00:32:09 Tootie. Bye. Tootie.
Speaker 2 00:32:11 You know what, we're gonna post this, uh, bla remind me to get this video, uh, to post on our Instagram on Papa. Don't preach our Instagram. Papa Don't preach podcast. I have a video where the bozo, I'm just, I'm just taking a selfie video and he's just poking me in the nose. He's having some fun. Turn that video all the way up. 'cause I have a straight face just trying to do one of those little posts like me trying to live and my son bothering me. Videos <laugh>. He's just poking me, sticking his fa his foot on my forehead. And you just hear, and I just, I break and I'm like, oh, Zoe, you just hear <laugh> off the screen. The dude was like two years old and he's just like,
Speaker 1 00:32:54 Funny's funny. The funny is funny. It's a funny noise. That's, it's something very human about it. We all do it.
Speaker 2 00:33:00 Oh man. I can't wait. I'm gonna get you this video so you have it. It's one of my favorite, one of my favorite bozo videos. Just a he's fucking evil laugh. But, um, just so you know, like my kid is a very picky eater. Yeah. Like we were talking about it earlier, how like texture is a big thing. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> with eating. Like Za loves cuties, but he's always peeling up like, oh, little, little white. The white stuff. Yeah. Yeah. He's just like, mm, don't like that. Don't like that. I'm like, where the fuck do you get all this shit? I look at this <laugh>, there's no more cuties. There's just all this fucking orange hair. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> where you get all this. And like, and he is not a big meat eater. Yeah. I made fried chicken the other day. This fool took down a full, a full like thigh.
Speaker 1 00:33:42 Like a bird.
Speaker 2 00:33:43 Like, he's just like a few birds <laugh>, you know, like unless chickens are coming with four legs now. <laugh>, he took down a few different birds, but he's like, I have some more chicken. I'm like, um, I'm about to cut you off, bro. <laugh>
Speaker 1 00:33:57 Like, I think you, you think you've had
Speaker 2 00:33:58 Enough, sir? Yeah. I'm like, like, why don't you drink some water and take a, we're gonna walk around the block together. He is like, we're gonna take a little walk. I don't think he should be eating, but he fucking loves it. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> so often he is asking for daddy's chicken. He is like, oh, dad's chicken. This is dad's chicken. Glad I got my own recipe now. Dad's chicken, just fried chicken with honey. So
Speaker 1 00:34:18 <laugh>. That sounds great. Yo,
Speaker 2 00:34:19 Bro,
Speaker 1 00:34:20 I'm gonna show up next time. Double
Speaker 2 00:34:21 Fried chicken some honey. Ooh. Ooh. That you wanna know the, the trick is mm-hmm. <affirmative>. It's a funny trick. Um, my, my yolk batter that I, I use soak it in. I season it, season that mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I actually season everything. I season the flour, I season that shapes and then I fry double. But it's, uh, it's good.
Speaker 1 00:34:39 That sounds really good.
Speaker 2 00:34:40 Yeah. And then, uh, once it gets out, you just drizzle it with honey, shake it. You're all gravy. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:34:44 I'll be, yeah. Just text me. I'll be here next time.
Speaker 2 00:34:46 Great. You and o you can fucking, you'll murder you if you, if you one hand you put out there before him, he'll, you'll lose that hand. Nah, I,
Speaker 1 00:34:55 I would never impose.
Speaker 2 00:34:56 You're just, you'll reach and then you'll look away and you, as you go to bite that chicken, you'll see a little, little, little ozo mouth. Just like, ah. But yeah, he, he loves that chicken. Like, that's, that's one of one of the things that he is all about. And
Speaker 1 00:35:11 I'm trying, yeah. One of like, the, like the go-to fat, I did it two nights ago, is just a, a rotisserie chicken from Ralph's or V's or whatever. That's one of your
Speaker 2 00:35:18 Go-to's as well.
Speaker 1 00:35:19 Oh yeah. Rotisserie chicken. And they'll like a quick, like quick, you know, steam veggie fruit. Ouch. The, the dudes will like, they'll eat raw broccoli and raw carrots, which is shocking to me. What the fuck? Fuck. It's like nothing. I would like, they both like broccoli a lot, which is,
Speaker 2 00:35:32 Bro,
Speaker 1 00:35:33 I, um,
Speaker 2 00:35:34 I got a bri like you got the bribery that goes on. Mm-hmm. And like, he's about to figure out the empty promises that these guys, because I'm like, alright, we got ice creams, cookies and cake. If you eat your string beans. He's like, oh. He sits there, he shoves them down and like, you know, he gets a one Oreo <laugh>. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:35:53 I, uh, I, I always try to like, sneak veggies in, like I'll put peas or spinach in like their mac and cheese and sometimes they go for it. But like, <laugh>, another time I was doing it, like literally was like chewing in like pee pee pee. Like setting him aside. <laugh> like, alright, dude, not a pee day. I get it.
Speaker 2 00:36:09 Oh yeah. I was, doesn't fall for that shit anymore. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, his uh, mac and cheese was just like off color a little bit. 'cause like I grounded some kale.
Speaker 1 00:36:17 Oh yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:36:18 And I was like, oh yeah, I can just dry out some kale. Ground it up in there. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And it was like a little off orange and he is like, pushed the whole plate away. He's like, I don't like it. I'm like, you haven't even tasted it. It's like, nah, it looks funny. I'm like, what's funny about it? It tell you a joke. What the fuck? <laugh>?
Speaker 1 00:36:32 It looks funny. He's
Speaker 2 00:36:32 Got a fucking tight five. Look.
Speaker 1 00:36:34 I trust it. Yeah. He's just,
Speaker 2 00:36:35 He, he was not having it. I'm, it's harder as they get older, it's very, very hard to like, pull the wool over him. Oh yeah. Only if I switch a bribery. Only,
Speaker 1 00:36:43 The only thing that like will work every time is that if I'm eating something by myself, they will want 100% want a bike of whatever. Even if it's something they just said no to. If I'm eating the same thing by myself, bite, please. That's fine. Yeah, sure. That, that, I've done that trick a couple of times where I've like, even if I've eaten dinner, I'm not hungry. Like I'll put a plate down and sit and they'll start asking for bites. Like, what you eating? You? Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:37:07 What you got over there? That's
Speaker 1 00:37:09 The same thing. Jailhouse thing on your plate. But it's on mine. <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:37:12 Yo man, that's prison. Yes.
Speaker 1 00:37:14 <laugh>. Hey, if they're eating their, they're eating their rice and shit. Fine.
Speaker 2 00:37:19 Ben Miller, cell block 43 <laugh>. Miro 44 <laugh>
Speaker 1 00:37:26 Me, I mean, holding his pocket around the planet. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:37:30 So like, I know that Oza puts off the oranges, but does your kid have like particulars? Like, I know like every kid out there has like these little particulars that about their diet, like mm-hmm. <affirmative>, you know, he has to, uh, Oza doesn't like his food touching at all. Yeah. Once a Mac and cheese hits a, uh, hits a broccoli Broccoli's ruined, wants a strawberry. He's touching an apple now. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> for that one. He's, I started doing mixed fruit and he just had to deal with it. Yeah. But now he'll like, pull all the oranges out, eat them individually, and then line up his apples and then eat it his leisure. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> like fucking fancy ass, bougie ass little bitch. They,
Speaker 1 00:38:05 Um, no, like the younger one is special. Will just get it all, all gross together. Just like, yeah. Like a trough. There's a, but he'll, but also he'll be like the little skin on the, like the little banana extra bits. Yeah. Like that stuff. He can't stand. So you, he'll hand it to me. Like <laugh>, like all
Speaker 2 00:38:24 That's, I talked about this before about kids being disgusting. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, but something that they're so disgusted by the fact that they'll just like, here hold this. I'll be like, you don't want it. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:38:34 Why the fuck would I want it? That's something we'd work on is like, like going to the trash can <laugh>, like, come on man. Like,
Speaker 2 00:38:39 Oof. Shannon got pranked today. Uhoh, I got one of those texts. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Hey, can we please make sure that we don't put liquids in the trash? I'm like, yeah. And like, I kept my cool mm-hmm. <affirmative>, because I'm like,
Speaker 1 00:38:54 I don't, I don't do that.
Speaker 2 00:38:54 I've been on this planet a long time.
Speaker 1 00:38:56 I take Yeah. <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:38:58 She's like, yeah, maybe it was Ozo. Maybe we have to have a, I'm like, she corrected herself real quick. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, like, she saw the bubbles pop up and disappear. She's like, Ooh,
Speaker 1 00:39:05 <laugh>. She was like, maybe it was Ozo. <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:39:07 I don't know. I don't know. But like, she had to clean, like she's, she said she, uh, she picked up the trash mm-hmm. <affirmative> to take it. And like, the little side started to rip and then like, uh, just a droop poured out the side. Ooh. And there was like all this liquid leading and she was like, and I'm like, damn, that sucks.
Speaker 1 00:39:25 Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:39:26 So as he clean it up, <laugh>, I, I felt so bad for her man. Like, I just can't imagine just like, okay. You know, get the day started. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, lemme just take out the trash. And dishes are good. I'm just like trash, trash everywhere.
Speaker 1 00:39:40 Trash water. Ugh. The worst
Speaker 2 00:39:42 Trash water. Like in my top five, I think trash water's sitting there at number three next to like wet bandaid.
Speaker 1 00:39:52 Ooh. Yeah. Wet band-aid's a bad one. So
Speaker 2 00:39:53 This is, if you're listening to this and you're like, wet bandaid, that means you're rich <laugh>. Alright. I went to the public pool growing up. <laugh> wet Band-aid was the thi like, ugh.
Speaker 1 00:40:03 Just like floating stuck to side. Oh my God. How did it get there? Why didn't nobody pick it up? Who the
Speaker 2 00:40:08 Fuck came in here to something wet and said, Ooh, a bandaid.
Speaker 1 00:40:12 <laugh>
Speaker 2 00:40:13 Disgusting. Uh uh. What about like wet toilet? Have you ever stepped on like wet toilet paper or wet, uh, paper towel?
Speaker 1 00:40:20 Uh, no. Thankfully it sounds awful. I'm
Speaker 2 00:40:22 Looking at your face. You know how gross it is. I wear shoes
Speaker 1 00:40:24 In the house for, because I've stepped on gross things and I don't like it.
Speaker 2 00:40:28 See, I'm flatfooted and it's just something like, I got a Roomba. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, uh, that's on a timer because like, I don't want shoes in the house. Oh yeah. Like, I don't want shoes in the house. I
Speaker 1 00:40:36 Got, they're, I don't, I mean, I don't wear like, combat boots. It's Crocs. Oh no, I get that. Not barely a pair of shoes. Yeah. But like
Speaker 2 00:40:41 With the, the people who are normally in the house, like when guests come in, they got shoes. I don't mind that. Like, that's fine. But I'm like, when we come in the house, shoes, no shoes. Stay off. I'm flat-footed. That means every time I step on something, I don't have these magical arches that protect my feet. I feel
Speaker 1 00:40:58 It all
Speaker 2 00:40:58 <laugh>. I feel it all. And it's fucking disgusting. But I have, you know, got them Nigerian feet too. So it's like,
Speaker 1 00:41:06 No, I can, a layer
Speaker 2 00:41:07 Of concrete on the bottom.
Speaker 1 00:41:09 I could tiptoe like, uh, you know, like old drag queen on Saturday night. Like my, my toes are up there buddy. Get them, get them toes dusty. <affirmative> get sachet with these toes. <laugh> all the way
Speaker 2 00:41:19 Away. Yeah. Anyway, um, yes. I, I'm glad. Thank you. I wanted to talk to you about some of the, uh, the food things that you're going through with your kids. 'cause we're both in these, like transitional periods. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, real quick before we go move on. You said rotisserie chicken, if you're growing outta the house mm-hmm. <affirmative>, if you're like, okay, breakfast, like, what is that? Go-to first meal of the day? Like, you never fail. You know, they're gonna eat it. Go, uh,
Speaker 1 00:41:48 Eggs, toast some fruit. Okay. Yeah, because like Miles will usually eat all, every single egg in the house. Miro takes a couple bites. They both will, you know, one or both will eat the toast and they both love fruit, so. Okay. That's pretty much a ham or, or a waffle or something like that. Like waffle
Speaker 2 00:42:02 Pancake for me. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I stopped making waffles and pancakes and I started getting like the Eggo toasted. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:42:08 I do like the whole wheat jazz. Yeah. You know, at least I give it whole wheat.
Speaker 2 00:42:11 Oh, you're fancy. I
Speaker 1 00:42:12 Mean, I, you know, that's it. That's literally it. It's whole wheat. That's, that's a fancy,
Speaker 2 00:42:16 I apologize, za if you listen to this in 20 years, I'm sorry for the diabetes. <laugh>. My bad. Um, now like, uh, he's always asking for eggs, but he rarely eats them. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> like, can I have an egg? I'm like, yeah. And you'll like take a little bite and be like, I'm good.
Speaker 1 00:42:30 Is he, uh, like miles at the age, like, if he catches me making eggs, he's like, I wanna help. I'm like, oh fine.
Speaker 2 00:42:35 Now he's past that. Thank God.
Speaker 1 00:42:37 <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:42:38 Oh man. It's like too
Speaker 1 00:42:39 Late. It hard. You can't help anymore. 'cause it's like,
Speaker 2 00:42:41 You can't say no, but it just turns into a fucking war zone. Well, it just like,
Speaker 1 00:42:44 Yeah. It's like, I don't wanna be like a judge wanna make eggs, man. I don't want, I don't wanna teach you how to crack eggs and make sure you don't fork egg all over the fucking kitchen. Dude. It's just, but I mean, I, I'll do it every time. I just, well, not every time, but other times I be like, no, no, I'm already done. It's all done. It's all cooked. Go sit down.
Speaker 2 00:43:00 It was like a year of that where he'll see me pull the eggs outta face, let me help you. And he just runs it into the laundry room. Pulls out the ladder. Oh yeah. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> hitting the walls, Dening up the corners. <laugh> trying to get up on the, he pulls like the little step stool out. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> gets an egg, smashes it on the counter. I'm like, you know, that's not helping. Yeah. Just
Speaker 1 00:43:19 Like, like that. Yeah. Just
Speaker 2 00:43:21 Smash. I'm like, cool. I, I get to like, make this fucking eggs with a side of shell. Yeah. <laugh>. Like, that's, that's just what I'm eating that morning. <laugh>. I was like, great. Ozo. Do you like it? Yeah. Yum. <laugh>, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch. Yeah. But anyway, we're gonna take a quick break and I, we're gonna be back with our game with Bennett. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> and I we're playing. Would you rather Ooh. New game coming in. We'll be right back with more papa. Don't preach. And we're back. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for sticking around this entire podcast. We enjoy you. We love you. Thank you so much. We have a game to end off this segment call. Would you rather,
Speaker 1 00:44:25 Do we have a sound effect? Uh,
Speaker 2 00:44:26 You know what, here we go.
Speaker 1 00:44:27 Something. We got something. Hey,
Speaker 2 00:44:30 I know it's an oldie but a
Speaker 1 00:44:31 Goodie. It's a solid. We're
Speaker 2 00:44:32 Gonna get a new sound effect. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. I know. I mean, we can't afford it, but we'll get a new one. We'll,
Speaker 1 00:44:37 We'll illegally download a new sound effect, folks.
Speaker 2 00:44:40 No, you
Speaker 1 00:44:41 Would, you wouldn't download a sound effect. <laugh>
Speaker 2 00:44:44 Remember when like downloading was a thing and these bans are like, you're robbing us. And do you
Speaker 1 00:44:48 Remember like when we used to do it at school, like on school computers? Fuck yeah. <laugh>, <laugh>. This felony after felony.
Speaker 2 00:44:55 Dude,
Speaker 1 00:44:56 I remember. Thanks Metallica.
Speaker 2 00:44:57 I remember like stealing CDs and burning like mixes for people at school.
Speaker 1 00:45:02 The computer teachers always had giant stacks of CDs. I
Speaker 2 00:45:04 Was just like, fuck. Just like burning Z. Yeah, man. I can get you a 30 stack right now, bro. Come on now.
Speaker 1 00:45:09 Those were the days. Anyway.
Speaker 2 00:45:11 We're playing a game called, would You Rather, we're gonna find out a little bit about each other since we're polar opposites, but very good friends. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. I'm gonna see where Bennet is on this spectrum. So first one I'm gonna ask you, Bennett, would you rather be able to fly only at the walking speed or teleport to places that you've already visited so you can teleport to places that you've already been? Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 00:45:33 <affirmative>. Like in and out.
Speaker 2 00:45:34 Yes. Like in and out <laugh>. Or you can be able to fly, fly
Speaker 1 00:45:39 At walking speed. Add walking speed. I, I got a long stride. I could walk pretty fast. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. I got, I mean, I, I can't imagine I'd be a very good flyer. I imagine I'm gonna hurt myself fast. <laugh>, the only thing with teleporting is the earth is spinning. So you gotta be very precise through teleportation. Very true. Same thing with time travel. If we're getting down to the nitty gritty, that's one of the biggest flaws in the time travel theory. Is that like, what's, what's the chance of the earth in the same position all those years when you travel in time?
Speaker 2 00:46:07 Well, that's gonna be coming up on one of our questions.
Speaker 1 00:46:09 <laugh>. <laugh>. So I'm gonna say tra uh, teleport, because I think it'd be fun to, like, I think I'm gonna go to the Grand Canyon and just go boop. And then I'll be in the Grand Canyon. Like, you know what I want? I want a, like a, a a a un, like a Chicago style deep dish pizza,
Speaker 2 00:46:21 You know? Boop. That's, you know, I was gonna say fly. Of
Speaker 1 00:46:25 Course all of mine is food related, but yes. <laugh> know what I want. It's crawfish.
Speaker 2 00:46:29 I was gonna say, I was gonna say fly. Yuck. Crawfish is terrible. Shrimp.
Speaker 1 00:46:34 Uh, I mean, you're,
Speaker 2 00:46:35 It's terrible shrimp.
Speaker 1 00:46:36 You're like, everyone's entitled to an opinion is a free country. You're just wrong.
Speaker 2 00:46:40 I know.
Speaker 1 00:46:41 You're just wrong.
Speaker 2 00:46:42 I'm not gonna argue. I'm not gonna argue with some fucking Cajun fucking, no, you can't gambit over here. I'm not gonna fucking have this argument with you. You're biased.
Speaker 1 00:46:49 No, I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna laze lay bon thele and let this keep rolling <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:46:55 Now, now, one thing I'll say in my defense is I don't like when places say lobster bits and it's crawfish.
Speaker 1 00:47:04 Um, I haven't come across that. It's a
Speaker 2 00:47:06 Very different, very popular Japanese thing of doing it. Oh, yeah.
Speaker 1 00:47:09 Yeah. They'll be
Speaker 2 00:47:09 Like, oh, lobster popcorn, and it's fucking crawfish. Mm.
Speaker 1 00:47:12 Yeah. They're different things. Like, yeah. Yeah. Different. No, the thing is the crawfish, like, oh, here comes here we go, here
Speaker 2 00:47:20 We go. Here we go. Here we go. Oh, I do say, here we go. Here we go. I do say something about,
Speaker 1 00:47:23 It's like one of the, one of the earlier questions like we didn't tackle was like, what was our last, our fa you know, best meal? Favorite meal? Like, yes. Boiled crawfish. Like a crawfish boil with like potatoes and sausage and corn. No. And all that shit. Like, made by someone's dad who's been doing it for three decades.
Speaker 2 00:47:39 I've been to a crawfish boil at your old place. Oh,
Speaker 1 00:47:42 Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:47:43 Like I, I, I think I came a little bit late. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. I came a little bit late. That was the first time I did enjoy crawfish. Yeah. I taught, I came there talking shit about crawfish, and I added, I'm like, all right, because
Speaker 1 00:47:55 They're gross. It's like, you know, they're bottom feeders. They're, you know, they're yucky. They're mud bugs. They, they, you know, they're all those things. But man, if you fucking add a bunch of spices and lemon <laugh>, they make a dip on the side to put them tails in. I'll eat until I'm hurting. Yep. Okay. Until I'm just swollen like a giant crawfish <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:48:14 And then I get to eat
Speaker 1 00:48:15 It and my arms are stuck. Like my hands are stuck like this. Yeah. See,
Speaker 2 00:48:18 <laugh>, this is a podcast. Now we can see your hands. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. All
Speaker 1 00:48:21 I did Crawfish hands. Okay.
Speaker 4 00:48:23 <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:48:25 All right. Well, I think I would, um, I think, you know what, I'm gonna teleport too. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, because I, I was thinking about flying and then I know how I walk and I know that there's a bunch of people listening to this that know me. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I'm a slow walker. Yeah. I'm the type of guy that if you're not paying attention, I'm like 15, 20, 30, 50, 60 feet behind, like staring up in the sky,
Speaker 1 00:48:47 <laugh>. And it's another thing. It's like, Hey guys, check it out. I can fly like
Speaker 4 00:48:51 <laugh>.
Speaker 1 00:48:53 Like I, I mean, hey, it's cool. I guess
Speaker 2 00:48:55 Like, that's not flying. That's, that's floating, bro. That's not flying.
Speaker 1 00:48:57 You can barely, like, I could, I think I could walk faster than you can fly <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:49:01 If I saw someone flying the way I would fly mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I'd just be like, yo, man, we gotta a race. I, that's
Speaker 1 00:49:07 Cool. I guess <laugh>, you, you, you could have chose teleportation. Yeah. God damnit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:49:13 Still takes me an hour to and a half to get to the valley. Yeah. I'll fly right over there.
Speaker 1 00:49:17 Fucking six miles an hour rain. Exactly. Clocking it. <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:49:23 Alright. I'll teleport, I'll teleport. All right, Ben, what's our next one?
Speaker 1 00:49:26 One, uh, let's see. Would you rather fart every time you laugh or every, or your laugh? Sounds like a fart.
Speaker 2 00:49:34 Oh,
Speaker 1 00:49:34 Shit. So you fart every time you laugh. Would've been a lot of farts today. <laugh>. Or every time you laugh, it sounds like a fart, which I mean, would make you just fart more.
Speaker 2 00:49:43 Well, shit, I'm laughing right now and I'm thinking if I was farting this entire time, how uncomfortable I would make the people around me. But now I'm around you two who think farts are very funny. It might make me the bell of the ball. And then I think, what if it were to smell and I was just like this stinky ass person? Then I couldn't be giggling. And now lastly, I think like if I was giggling and I was just like,
Speaker 1 00:50:09 And here I am just laughing, farting outta my mouth. <laugh>,
Speaker 2 00:50:14 We'd literally,
Speaker 1 00:50:15 We would die <laugh>, like perpetual farting laughter machine I think would kill us.
Speaker 4 00:50:21 <laugh>,
Speaker 2 00:50:23 This is the most immature thing we've ever done on this podcast. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. I just couldn't imagine. Just like somebody telling me you're joking instead of a ha ha going <laugh>. Okay. I
Speaker 1 00:50:39 Obviously fart when you laugh. Right. I think I'd
Speaker 2 00:50:41 Have to fart when I laugh. Yeah. Because
Speaker 1 00:50:42 Imagine like, you're at like a standup show. Like you couldn't, you could never see live comedy. I would never. 'cause you know that. They'd be, you'd be roasted the fart laugh guy. Yo.
Speaker 2 00:50:50 Oh my God. If I was
Speaker 1 00:50:51 Who's farting? And you know, <laugh>, it's like, it's, oh God, I gotta leave <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:50:56 Oh, sorry. I can't go to the comedy show. You know about my condition. <laugh>. Okay. So we solved that one Fart when we laugh, right? Mm. Yeah. You'll no. Or
Speaker 1 00:51:07 Laugh when you fart. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:51:08 Laugh when you fart. The
Speaker 1 00:51:09 Fart sounds when you laugh. Yeah. <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:51:11 Alright, here's one I got for you. Would you rather have the power and visibility, but unable to interact with anyone around you? Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, like,
Speaker 1 00:51:18 Like I am now. Yes.
Speaker 2 00:51:20 <laugh>. Or would you rather be able to read minds but never be able to turn it off? Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. I believe there's a movie about that. Like what women want. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Yep. Just never turn it off. Yeah. Alright.
Speaker 1 00:51:31 So whatever happened to that guy? Oh,
Speaker 2 00:51:32 Bell Gibson. I think he's, uh, doing the Greenpeace. <laugh>. I think he's, think he's, I think he has his fucking trip to Israel. His birthright. <laugh>.
Speaker 1 00:51:44 That's, that's the one. Okay.
Speaker 2 00:51:46 Alright, moving on. Um, leave it in plain. Leave it in <laugh>. Alright. So, yeah. Um, which one?
Speaker 1 00:51:55 Invisible. But can't talk. I mean, I think I'd go full creep around and just creep around everywhere and not talk to anybody.
Speaker 2 00:52:01 Jesus Christ. We put that question in for profiling
Speaker 1 00:52:04 Purposes. Wait, wait, what was the other one? <laugh>. <laugh>. I didn't even think about it. No, the other one, like, reading minds all the time. Sounds horrible. Yeah, it's, what's that? Is it six? What's one with, uh, Bruce Willis. He's a superhero and he is walking around the train station. He is hearing all the bad shit in people's heads. It's a unbreakable, right?
Speaker 2 00:52:19 Unbreakable wait. It's like, wait, no. He, he could read minds. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:52:23 That's how we found out. That's he No, no. He would sense
Speaker 2 00:52:25 It. Yeah,
Speaker 1 00:52:25 Exactly.
Speaker 2 00:52:26 He like, yeah,
Speaker 1 00:52:26 He's sensing, but like, imagine that like, but also it's like with everyone, honestly, like, it's probably terrible also a lot of people on their phones all the time. So it's like, you probably get a lot of static just like TikTok static.
Speaker 2 00:52:37 I was about to say, like, I don't think there's a lot of things going up in people's minds these days. <laugh>. Like, it was like in the nineties, maybe I wanna shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1 00:52:44 Just be
Speaker 2 00:52:44 Silent everywhere. Silent everywhere. But right now that's just like, you're like, oh yeah, I could read people's minds and you just walk out and there's nothing <laugh>. Yeah. I like that. I like that. Yeah. I like that. Dumb dumb. Ooh, she's hot. Dumb. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> dumb. Are we still friends? Dumb
Speaker 1 00:52:59 <laugh>. No. So I'll be invisible. Thank you. You'll
Speaker 2 00:53:01 Be invisible. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Okay. Now, if you were invisible, would you be fully clothed?
Speaker 1 00:53:08 No. Okay. I mean, I'd probably, it, depending on the weather, I'd probably a jacket and nothing else. Your because I, I actually, I get, I get get cold on top, but my bo yeah. I wear shorts all the time anyway, so.
Speaker 2 00:53:17 Yeah. I've never seen you in Pan. I saw you seen you in pants once. It was a big deal in the podcast. <laugh>.
Speaker 1 00:53:22 It was, yeah. Pants only even required <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:53:26 Can't get those calves through them pants. No. I
Speaker 1 00:53:28 Be, Hey, you joking, but <laugh> No,
Speaker 2 00:53:30 I've, we've talked about it here. They don't, yeah. They don't make pant legs for Bennett Miller. No.
Speaker 1 00:53:34 They don't make for calves whiter than thighs. No, no. That's
Speaker 2 00:53:37 What I'm getting you for Christmas. You're gonna be like, are these pants with zippers on the ankle? <laugh>? Yes, sir. Flare. Yeah. <laugh> bell bottoms.
Speaker 1 00:53:46 Our Gen GenCos would work too. We bring those back.
Speaker 2 00:53:51 Just
Speaker 1 00:53:52 Like enough denim for four pairs of pants on me. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:53:54 Perfect. Just wearing tubes. <laugh>.
Speaker 1 00:53:57 <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:53:58 Okay.
Speaker 1 00:53:59 Uh, this is one that we, uh, my friends and I came up with in college. <laugh>, uh, obviously for on maturity level. Uh, would you rather live in a house made of screaming babies or a house made of shit? Not living. It's sleep in. You don't have to live in it. That's unrealistic. You don't have to sleep in. You have to stay there for the night. It's a housely. The walls are screaming babies or the walls are dripping. Shit. Your bed, your bed is normal though. That is the caveat. <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:54:27 You know, I think I'm, so, here's my issue. I'm a type of dude that sleeps with a TV on. Sometimes I need like a calm or something to help me go to bed. And I can't do that if the babies are screaming mm-hmm. <affirmative>. But at the same time, if my walls are literally made of shit, you know, plugging the nose,
Speaker 1 00:54:48 It's like, do you think you get used to it after a while? Which one do you get used to faster is the question? Uh, for me personally, now that I am a father and I have the experience, as long as it's not my kids screaming, I could drown that shit out. Like, I get, even if it is my kid screaming, if another they're screaming about some bullshit, I could just b you know. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:55:04 I think I'm, yeah, I'm with you. I think I might go screaming babies like <laugh>. I think I might go, I'll tell you right now, I got a fucking family of screaming Owl babies outside my room. Mm-hmm. And yeah. Yeah. I am like, I want to, I wanna pick 'em off one by one, <laugh>. But I do wake up every morning, like, ah, refreshed. So I'm learning to drown it out. So yeah. I'm gonna go with screaming babies. 'cause you know what, another thing I don't think I can do is, you know, when I get outta bed in the middle of the night to get a snack or like stumble to the bathroom mm-hmm. <affirmative> and I put my hand on the wall to get's feet. Yeah. Yeah. And it's just covered in shit. <laugh>. I don't dunno if I can
Speaker 1 00:55:40 Do that. <laugh> just like baby face. Yeah. Baby
Speaker 2 00:55:43 Face. If I touch a baby's face and it's crying, I might sit there for a little, be like, oh, baby, you cry. Okay. I know you're not gonna stop crying. That's part of the deal. I'm just gonna go take a piss. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1 00:55:51 That's right. That's part of the deal. All
Speaker 2 00:55:52 Right. So yeah. Okay. I'm gonna go with Screaming Baby for 15.
Speaker 1 00:55:56 Yeah. I think that's my bet too. Scream
Speaker 2 00:55:57 Screaming, baby. All right, here's the one that I go for you. This one's hard. This one's gonna hit deep. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, would you rather be a stay at home dad? Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. Where your partner's making all the money you're comfortable? Or would you rather be the bed breadwinner, bringing home all the bacon stable. Well,
Speaker 1 00:56:14 As you know, I've, uh, been way more of one than the other. Yeah. <laugh> <laugh>. My wife is very good at a job and very accomplished. And I'm a snack man. <laugh>. So I think, uh, being the stay at home dad is something I've been comfortable with. I mean, I like working a bunch too, but, like,
Speaker 2 00:56:35 Unpopular opinion. Unpopular. Yeah.
Speaker 1 00:56:36 I don't know. Again, that time of work, I'll tell you that.
Speaker 2 00:56:38 I'll tell you unpopular opinion. That that's, to me, that's the motherfucking dream. <laugh>, like being a dad is something like, I, I've done so much shit in my life, but being a dad is the only thing I ever felt. I was good at <laugh>. Yeah. Like, I'm like, oh shit, I don't get paid for this. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, but I can fucking do this. I, I'm, if I was able to have like two or three more, start a little army, have little games, get all the lunches ready, cleaning up the house, making sure like everything is a well-oiled machine, have schedules lined up. That was my, what I was doing. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, fuck
Speaker 1 00:57:08 Yeah's me. Yeah. I think we're both, both, we're both the same here. We're very comfortable not making money. <laugh> staying home.
Speaker 2 00:57:13 Dads. I, the thing is like, I've been working since I was fucking like 13, 14. Like, me and my brothers and I sisters, we had jobs very, very young. Mm-hmm. And I've done that.
Speaker 1 00:57:21 Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:57:23 Not much to write home about <laugh>.
Speaker 1 00:57:24 I'll tell you. Had good jobs, had bad jobs. Yeah.
Speaker 2 00:57:27 I've had good jobs. I've had bad jobs. I've been a dad choosing fatherhood. <laugh>, like, I'll tell you right now, no brainer. I don't care. Like for all these men out there, I don't know who you are. If you need to like go to work, get away from your family, you need to feel accomplished and validated by going home, doing something and bringing back a check. Cool. That's for you. Nope, not me. I don't care. As long as I can get, like, I can get my stories mm-hmm. <affirmative> and I can buy my Nikes, I'm fine. I don't mind. Like Shannon coming home being like, what the fuck is this charge? I'll be like, oh, I'm sorry. I know I couldn't do that. <laugh>, I'm fine with that. I felt
Speaker 1 00:58:04 Like I needed three video games this month.
Speaker 2 00:58:06 I just actually was like, it's like, why would you get the regular version and the deluxe version? I
Speaker 1 00:58:12 Was having fun. I thought the extra outfits would be cute.
Speaker 2 00:58:15 I just, I thought it would be interesting. <laugh>. I, you know, I had to see the difference. I'll fine, fine. I'll return it. I'll return it. Jesus. How was work today? <laugh>.
Speaker 1 00:58:26 <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:58:28 That's what I'll, oh yeah. All right. Well, okay. Um,
Speaker 1 00:58:32 Uh, this is, uh, would you rather go to the past but can't return? Or would you rather go to the future but can't pick win? So would you rather be Doc Brown and, and back to future three or Captain America? Okay. <laugh>. Those are your two options. You're stuck. Are you or you're a man at a time? <laugh>.
Speaker 2 00:58:54 Oh, this one's very good. Um, shit. Go to the past, but never return or go to the, I would like to get, see where we end up, you know, but I don't want to end up at a situation where they're like, all right, cool. Blast, blast. Shuffle, shuffle. Magic. Magic. You're 45 minutes from now. <laugh>.
Speaker 1 00:59:14 Yeah. Our worst is just like, you're a steaming crater. And it's like, God, I gotta face mutants now. Man.
Speaker 2 00:59:20 I fucking overshot it. <laugh>. I can't,
Speaker 1 00:59:22 I could be, I could be going to Woodstock instead of fighting mutants for oil. God damnit.
Speaker 2 00:59:27 But I think about it now, like, let's say I was able to go back to like, you know, 99 before the big lottery win. I can get the numbers in. I can't picture my life without internet <laugh>.
Speaker 1 00:59:40 Like, knowing that is true. Knowing what? Having the vastness of knowledge at your hands, even from like, getting
Speaker 2 00:59:45 Magic, getting into an argument with a coworker about like, who wa like, hey, what's the biggest tower in New York? And someone's like, no. Technically it's the state's building. And you're like, no, that's wrong. And not being able to prove it right then and there. I just have to listen to this jackass in front of me. Yeah.
Speaker 1 01:00:02 Oh, my dad works for Nintendo <laugh>. He says that this is gonna happen. <laugh>. Or even like, Hey look, I wanna go see a movie. Where do you start? What? I gotta find a newspaper or I gotta drive the fucking movie theater. And look at the times. Like a goddamn caveman, <laugh> or call movie phone, which was the, like that cutting edge technology. And listen to every single time, every, for every single movie. Hey,
Speaker 2 01:00:24 You remember that actor? That one guy, that one guy from the movie with the volcano? No, no. That's the other guy. He was Morgan Freeman. He was in the tornado movie. Uh,
Speaker 1 01:00:32 Ben Affleck. No,
Speaker 2 01:00:33 No, the other guy. Imagine that for
Speaker 1 01:00:36 Hours. And that's it. Forever. Ob forever. Yeah. What did we do man? What did we do?
Speaker 2 01:00:40 Oh man. Like,
Speaker 1 01:00:41 This is like getting places, like having to read a map.
Speaker 2 01:00:44 You know what? I think I'm gonna go to the future.
Speaker 1 01:00:46 Yeah.
Speaker 2 01:00:47 I think I'm gonna go to the future. I if just going over that annoyed me so much that I think I'm gonna go to the future.
Speaker 1 01:00:54 Well tell hi Lord Elon Musk. I said, hello, <laugh>
Speaker 2 01:00:57 Lord Musk. Yeah.
Speaker 1 01:00:58 Lord Musk. You
Speaker 2 01:00:59 Know, Lord Musk <laugh>. Jesus Christ. That bummed me out. <laugh>.
Speaker 1 01:01:05 No, I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna go back to a time where, uh, wearing shorts, uh, all day long is acceptable. So probably like the 1980s
Speaker 2 01:01:12 Fucking a just justice studio. Literally.
Speaker 1 01:01:15 Like, that's the first thing that comes to my head. It's like if I go to the thirties, like I get to wear a hat all the time in like a suit. God damnit, I don't wanna do that.
Speaker 2 01:01:22 Like, I'm gonna say this right now, and this might be offensive. I don't really give a fuck. But I think it's such like a stupid ass white girl thing to say to me. And it's happened like all through high school, all through college. Like, um, I really think I belong in the thirties. Like, oh, do you think it would be great to grow up in the fifties or the twenties? I'm like, bitch, who do you think you're talking to? Yeah.
Speaker 1 01:01:40 Yeah. I, I fully aware that like, this is this. I've got, I've got time traveler privilege going on <laugh>. I am aware of this. Yeah. I,
Speaker 2 01:01:52 I'll tell you right now, trust me, if I ran into you in 1945, I'm crossing the motherfucking street, <laugh>. I'm just like, Uhuh not here.
Speaker 1 01:02:02 Isn't that guy wearing suspenders and shorts? Yeah. Just like, suspenders just like a child. Big
Speaker 2 01:02:07 Ass beard. Just like, oh, don't let get one of them beignets over here. That's
Speaker 1 01:02:12 He's wearing an undershirt in public. It's because that's, I don't, I'm wearing a t-shirt. I'm wearing a fucking buttons. Mm-hmm. How you dealing with buttons? Fuck that.
Speaker 2 01:02:19 No, I see Bennett, I'm, I know I'm in the wrong town. <laugh>. I'm getting the fuck outta there. Like, I made it, I made a mistake. Take me to the future. <laugh>.
Speaker 1 01:02:28 Oh, hey.
Speaker 2 01:02:31 I know him. Alright. Should we do a couple more, just a couple more round wrap? Yeah, we A couple more. We a couple. All right. Um, ooh, this was a good one. Would you rather, right now mm-hmm. <affirmative> everything at the age you are right now, would you rather lose your sight or lose your hearing?
Speaker 1 01:02:52 Uh, this is one that's, uh, it's scary. <laugh>. It's kind like either. 'cause I love, you know, I love my podcast. I love my music.
Speaker 2 01:03:00 Yes.
Speaker 1 01:03:00 I love farts.
Speaker 2 01:03:02 <laugh>.
Speaker 1 01:03:04 But seeing is, you know, seeing is believing. That
Speaker 2 01:03:07 Is true. That
Speaker 1 01:03:07 Is true. You know, can't see the Grand Canyon or like, you know, my wife and like pretty people and stuff. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> can't go to a museum. Gotcha.
Speaker 2 01:03:16 Gotcha.
Speaker 1 01:03:17 Be like, Hey, what's that painting look like? But the thing is like, I'm gonna go with
Speaker 2 01:03:23 Hmm. Hmm. That's tough.
Speaker 1 01:03:25 It is tough. I also, I'm Columbia as fuck, man. I, I gotta go, I gotta go hearing because like, gotta go hearing because I'm gonna kill myself within 48 hours if I, if I go blind. Yeah. I, I walk around and hurt myself and I've got both eyes and glasses,
Speaker 2 01:03:39 You know, like, there's so many baselines I hear and so much like fucking music I discover every fucking day. And just like, even like the sound of some of like my family and my friends and my loved ones voices sometimes put me in a better mood. And I'm gonna sound like a pretentious douche. I'm just not impressed with a lot of shit that I'm supposed to think is cool these days. <laugh> like, you know, like, I went to Japan and I'm like looking over this canyon and I'm like, meh. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> seen one canyon. You've seen 'em all seen one temple. You've seen 'em all. You just tell me how old it is, how beautiful it looks. I think I might, I think I might go without my sight. Yeah. I think I'm gonna keep my ear. We
Speaker 1 01:04:18 Can hang out. So we'd, you know, compensate. Oh my
Speaker 2 01:04:20 God. You could be my eyes. <laugh>. That could be your ears. <laugh>. We just figured it out. All right, last one. Last one. What is it? Let's see what we got here. The
Speaker 1 01:04:31 Last one is, would you rather be able to visit any fictional world? Mm-hmm. <affirmative> from books or movies or tv. Okay. Or would you rather in the real world bring, uh, one fictional character to be your companion? Oh,
Speaker 2 01:04:42 Shit. Like my lover.
Speaker 1 01:04:44 I don't know. Compan, first off, we got these questions from Jet. Like, we, we made some, but also chat. G B T. Oh yeah. So we took, gave, gave us, we took
Speaker 2 01:04:51 Like five random questions that we created. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And then we took another five from chat, G B T. So Jet
Speaker 1 01:04:57 Chat, G B T wants to know if we want a fictional companion.
Speaker 2 01:04:59 This Yeah. This was a chat G B T question. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 01:05:02 <affirmative> or if we could go live in a fictional world.
Speaker 2 01:05:05 Hmm. So here's the question. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, when they say companion, what does that tell you? Like a best friend, a servant. What does a companion
Speaker 1 01:05:13 Do? I really thought, like, uh,
Speaker 2 01:05:16 I heard companion. I thought it was just somebody's gonna do things. Everything you guys tell this person to do, they're gonna do
Speaker 1 01:05:20 I thought like a Pokemon, like <laugh>.
Speaker 2 01:05:22 Oh, you were thinking like, not a person Like <laugh>. Yeah,
Speaker 1 01:05:24 Like a Pikachu. Okay.
Speaker 5 01:05:25 <laugh>.
Speaker 1 01:05:26 You know, something like that. Like a sidekick. Well,
Speaker 2 01:05:29 Shit, I think that's your answer right there. Like,
Speaker 1 01:05:31 I mean, yeah, I think having a Pokemon would be fun, but like a human one that could like, you know, like a hit hitman chant or a,
Speaker 2 01:05:36 Oh, like a hitman. Ch that's like the worst Pokemon
Speaker 1 01:05:38 Hitman. I don't know. It's the one that thought that had limbs. Like,
Speaker 2 01:05:40 It's just like you get one with limbs that's just like kicking the shit out of everyone you meet.
Speaker 1 01:05:44 Obviously. I just have a snorlax. 'cause that's just me. It's just like I have another version of me hanging out.
Speaker 2 01:05:48 I would get a charizard for fucking sure. Yeah. It flies, it breathes fire. Fuck yeah, man. I'm going over to Ukraine, dropping bombs. <laugh>,
Speaker 5 01:05:57 <laugh>
Speaker 1 01:05:58 One Ard, please.
Speaker 2 01:06:00 I mean, it seems terrifying. I'm, but I feel like one bullet will take that.
Speaker 1 01:06:03 But Nextly, you can go and live in Pokemon World and you can go catch 'em all yourself. That is
Speaker 2 01:06:07 True. So would I rather be able to pull a companion out of a fictional world or go to a fictional world? God damn.
Speaker 1 01:06:17 So like, you have like a Hobbit hanging out with you. Like one of the, one of those funny hobbits hanging out. That'd be fun. <laugh>. Yeah. Or I go live in Hobbiton, which I'd be, I mean, I feel like I'm already the largest, the largest Hobbit in the world. I'll tell you
Speaker 2 01:06:28 Right now, I've watched, I'm a fan of lore of the Rings, but like, and this is my, like, a lot of my friends will be like, Obby, you're just a bully. You're just a bully and you just can't get around it. But like, every single hobbit I've ever seen, I just wanna kick the shit out of <laugh>. Like, I just fucking see, like fucking Sam Wise, just, I'm, he's just like, Obie Obie. How are you this morning? I'm just like, shut the fuck up, Sam. God damn. I'm be asking me about the morning. You
Speaker 1 01:06:51 Know, you're literally doing a podcast with a Hobbit
Speaker 2 01:06:54 <laugh>. Think you're mixing up Hobbit and trolls. God damn <laugh>
Speaker 5 01:07:02 Thinking
Speaker 2 01:07:03 Godda. I think your elf and dictionary is fucking wrong.
Speaker 1 01:07:07 Home bodies and all they wanna do is eat.
Speaker 2 01:07:10 That's
Speaker 1 01:07:10 True. And have a nice little garden. Bunch of, maybe have some pipe weeded. Not anymore, but the
Speaker 2 01:07:15 Veb. Yeah. Not anymore. Not anymore. God damn. You know what? I always thought, like the Harry Potter world would be kind of cool, but they just seem like they're always getting some bullshit.
Speaker 1 01:07:26 And there's like, they're racist too. There's like, yeah.
Speaker 2 01:07:29 The muggle is the M word. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> like that.
Speaker 1 01:07:32 They call people mud bloods. Yeah. Like, which is like mud blood
Speaker 2 01:07:35 Motherfucker. Yeah. I did, I did call our producer a mud blood before
Speaker 5 01:07:38 <laugh>.
Speaker 6 01:07:40 He did not like it. <laugh>.
Speaker 2 01:07:44 That's it. If
Speaker 6 01:07:44 You guys hear some yell in the background,
Speaker 2 01:07:46 Is because
Speaker 6 01:07:47 I didn't drop that racial slur, uh,
Speaker 2 01:07:49 My blood on a producer, and I'll say it right now, it
Speaker 1 01:07:51 Hurts in any universe. I,
Speaker 6 01:07:53 I apologize. I I did not, you know, I was
Speaker 2 01:07:55 Angry. You
Speaker 6 01:07:56 Know, I, I said some things I didn't, I didn't need to say I, this
Speaker 2 01:07:59 Camera, camera
Speaker 6 01:08:00 Two. Um, yeah.
Speaker 1 01:08:02 Uh,
Speaker 6 01:08:03 You know, recently I said some words that
Speaker 2 01:08:05 I'd like to apologize for. You know, I,
Speaker 6 01:08:08 I realized that some of these dirty mud bloods have some Oh
Speaker 2 01:08:12 Yeah. I did it again. I did it
Speaker 1 01:08:13 Again. <laugh>. I understand you want Wi Wizarding racial purity. Yeah.
Speaker 2 01:08:19 But, but
Speaker 1 01:08:19 I don't think you can carry it over your everyday life.
Speaker 2 01:08:21 Yeah. You know what? I'm gonna slowly Homer Simpson into the hedge from the wizarding world of, uh, the fucking Kuku Klux plotter. <laugh>. Um, that's my bad <laugh>. I, I, I'm trying to think like, you know what it is. You know what I think I would do? I think I would have the genie from Aladdin as a companion. That's
Speaker 1 01:08:44 A good one.
Speaker 2 01:08:45 I think that's what I would do. I obviously, there's discussion if I get three wishes or if he's just a homie, because I'll let you know, Robin Williams, Aladdin did seem very impressionable. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, he did scam him a couple times. Get a few things. Like, I'm not trying to, he's gonna be my companion. So maybe like, I could teach him some, some things and we can get some stuff done.
Speaker 1 01:09:05 You can also make him go away too, right? Because I think Robin Williams would be a lot. Yeah.
Speaker 2 01:09:09 I mean,
Speaker 1 01:09:10 One all the time.
Speaker 2 01:09:11 I, I can handle a lot. Like my fucking kid is basically Rob
Speaker 1 01:09:15 Williams. Man. <laugh>,
Speaker 2 01:09:17 Look what I can do. Look what I can do. <laugh> fucking anybody. You know who this guy, this is the roadblocks guy. Watch. I'm like, oh my God. Turn it off.
Speaker 1 01:09:26 <laugh> <laugh>. At least you get wishes out of the blue deal.
Speaker 2 01:09:29 Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. I, so yeah, that's what I, you know what I do? I would have Robin Williams Genie be my companion. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 1 01:09:36 <affirmative> and I would go live, uh, with Harry Potter. Okay.
Speaker 2 01:09:42 <laugh>, you better in the forties. You guys heard it. Now wonder why I'm crossing the street? You heard it right now.
Speaker 1 01:09:51 Oh, hey, Obie <laugh>. Look at this magic trick I learned. So
Speaker 2 01:09:56 Get him. Osis. <laugh>.
Speaker 2 01:10:00 Oh my God. So ladies, gentlemen, you heard it first. Bennett is gonna live with the rest of the clan in, uh, Dumbledore. I think that's what it is. I have no idea. But thank you so much for sticking around with us. Um, big shout out to our producer, Blaine. Pierre Bennett, always a pleasure. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> great. Great to see you, hear from you. Be with you. Uh, big shout out to everybody. D n a does our music. Aaron Mossa does our music. We love it here. We love everyone. Thank you so much for supporting us. This is Papa. Don't preach and we'll be back next week.
Speaker 1 01:10:32 I hope so.
Speaker 2 01:10:33 I hope so. We're hanging on by a thread. Y'all.
Speaker 1 01:10:36 <laugh> <laugh>.
