Sex & Guns: Family Life 101

Speaker 1 00:00:33 And we're back. Hey, how's it going? I'm chilling, Benon. How you doing? Uh, not bad right now. We were just talking. Uh, your back's bothering you, huh? Yeah, I'm in a lot of pain. I'm in a lot of pain. Hey everybody. Welcome to Papa. Don't preach. Doctor says, I need a bamy, <laugh>, <laugh>. The amount of times I've said that, oh my God. Yeah. I, um, I, it's always one of those things, like the older you get when things start to hurt, usually like, you know, you just roll right through white knuckle it. You're like, ah, I'll get over it. And that's how I've kind of been like, my back started hurting. I'm like, it's gonna go away. I've had like, back pain before and that was like on Saturday. And then Sunday came around and Monday came around. Then Tuesday came around, then Wednesday came around. Speaker 1 00:01:12 I'm like, you know what? I better get this thing looked at <laugh> and yeah, I am. Uh, I might not even go to work tomorrow, man. Like driving hurts. Ooh. Yeah, I've been there. Yeah, I've been there. It sucks. I, uh, it's fucking awful. So much so that, like we were talking about what games you play and so I play in Resident Evil exclusively playing the new resident before remake on my yoga ball. Oh. <laugh>. Cause sitting in my rocking chair for extended periods of time irritates my back. Oh my God. Uh, do you like the game? Oh, it's fucking great. I love those games. I love, uh, it's scary, man. Those games are scary. Yeah, I do. I love being a little <laugh> and then like, you know, but it's also fun using a shotgun of lo way, uh, Spanish possesses, uh, villagers. Oh. Speaker 1 00:01:51 So if you got, if you got that fantasy, hey, you got a game for you. Okay. <laugh>. Hey, they got, they got like a zombie, crazy alien virus. So don't, it's not like you're doing a bad thing. No. Are you just getting through levels of like a boss at the end of every level? Like, kinda like the, like they're like divided into chapters. I'm in chapter four right now, so I just, uh, I'm at the lake. Is it still like you have this path to go through? Is it like almost open worldy now? Nah, no. It's very, it's like, it's like the Game Cube remake of that game. It looks nicer. I dunno if there's more stuff, but, um, yeah, it's very like, you do this now, do this. Gotcha. You know, you could do that if you want to, but you, you need to do this. Speaker 1 00:02:25 It's not very open. Gotcha. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. Yeah. I'm so, but scary as hell. I, I'm, I'm not down with scary games. Like, I don't like <laugh>. I got an old house. I hear a lot of creeks and cracks and I, I just feel like I, I scare Shannon all the time. I jump outta corners and, you know, I'm teaching my k my kid to do that. And I have a feeling life is, I'm building up a lot of bad karma. <laugh>. Yeah. Well, it's one I can't play with both headphones in, cuz Natalie could definitely scare the shit on me anytime <laugh>. Like, it's not, it's like, it's a one, you have to have your little bit of your perimeter open. Okay. <laugh>. Speaker 1 00:02:56 Um, but yeah. Um, going off in some, uh, some headlines. I'm not sure if you heard, actually, I'm a hundred percent you heard? Yeah, don't actually, I actually woke up from a coma just this minute. Tell me what's going on. Oh, well, since you were away <laugh>. So, uh, 45. He's, uh, you got he's 86. Yeah, he's 45 is 86. You know, it's, it's crazy. We're both saying that he's not gonna go to jail. President Trump is not gonna go to jail. Like, I, I've been reading art. I mean like, like, let me be frank. I love this <laugh>. I love this. Look for him. My, I love, oh, I watched it like five or six times. <laugh>, there's a shot, him entering the courtroom and the, like, the bailiffs like, open the doors and don't open it for him. And it kind of leans back to me open his own door. Speaker 1 00:03:38 Don't know why. Hey, that's a real fucking petty in my opinion. But, oops man. I loved the, I loved it. I loved it. I love that. I love that. I love that. Like, looking at the charges, like he could get this or he could get prison time or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he's probably gonna get the blah blah, blah, blah, blah. Just cause he's a rich white man in America and that's usually how that shit works. But it ain't the only thing he's got going on. I think he's got election fraud in Georgia. He's got, he's got a couple other fires, you know, cooking that, uh, dude, it's, and not that much. I mean, you know, I saw, hey, I saw his weight in <laugh> <laugh>. He looking good. <laugh>. Yeah. I mean, it's fun. It, it's crazy that the, you know, this is what was getting him. Speaker 1 00:04:18 Like, there was nobody in the room was like, Hey man, you can't be paying off porn stars and shit. Like with election funds or whatever. Yeah, <laugh>, but like, whatever it was, it was just like, yo, these guys know who you are. Yeah. You know, like, don't, like, it sounds bad, but I feel like I'd be, I'd be such a better publicist for Trump, you know? I'm like, yo man, just leave it lean into this shit. I mean, lean, lean into it. You're dealing with like, the craziest narcissist maybe ever. I think that's where I shine. And also like a dummy. I think that's where I shine. Yeah. <laugh>. I think that's, I think, I think that's my sweet spot. Be good on that. I think that's where my consulting company comes off. I'm gonna reach out to the Trump camp. I'll probably stick me with Eric or some fucking low lever piece of shit. Speaker 1 00:05:00 Like, Tiffany's PR guy, <laugh>, like jumping off at like, like Trump being a idiot. Yeah. Um, cuz he is like, if you heard him talk, but this Ron DeSantis guy, he's just a flaming asshole, but he's like ex-military. Like people have said, like, I remember him from Meat being tortured. Guana obey. Guana Obey. Yeah. He did. Like, he's like, Guantanamo just like his evil as Trump, but evil or, yeah. He's the worst. He, uh, I know this is another stupid thing to be annoyed with, but I always thought he was like a, he had a screw loose. Like, who goes after Disneyland? Mm-hmm. <affirmative> like some of the things that he was saying during, uh, his governor's race, like these small little dog wiggles. So I'm like, this guy's a fucking evil piece of shit. But he's like smart about it. Yeah. Yeah. This is kind of, uh, but eating your pudding with your fingers. Speaker 1 00:05:50 I didn't see that, dude. That's some psycho level shit. That is, that's, that's the type of shit that you like I would say I've never done knowing. Well, I've done it in my closet alone when no one's around. But the fact that he was like on a plane where like, people were like, did that motherfucker just stick his finger in his pudding cup? That's, uh, that's unsettling. That's not my president. <laugh>. He may be one of those squid things from Resident Evil four. Oh yeah. <laugh> fucking watch out. Oh man. That'd be a, that'd be like a great, it'd be a sideways move. Honestly. I don't think it's a move up or a move down. That'd be a great prank to put fucking DeSantis in. Reon leave before <laugh>. You just open it up, be like, oh, I'll skin it up. Yeah. I'd be scared. Speaker 1 00:06:30 Terrifying. Well, uh, speaking of pranks, I'm trying to teach my kid how to prank. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> and, well, not trying to, I prank my son and he is emulating that. Yeah. Yeah. He is responding to this. So he was playing his little game on my phone and he goes up and he gives me my phone, take it from him. And he's like, oh daddy, wait, wait, wait. Give it back. Give it back. And I was like, okay. What? And he like, takes it and like, positions his shoulders to me and goes, here you go. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And I'm like, thank you. And he goes, wee, and throws it down the stairs. <laugh>. I was like, woo. <laugh>. Uh, and he's like smiling at me and I was like, listen, you can't throw the phone. It's gonna break. Well, dad's pretty good. <laugh>. That's a pretty funny break. Speaker 1 00:07:14 Yeah. I like execution's. Uh, top notch. Yeah. I mean, like right now I know how I feel about it. If you look at the footage from my house, I probably slapped him. <laugh>. No, I, I definitely was like, Hey, listen, that that's not okay. But that's very funny. But that's not okay. And like he went and got my phone, gave it back to me and I was like, thank you. Here. You can play with it. Wee. I didn't learn. I didn't learn. But yeah. Um, I, I realized that my kid's gonna start pranking me and now I'm not sure if we like torture Shannon or if we all start pranking people. I don't know what to do now. Well, you gotta be. Yeah. You verses is always better. Yeah, I know. I just, sorry, Shannon. I feel Shannon. I feel bad. <laugh>. I feel bad. Speaker 1 00:07:53 Shannon's the only girl in the house right now. And so like, I don't wanna do that. There's too una like coming after this girl. Poor woman. Uh uh. But, uh, have, did you watch the, have you been watching the ncaa? The March madness. The madness? I've been watching highlights cuz it's like, it's been super entertaining. Yeah. But, uh, and of course I saw the controversy cuz you know, fucking <laugh>, you can't see me. I, uh, I love that. Like in the article, someone I read one of articles I read had to explain that that what that was, I don't even know what that is. <laugh> in reference to wrestler John Cena's, uh, catchphrase from the early two thousands when he said, I didn't, I've never seen it. I was like, yeah. Oh, he doesn't get the irony. Oh, he doesn't get the pun. I was like, that guy's a genius. Speaker 1 00:08:34 No, he's not. He's just a dummy. No, it um, it's one of those things that like, it's like people that, like your conservative, uh, <laugh> people in Matt Washes <laugh> may or may not be of, uh, my father get pissed off about, uh, just cause it's like, whoa, when it's like a fucking nothing. It's like, it's too, it's two athletes that were talking trash like athletes fucking do. Dude. And the both the other athlete involved was like, yeah, it's fucking, it's the game with big fucking deal. Yeah. But it has, the white girl has to say it's okay for those of you who do not know what we're talking about. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. LSU and Iowa were in the champ, the women's NCAA championship. And like, they both had like, probably some of the greatest ballers of all time. Yeah. They fucking, they rock. Speaker 1 00:09:19 Like fucking fucking Angela Reese ba You Barbie Sheens buy you Barbie though. That is a hard name. <laugh>. I love Bayou Barbie. Angela Reese, African American, black sister outta of fucking lsu and Caitlin Clark outta Iowa. This woman is a beast. Caitlin Park has a jumper. She can shoot from half court. She's just like, do, like, she's got handles. Like I, I mean she's just, there's no one next to her. Like both of these women are incredible at the game. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And, uh, the reason that there's controversies that LSU beat Iowa. Now during this game, Angela Reese, the black woman, was talking trash to Caitlin Clark. That's what the media will tell you. But Kaitlyn Clark was disrespecting other people on the team and other teams going onto these championships. She was doing the John Cena. You can't see me. Yeah. Yeah. Like, but that's all good. Speaker 1 00:10:19 Mm-hmm. <affirmative> people talk trash. That's part of the game. It's part of the joke. It's as long as like, you don't start fighting, you don't interrupt the game. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> getting in someone's head and taking them out of the game is part of basketball. That's part of the mental part of basketball. Yeah. People love, I mean, you love hearing the sideline shits like Jor the evil shit Jordan would say to people like, we love it. We love it, dude. But as soon as they're women, especially not white women, just like, oh, fucking hell. Yeah. But like that. And it all came down to race. Cuz you have one side, Colin, Angela Reese, uh, you know, she's a thug. All the fucking words, like all the, I'm sure ghetto was tossed around all the fucking words. All the fucking words were tossing around. I'm not gonna go down the list, but Caitlin Clark was like, who a professional, cute, uh, the premier player. Speaker 1 00:11:03 They were both like in like the biggest games of their lives. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> leading up to this ca and like, both apart, like they're both the doing the same shit. One got painted dirty pun intended, one wasn't <laugh>. And, but anyway, LSU ended up beating, uh, Iowa. Iowa, Iowa and ev uh, she started to mimic the John Cena. You can't see me face, which Caitlin did first and then start to point at her ring finger as the minute had started to close down and look like LSU was taking it away. And if you ask me as a sports fan, that was hard as fuck. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty sweet. Like anybody who was talking shit about this, whoever watches boxing, mma football, basketball and thinking that was classless is a piece of shit. Like you are, you have a double standard. You're a double standard. Speaker 1 00:11:48 Without a doubt. I, these two women are beast. I actually, and then lemme just toss it because it, it all involves wrestling than me. <laugh>. It was the, it was the highest rate. It was higher rated than in the men's ncaa. Right? Yeah. It wasn't it better than the men's? Yeah. It was better. The men's like, we talked about this before, but it's like if women, you know, not if but like win given women given the chance they got the same stage. Like, you know, they'll fucking bring it and they'll fucking bring it hard. Fuck. Yeah. And I think that honestly I was, uh, when you were saying that they need the same stage, I'm like, listen, the one thing that men basketball, uh, they say about men's basketball, they don't say about women's basketball's. Like, oh, you know, they're just the fundamentals and they don't dunk. Speaker 1 00:12:23 And like, these are the dumb bad faith arguments when it comes to why they watch the N B A and they don't watch the W N B A listen, if these go both these women go to the W N B A and like you have this much passion and you're like talking trash and like, yeah, that's what I want to see. Like, I saw highlights of them, like my dumbass before the, before the championships. You know, like that's how widespread their athleticism and their fucking capabilities are. Yeah. They just, like you said, given the same stage, they'll knock, they'll bring as they'll bring, they'll bring in eyes. But anyway, shout out to both these women. Um, bye You Barbie. I think your heart is fucked. I'm a big fan. <laugh>, uh, Caitlin Clark. I think you're a baller. Um, I can't wait to see you guys go up against each other again, cuz that was fucking awesome. Speaker 1 00:13:08 Um, but, uh, speaking of wrestling and talking shit of wrestling here in LA last weekend as wrestle WrestleMania WrestleMania weekend. Oh, which one? Which WrestleMania was this? It was, well, I'm as old as WrestleMania, so it was WrestleMania 39. Ooh. WrestleMania 39. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> 30. Sweet. How was it? Uh, I watched it. I didn't go to the actual venue because, uh, you know, I, once he get speaking my dad, I am my dad's son. I a big crowd. If I can avoid it. Yeah. If I can watch the event at my house, I'll fucking do that. I should've found some way to get you like a box, like 80,000 people in traffic. That doesn't sound like something I'd like to do. Yeah. Most of the people I heard were like going to, they had like shuttles. They were trying to minimize the tr traffic. So they had all these bars and restaurants that were having WrestleMania events and they would shuttle you to the event. Speaker 1 00:13:52 Cause we had tickets. Uh, but I didn't, I watched it at home. It was great. I did see, uh, my brother and I went to a lucha show. One of the nights, like a 10 o'clock start Lucha Libre show, ah, at the, uh, Ukrainian Cultural Center. Uh, it is fucking dope. <laugh> <laugh> Live wrestling is awesome. Lucha Libre is fucking awesome. Uh, so it's anytime there's like a, a match like that, uh, I'm gonna check it out. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, it was a indie group called G C W. They're kinda like the king of the Indie. So each night they had a different, like that. Earlier that day it was, uh, the big gray, big gay brunch with Effy, who's kind of a super, super, uh, flamboyant, but also badass wrestler. Super. Uh, and it's called this, what was the brunch? Effie's, big gay brunch. I love it. Speaker 1 00:14:32 <laugh>. I love it. And then like, the night before there was like death matches. There was the blood sport match, which is like kind of no ropes, but they you beat the hell outta each other. Like shoot style. But you're still pro wrestling. So like, someone's gonna win. Someone's gonna lose beforehand. Yeah. Gotcha. Or they're gonna beat the hell at each other along the way. Like, just entertaining shit. Uh, but that was all great. So WrestleMania went to the Access, which is like at the convention center, they had a bunch of shit you could buy, which I didn't buy <laugh>, uh, but lots of things you could look at and touch, uh, like memorabilia. And they had, one of the things is the big w c w sign from Nitro, like when you were kids, like, oh shit, they had gear from different people like robes and Ray Cheerio's, gear from Halloween Havoc and shit. Speaker 1 00:15:13 It was, uh, that was, you know, um, was it, uh, Eddie Guerrero's fucking Low Rider from when he went into WrestleMania. Like some really, really cool stuff to see firsthand. I, you know, wrestling. I, I remember when I stopped watching wrestling and it's right when like Raw and SmackDown started having like commercials during matches and shit. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And like, I was like, eh, <laugh>, I've out, I've outgrown this. Like, if I'm not entertained for an hour straight, I'm out. Yeah. But, um, what, like, who were the big matches? Like, were, were there any surprises that you weren't expecting? Any, any, any? There was so Wrestlemania's two nights now, which is great. Uh, they guess so what us fucking Coachella <laugh>. Yeah. Dude, they spread it out over two nights and, uh, it was really entertaining and awesome the first night. Uh, the Women's Match, Rio Ripley versus Charlotte Flair, that was my favorite. Speaker 1 00:15:57 They fucking beat the hell out of each other. Such a good match. One of them with the really long hair. The, uh, no, that's, that's Bianca Bellaire. She's, she's dope too. Okay. Um, but she was the other, she was Sunday night. So that match was great. Um, the tag match for the titles was really great. And the following night, um, Cody Rhodes, the son of a son of a plumber, dust Rhodes's son, you know, the son of the son of a son of son. A plumber. Yeah. Grandson of the plumber. Yeah. The American nightmare. Dusty, uh, Cody Rhodes versus Roman Rains. Roman Rains won again. So disappointing. He's been, it's two fucking years straight. He's almost a thousand days as a champion, which is, and, and you hate this. I'm, I want something new personally. <laugh>, I'd like a new, I'd like a new change of pace as a fan and a consumer. Speaker 1 00:16:42 But what the fuck do I know? What do you know? You don't know the story. I don't know. Jackass watching at home. <laugh>. Uh, one of the other highlights was Edge. Like, you know, as I know Edge, edge, you know, not the guitars from YouTube, but the wrestler No Edge. Uh, he ca his interest was fucking awesome. He came out to, uh, uh, you think you want me? Well, yes. That was, that's his, he did come out to that eventually, but he initially came out to South of Heaven by Slayer, which is a fucking har the fucking speaking of hard, that's a fucking hard song. So he comes up rising in the stage, he's got this skull mask on, which is all fractured mirrors that's shaped like a skull. And he has these big demon wings that fly out, and then the camera cuts and he has it all shit. Speaker 1 00:17:21 And he goes like, you think you know me? Bye bye bye. Like music, his regular music goes off. It's like Edge again. It was Rad. <laugh> <laugh>. So I watched that with like, miles was about to go to bedtime. And I was like, all right, we should watch. Let's, let's check this out. <laugh> <laugh>. Well, that's dope. Yeah. I haven't watched wrestling in a while, but I did like it was everywhere. It was everywhere out here. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, all the rest. I saw a dude rest, like, macho man, Randy Savage walking downtown to the bus. Oh yeah. And I just, I think it's very funny to be like, not find, like being out of your group. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, like, he's just like, <laugh> and, and like, I was like, what the fuck? That is so weird that I saw another dude with the holster, <laugh> thing, no shirt on. Speaker 1 00:17:58 I was like, oh, I hope those guys see each other on the train. Mm-hmm. Because they, they're obviously both going Yeah. Spot. They were, they were events all over town. Different, uh, pay-per-views. And, uh, it was really cool. Oh, I'm, I'm glad. I'm glad. Um, well, I got the bummer news. Um mm-hmm. <affirmative>, we always, we said it from the beginning of the past, uh, pod. We're always gonna talk about it. We're always gonna know our thoughts. I'm still sick of talking about it. We had another school shooting in Nashville. It was terrible. Um, you know, uh, I don't have the words anymore. I don't know what to say anymore. I like, every time this happens, we're like, we always go like, oh, nothing's gonna change. And Yeah. As a nation, we're, we're spent. Like, we don't have it anymore. It's, it's crazy. Like, I wonder what they're gonna like in 50 or 60 years, what they're gonna be, or maybe 80 years, what they're gonna be reading about this period in history. Speaker 1 00:18:47 Like what they're gonna call it. Like, you know, the blood years or like, if we make it that long, if we make it that long as a country Yes. <laugh>, if we make it that long, uh, it's, there's no rational explanation for it. It's all people how they feel. The whole reason it's still in place is that people feel so strongly about this one. It's like they feel so strongly about their guns that they love so much. And that's like, that's what the things are holding it back. And the politicians are getting paid by the people that make guns and the people that love guns so much. It's, and none of it matters because there's literally, there's blood fucking everywhere and none of it changed. Yeah. It's not gonna matter. It doesn't matter. So what do you do? I don't, I don't fucking know. Yeah. Speaker 1 00:19:24 You build a, what do you Yeah, armed teachers. What's That's the, that's the latest solution. That was the, that's the bill that passed in Tennessee. That they're gonna arm teachers and thinking that, like, if I think about like Mrs. Clark or Mrs. Hug Crot or Mr. Fedor, like some of the teachers I had growing up with a gun, like Jesus Christ, there was not the only man capable of holding a gun, uh, at my elementary school was a disciplinarian. And he would've shot us all until there was no bullets left. <laugh> dude, <laugh>, he would've click, click, click, click, click. He hated children, dude. And I don't think I want to have him having a gun. I just, why are you gonna give underpaid teachers guns like you're not even trained to do? Like, how are you, like, you can't buy for school supplies, but you're gonna buy 'em a gun. Speaker 1 00:20:13 Like, think about it. What are you gonna do? They, they're, they're actually putting guns in a school. What if a kid gets that gun? What's gonna be about in a locked desk is gonna be on that person. You gonna tell me a kid's not gonna fucking go up there and clock a teacher in the back of the head, grab the gun and kill everyone in that class? It, it, it's smashed the glass. Oh. He doesn't have the safe key. You think a fucking 82 year old Miss Hugh, who's still working, is gonna be fucking there spinning the dial on the gun safe. Like, oh, I gotta get my 15. I hear shots <laugh> like, it, it does. It's like, and also it like, it's, it, it's not like scientifically proven, but multiple, like, at least three of these last few shootings had fucking armed guards or armed people on campus. Speaker 1 00:20:54 And they didn't do fucking shit. They didn't do fuck all man. Like, nobody wants to. And like this, you know why? Crazy thing, because they're not fucking trained for it. They're not like, they're not paid to do it. They're not fucking soldiers. They're not, they're none of those things. They're not, they're not expressed to like, run into gunfire. Like it's goddamn a Afghanistan. Like Afg Afghanistan can't talk. Yeah. Afghan af Afghanistan. Afghanistan, bro. All these motherfuckers, uh, and I say motherfuckers, I mean politicians, I think like, it's, uh, it really is up to us, man. Like, we gotta shut down the country somehow we gotta do something because there has to be one, a law fucking passed like this fucking, uh, I think they say it was a transgender person, which doesn't even fucking matter. This fucking persons a monster. Oh, it does to them. Speaker 1 00:21:35 <laugh>. Yeah. It certainly does to them. Like, that's, it's like, oh no, now it's, now they're like, now they're coming for us. The trans the trans are coming for us with their guns. Dude, my, when bla our producer Blaine told me what happened. Like, just walked into Oregon. He was like, another school shooting. And I was like, what the fuck? Where he's just like fucking Nashville transgender shot of her old Catholic school. We both gave ourselves a look like Mm. Not good. Oh, that's, that's fucking fuel. Fuel for air fire. Yeah. This seems like a deeper story there that we're not gonna get into mm-hmm. <affirmative>. But like, <laugh>, like, like they're gonna look like that's red meat. Like now they're like, how first she was being treat, uh, she was being treated for having psychological issues, obviously. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> obviously had some type of tortured background, and then they gave her a gun. Speaker 1 00:22:18 <laugh> what? <laugh> like what the fuck, like was on the list? And so like, listen, if you want to be an ignorant piece of shit, uh, like this is where I pick and choose to be a, an annual piece of shit. Yes. I acknowledge that. Uh, you can identify whoever you want. Don't care. I don't think it plays a part. We don't need to talk about it. I still stand strong. All mass shootings are committed by white men. Done <laugh>. But full stop. I'm moving on. I'm sorry. I, I just like, white dudes are fucking us up. Like, I <laugh> like, fuck this. I mean, historically. Yeah. Yeah. Kind of. Yeah. Historically, congratulations on this woman for being the first, uh, whatever. Anyway. Fucking she's a monster piece of shit. Killed fucking Cht killed people, and we're still not gonna do anything about it. Lauren Bobbitt's over on Capitol Hill talking about wolves. Speaker 1 00:23:09 This bitch is like, ha, let a committee hearing about how many wolves kill humans. It's like thousands, right? It's like hundreds in the world. <laugh>. And I think there's one in the United States, she's holding up pictures of like, this is Buster. And this is another doc, Scooby Doo that got their guts ripped out by Wolf. And I'm like, bitch, there was a school shooting a week ago. Like, like bullets are the number one cause of child death in this country right now. This woman over here talking about wolves getting her facts wrong too. Is this about to be a grandma? She is. She's about to be a grandma. Her 17 year old son, uh, is 17. It's like even if they had sex education, <laugh>, she'd be fighting against it. But they, so like, like that's who you, that's who you need it. Like, you need that brother. Speaker 1 00:23:57 Like, bro, how old's the, how old's the, the unspecified. Oh my God. I mean, oh my God. Probably not. Great. All right. Well, uh, yeah, it's gotta be another teen pregnancy for Grandma Bobert. Who's my age. You doing the Palins fast track? Oh my God. The Palin. Fast track <laugh>. But I mean, that actually is what we're talking about today is about sexual education. Like we're literally talking about that, uh, later on. Coming up is sexual education, how we learned it, how we hope our kids will learn it, what they're trying to do in schools now. And the reason Lauren Boberg is gonna be a grandma sexual education. Yeah. But, uh, yeah, we're gonna take a quick break and we'll be right back. This is papa Speaker 1 00:24:59 And we're back. Hey, uh, we're gonna have a little sexy talk ladies and gentlemen. Uh, I, for some of our, I would say our ride or die listeners, they know that we touched a little bit on our let's talk about sex baby, uh, episode sometime back. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. But, uh, we're doing more of a sex education episode here. And I got Bennett here and I wanna find out before we get into this, which we were talking about how other countries do it. Uh, do you remember when you took a sex ed class? Yeah. I, um, I can't remember if we discussed it on this show before. Probably. We talk a lot of shit about our past <laugh>. We do. I went to Catholic school all throughout middle school and high school. So I had didn't have sex ed. We had family life. Oh, I thought you just got molested when you went in there. Speaker 1 00:25:45 No, that was, um, until 10th grade. No, I, I started too late for that started second grade. Did they think you were a priest? Cuz you're like six five. You're like, here's your little boy. Oh, you go here. Yeah. I was an old maid, uh, in the second grade, unfortunately. <laugh>, um, what I fucking lost, I'm so sorry. Sex ed. Family life. So family life. What the fuck is family life? It is nothing. What do you mean? It is talking about sex without ever mentioning the act of sex or like how sex works. It all it is saying is like, you should not have sex. Uh, you should do it when you're married. And that is it. Like, it's like we got the, the, the cross sections of like the, the vagina and the penis and you had to label it, uh, and like the sperm and you labeled that but didn't like, there was no funk. Speaker 1 00:26:28 It's like, this is, these are these things. That's it. And that's it. Period. And like label it. I remember also taught by Coach Blankenship and Coach Como, uh, my team. Why do they always have the coaches, coaches doing it? Why is it always the coaches doing this shit? So, uh, one of the highlight of my middle school, like this is the first year, I think it was like sixth grade when we first did sex ed, or you know, family life. Holy shit with Coach Blankenship. And, uh, he was like, masturbation, it's wrong. Don't do it. And that was it. That was the only time masturbation was mentioned. Uh, and then I remember, it's wrong. Don't do it wrong. Don't do it in that tone. Uh, and then I remember after class I was very confused. Like, what masturbation was he talking about? Another kid who remained nameless cuz he got expelled for cutting a girl's finger. Speaker 1 00:27:11 Okay. Uh, he was got a in new tone with this dude's up too <laugh>. He's the one, and this is how most education goes down. He's like, masturbation is jerking off. Dummy <laugh>. I was like, oh. Oh, okay. I think I know what that jerking. Oh yeah. Just, yeah. Uh, so dude, that's too funny. <laugh>. So that was, uh, masturbations, masturbations wrong. Don't do it <laugh>. Then I literally just like, I don't know what he's talking about at all. So sixth grade. So sixth grade for you. He's fifth or sixth grade. Yeah, it's the sixth grade. So I remember, uh, in eighth grade at my private school is when they got to watch like the sex, like you had the sex ed class. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, like everybody. At one point, at one point of the year, these eighth graders get shoved into a room where the art teacher shows a birthing video. I was at sophomore in high school and I saw a birthing video the first time. That's fucked up. It was eighth grade and that you should see it and you should see. Yeah, you should see it. Eighth grade's a good time to see it. Well, I so fun fact, I transferred before then <laugh>. So I went to a public school. Fun fact about public school Sex ed is until ninth grade. <laugh> <laugh>. Speaker 1 00:28:22 So, um, yeah, I never got to see the birthing video. I, uh, in ninth grade, I remember Coach Borowski, you've seen Resident Evil four, right? Oh gosh. It's like that <laugh>, we missed it. It's, it's a very similar situation. <laugh> Less Blood. Um, <laugh>. Uh, so Coach Borowski was a health teacher. And Damnit, coach Burrows, it's always the coaches man. And this guy, he was fucking high, let me guess. Short shorts, high white socks, bro. All everything Short shorts, all oyster shirt. Yep. Uh, the Oakleys with the, the band on the back, he had the buzz cut and, you know, kind of walked like a pigeon <laugh>. He looked Southern, but sounded like he was like, from the Valley, valley <laugh>. What you guys doing over there, bro? Bro, get off the gate and just like, okay. That's, that was broski. Always chewing gum. But you knew he was shoot, packing a Lipper. Yeah. <laugh> packing that gum up. So yeah, he literally walks into class Wheels into tv. Uh, for our lo younger listeners, uh, they had to wheel in this fucking tube tv. That's true. They wheeled in the tv, put in his tape, and right when the credit started, he pressed pause with his glasses on, on the inside, just turns around, crosses his legs, leaning on his desk, crosses his arms. All right. Maynard Obie, Jonathan, Danny, if I hear anything outta you, you're outta here. <laugh> like, what the fuck? Speaker 2 00:29:46 <laugh>. Speaker 1 00:29:48 This is a serious class. Or shut up and listen, dude, to his fucking audience, bro. Yeah, he did. Yeah, he did. Turns on this video and it was literally just a woman talking about the worst STDs, uh, STDs on the planet. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, <laugh>. Pictures of those STDs. Yeah. What those STDs can do when untreated. And that was it. I didn't wanna hug a girl after that <laugh>, because they didn't e explain how you got these STDs. <laugh>. I was fucking putting four pieces of toilet stacking, four patches of toilet paper on the toilet seat. I was fucking washing my hands before I touched my penis to pee. And then washing my hands after <laugh>. Like, it was very confusing. It was not informative. Just terrifying. It was very confusing. But yeah, I learned the same way you did from the streets. <laugh> from the streets, from the streets, from your friends who were wrong. Speaker 1 00:30:46 Yeah. Like your Fri uh, you watch your, one of some of your more experienced friends, fool around you. Find out in on a basketball tournament on your best friend's bed in Vegas when you're 13. <laugh>. Yeah. Well, sorry, 12. You told the girl you were 13 because you lied. <laugh> <laugh> chicken. Thinking about now this hypothetical person thinking that thirteen's gonna sound way cooler than 12 <laugh>. I was like saying it out loud. Now I understand what that hypothetical person was thinking. It does sound cooler than 12. It does sound Who does sound cooler than you are? Wrong dude. <laugh>. What do you mean you <laugh>? Hypothetical person. Hypothetical person. This friend. We're friends. We're all friends here talking about friends. She, she goes to another school. <laugh>. Oh. Had sex. Um, but yeah, you learn from outside. Like you learn like literally like just by doing. Speaker 1 00:31:38 Like you stumble through it and sometimes you end up with the kids, sometimes you end up with the clap. Like it's kind of fucking crazy that we don't explain anything about who we are. Um, that's how I learned. The way you learned sounds ridiculous as well. <laugh> just so fucking backwards. And like Yeah, like I don't think we learned about STDs or if they were, it was just those diagrams of like, I don't know what this, it's like, I don't know what this is. Like, it's just a drawing. Like this is not helpful. I like, I know right now it's a little more involved, but now like, you hear of these stories about not talking about sex or at all, and that kids are being sexualized in school and like sexual orientation shouldn't be taught in school. And it's like, what the fuck? Wait, it's, it's, it's like they're tossed. Speaker 1 00:32:30 It's like the, the buzzword grooming is tossed around a whole bunch. There's a lot of buzzwords. <laugh>, there's a lot of, it's one of those words that like, you know, that like, you know them that doesn't want people to talk about sex. Uh, like the toss around. Yeah. That's what the pedophiles in Congress think. Yeah. It's like they call other people's groomers. <laugh>. Yeah. It's like, it's ev every, what is it? Every accusation is a confession. Like, that's true what it is. Dude, if I was fucking a little boy on my time and I was what? I was in Congress, I'd be calling the other side fucking pedophiles. Like, I read an article today about a Republican, I dunno if he was a, something political affiliation, that they literally, uh, rated his house as he was looking up child porn. Gee, <laugh> Right outta SVU handbook. Speaker 1 00:33:06 Definitely. And also not a drag queen. Oh my God. Did he have a V Did he at least have a vpn? Did some of these motherfuckers be like searching from, you know, their Windows 95 computer at work and like, ah, bro, you fucked up. Nah, that's never going away. Um, so yeah, I, I know that right now you can't teach sexual orientation without talking about sexual orientation and the fact that they're saying, oh, we're not homophobic. We just don't want to, it's not, kids should not know about sexual orientation and be like, how do you explain anything? Then it's, it, uh, it, it doesn't, you know, maybe if you, I don't know man. Like we live in LA we've got lots of friends that have lots of different backgrounds and lifestyles. Yeah. And like, sometimes you gotta answer questions that like whatever. It just, it's fucking, that's what kids are like. Speaker 1 00:33:51 That's how the world is. And like, maybe different parts of the world are, the US aren't like that. Like, but I don't know man. Like, there's no fucking harm in saying like, yeah. Like, yeah, you know, your uncle Jeff likes guys. Like, that's no big deal. Like, I like, just like, yeah, I love mom. Like, you know, you can love whoever you want. Like, it's one of those things like, we like for those exact reasons. Like we were talking about it briefly early, but it's like you, like your children need to know so they don't get taken advantage of. Oh yeah. Like, you know, like it's so true. Like, their kid. True. You know, like, like they, they know it's their penis and their balls, their testicles. Like that's, those are their things. And like, that's the, we haven't gotten that far yet. We haven't gotten that. Speaker 1 00:34:27 We're, we're close making our way that way. Making your way down there <laugh>. But it's like, one of the things we talk about it like, it's not like a shameful thing. It's like, it's like you have to get it out there. Like you can't hide it from them cuz they're gonna, you know, it's like, it's only damaging to them. Yeah. I used to do the naked dance with my son <laugh>. Cause I want him to feel comfortable with his body, but now he like really likes it. It makes me uncomfortable. I'm like, bro, you're about to be five. You can't be running around the house naked. <laugh> put on some goddamn pants <laugh>. Um, but yeah, I, I I, we were reading, uh, what was the name of that article? Um, it says that, uh, sorry, our producer's looking it up, but I think in the US 24 states mandate sexual education and only 30 fa 34 states mandate, uh, HIV v education. Speaker 1 00:35:17 Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, both those numbers are not 50 and they should be 50 <laugh>. That's the problem I have. Because guess what? Sex is happening in every fucking, in 50, 50 to 50, it's all happening. 24 states, only 24 states mandating sex education is crazy cuz that's less than half the country. You're just sticking these motherfuckers out, out in the world. Like every, like, it's, it's gonna sound shitty and I don't want anybody to feel upset that I'm saying this, but if you do not educate your kids at a proper age about their sexual, uh, uh, like about sex and their body and orientation and what's a good touch and bad touch that kid's gonna get diddled or, you know, or they're gonna like, have a shitty time in college or like find out the heart. You know, like they're gonna have a, they're gonna have a bad time. Speaker 1 00:36:03 You're gonna have a, you're gonna have, you're gonna have a bad time, but Yeah. Should be condoms in fucking high school, like in every, uh, high school bathroom. Like, it's not encouraging sex. It's like, listen, you guys are gonna start fucking mm-hmm. <affirmative>. I don't wanna fucking be a bobert. I don't wanna be a 36 year old grandma. Yeah. Like protect yourself. Find out how to put, like, no one taught me how to fucking put on a condom. I remember when I was like supposed to have sex mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And I just fucking got three boxes to like, make sure I can practice on myself. So I didn't embarrass myself. I'm like, I don't know how this works. I didn't have fucking YouTube. I couldn't look it up. I was like, I know I'm gonna go through like three, like, nobody talk. Like, do I put four or five condoms on? Speaker 1 00:36:43 Like, there's a funny episode of the Office, um, where Mike makes a comment about wearing like, uh, two condoms. Two condoms, <laugh> at a time. <laugh>. And it's just like, that's such a sad reality of what we're living in. Yeah. You know, like, well, it's like, I remember hearing about, um, there's a, not a widespread, not a, you know, maybe it's widespread for some people, but like, there's a, there's a noticeable difference in erectile dysfunction in younger men these days. And there's pretty much a direct correlation between, uh, access to pornography. Like, because there's so much porno everywhere. It's like, whenever you get the real deal, you're already Jack Yeah. Your, your system's jacked up. Like, you know, because Oh shit. Because you're, you're not, because you're jumping in the deep end. <laugh> <laugh>. You're not easing in, you know. Gotcha. I, um, so that's, that's another facet. Speaker 1 00:37:34 It's like, you know, backing up back Monday, I remember like literally trying to look up porn Anders like Yeah. Like slowly inching its way up, bro. I remember the first time, like internet porn showed up mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And like, I was like, why would anybody do this to themselves? Like, I'm just gonna get a magazine. Like, this is ridiculous. <laugh>. And then like, it was almost like a light switch. It just one day it got better. It got better. Yeah. It just got better. <laugh>. And I remember, uh, there was like the kayak, if you will, of porn sites or the Google of porn sites, which was this site, I think it closed down. I think it closed down. It's called Elephant Tube. <laugh> Elephant Tube had everything from Everyth site. It was insane. And I was just like, okay, <laugh>. Okay, calm down. Because it was like, I know that as a, when I was like a, I think it was like 20 mm-hmm. Speaker 1 00:38:31 <affirmative>, you're gonna reach the end of the internet these days. You can't reach the end of the internet. No. It's, it's very deep. And like these kids are gonna fucking find out. Yeah. Oh, look at that. It's Elephant Tube pulled out. It's a very similar thing in my opinion of like, oh, it's closed <laugh>. Aw, I'm sorry. I don't even know. Websites closed <laugh>. So it literally says, good news, elephant Tune has been merged with IX x.com. Elephant Tube is closed. <laugh>, God, I'm so sorry. How old? That's how old is that <laugh>? I uplift a website. Yeah, a porn site. Oh my God. Oh, that's too good. So I have, while we're talking, this may be the most radical idea I've ever had. I'm into it. Let me say it's probably not a good idea. Now it's an idea. I'd love to toss out and see. Speaker 1 00:39:16 I don't even wanna hear it now. The Trump on it <laugh> my money. 50 50. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, sex education, gun education. You take half the year doing sex education, other half the year doing gun in education, how to clean a gun. How do, how to label a different, if you demystify both of those things, I wonder what happens. Like, I wonder what happens in this world? Is everyone, is everyone armed? John Wick killers <laugh> in fuck machines? Or are they less mystified by these things? I think that is a fucking fantastic idea. I think I heard our producer slow capping in the, it's the wings. I it's, it's made be stupid. It's probably crazy. And they definitely won't go over in a lot of places, bro. But it's, it's genius. We cannot get away from guns. We can't get away from sex in this country. Speaker 1 00:39:55 Why not do half and half? Why not do have sex in violence? <laugh>? Well, like sex, again, not in that package, but I think education is a good, like, cuz I grew up in the south, everyone, like, not everyone, most of my friends had guns safely lucked up in their gun cabinets. Never fucking put out because their dads put the fucking fear of God and every single one of 'em how dangerous guns were. Jesus. And like, that's how that's responsible going on ownership. You could see the guns, they're locked in the cabinet. I dunno where the key is. Dad knows where the key is. Like I'm, well, I mean, you can't do I agree with you. I think that idea will work. I dunno if you wanna ride hitch on this wagon. I, I, I maybe a, I'm, I'm over here. I'm smoking a blunt in the passenger seat with you, bro. Speaker 1 00:40:38 <laugh>. I'm right there because I honestly believe like we need radical ideas to fix this fucking radical, like this fucking problem. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> extreme beats extreme, uniquely every single time American problem. It's a uniquely American fucking problem. I think we were talking about teen pregnancies, um, like America's been leading it at a, at a high in every western country. Like every other country's going down and we're fucking going up. Why? Yeah, because, you know, the religious background, it's like, it's sex has always been naughty since this, since this country's founded, despite the fact's, how it was raised, founded by fuck machines. Yes. People who left anything to fuck Ben Franklin or Thomas Jefferson or, you know, fuck machines. Yeah. Ask yourself why you know so many fucking people. The last name Jefferson <laugh>. All right. <laugh>, you know, like taking out all the African countries in South, south American country, uh, like I'm talking about these fucking, what they would say Western developed first world country. Speaker 1 00:41:34 Yeah. The, the ones that, uh, like the clip that comes to mind of all the leaders that laughed at Trump when he signed his name in the wrong place. Those guys, all of those guys, all of those countries have much lower, uh, teenage birth rates than us. It's fucking ridiculous. So I know in, uh, in the Netherlands, they're sa uh, I think they started at kindergarten. Is that correct? Uh, Beezy are in kindergarten, they start talking about sex and uh, I believe that they, uh, we got pulled up here. The core principles such as sexuality, diversity, and sexual, uh, assertiveness are taught within the, uh, this Norwegian, is it Netherlands? The Norwegian system? Uh, it's Norway. It's Norway. Oh wait, what's the Netherlands? Dutch. Oh, it's the Dutch. Why are you nodding? Yes. Now I look like an idiot. Netherlands. Sex education. The Netherlands is Dutch. Speaker 1 00:42:18 Mm-hmm. <affirmative> and Norway are the Norwegians. Yeah. Yeah. I'm pretty sure. Nailed it. And the fins are finished. The Finland people. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> and the Vikings are where? Minnesota. All of there Nailed it. Okay. Nailed it. <laugh>. Okay. But like you saying, uh, sexual diversity and sexual assertive, those are the things we're talking to our kid. Like I'm talking to my kids now mm-hmm. <affirmative> about like, people have different kinds of relationships and that's all. Okay. Like if, and like, one of the things that's not like, it's not sexual, but it's in the realm of touching. Like, whenever we meet somebody new, uh, hey, do you wanna give him a hug? Do you wanna give 'em a high five? Do you want, do you wanna wave high? We don't, we don't make him hug. We don't make him give kisses to anybody who'd want to. Speaker 1 00:42:57 Mm-hmm. <affirmative> like, because it's his body and his choice. Eh, that's a little liberal for me. I, Hey, it might be, I think once he gets a job, he can have a fucking choice. <laugh>, you gonna get fucking kissed right now. I'm fucking Ozo. Get over here and give me a kiss. I don't want to short over and kiss one of those things. That was like, because of his, because of Miles, specifically shyness. <affirmative> mural says fucking hi to everybody. He didn't <laugh>. I love the people that says hi to at the grocery store. They're like, what's up little man? <laugh>. Hey. Yeah. He says hi to people would never get side hi to. I love it. <laugh>. Uh, but Miles was not that way. So like, in the beginning it's like, Hey, if you don't wanna give him a hug, don't give him a hug. Speaker 1 00:43:33 Cuz like, I remember I was a kid. Like you had to fucking, it's like, it's his body. It's his choice. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. That's where it starts with us. And it's not like we're not teaching about sex. We're teaching about his body though. And like, aim for it and words for it and how to use it. Yeah. Cuz those things like, like when his penis sticks in his underwear, like, we're gonna say, Hey, your penis is sticking out. We're not gonna be like, Ooh, you webi. It's like, no dude, your penis is sticking out your underwear. Let's fix it. Yeah. Oza calls it as Peepee <laugh>. That works too. He calls it peepee. And <laugh>. He, I gotta stops. I I got in trouble cuz he was saying booty hole a lot. So I don't say it anymore, but I think booty hole's funny. It is funny. Speaker 1 00:44:06 So funny, when the three year old says penis, it's just funny. Booty dust <laugh> quote of the year. Um, but, uh, yeah, I, kids being more, uh, aware of their bodies and their self and they know, like sex education doesn't ne necessarily need to be like, this is how you have sex. No, that would be fucking helpful. <laugh>, when I was fucking 12 or 13, 13 on paper. <laugh> it would've been fucking helpful. But, you know, it would be very, very beneficial for kids to know how to protect themselves, how to feel more confident about themselves. Like everybody thinks they're weird. We taught, we did a whole episode about insecurities and the fact that we are like this free country that's gonna go blasting through. Like, when people think, like, Americans think of themselves as like a bald eagle riding a raptor, holding an a a fucking ar 15 with a bandana fucking cigarette in the Jack Daniels bottle. Speaker 1 00:45:04 On the other hand, like, we're not party animals, we're fucking prudes. And it really fucking sucks. It's like books terrify these people. You know, these dude, they're banning books. These people. Yeah. Yeah. They're banning books. It's fucking wild. I, so here's a radical idea. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, here's a radical idea. There shouldn't be, you know, that one class anymore. It should be like a week. It should be like a week towards the end of the year when you're never gonna see these kids again. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, maybe the last two weeks is like these steps in sex, sex education, speaking about orientation, self-confidence, being aware of their body, have how to practice safe, safe sex and like, split the guys up and the girls up and tell 'em how their fucking junk works. Like how is, how is like this running joke that man can't fly in the clitoris Funny. Speaker 1 00:45:57 Yeah. How the fuck is that funny? There's grown men out there that have no idea where that is or what it is. Like I remember in the nineties is like the GS spot, the Gs spot. I'm like, what's the G-spot? That was really hot. If their hashtag in the nineties, that would've been a really hot one. Yeah. The hashtag hashtag gs spot. Like, come on man. Like, there's motherfuckers out there that are having sex and it sucks. Yeah. Yeah. What <laugh> what? Think about every like, like what we call intelligent animals out there. They all fucking for fun. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, like, think about it. We figured it out. Like some are fucking appropriate, some are having it. Just have a good time. Yeah. So make it safe. Make it enjoyable for everyone. It doesn't fucking ma uh, it it blows my mind. Like, um, it's, it's literally, it's how we all got here and pretty much everyone on the plane's gonna do it eventually. Speaker 1 00:46:46 Yeah. What the fuck? That's my radical idea. People need to know how to fuck <laugh>. Like, I, I, I, I, am I wrong? Am I wrong? I think people need to know how to fuck. I think that it's terrible that you got all these motherfuckers, men and women going into their college years having no idea how to fuck fucking dry rubbing each other. There's, uh, gross <laugh>, imagine like a little 14 year, like some long nailed 14 year old after football fact practice trying to finger bang a girl behind the fucking dumpster. Like, ah, like it's all Yeah, it's not good. Like, like people need to know how to communicate. Like it's, oh my God, I'm just ha I'm having so many disgusting flashbacks. Ugh. I'm so embarrassed. <laugh>. Yeah. It's all embarrassing at end. It's all embarrassing. So put on the table how embarrassing it is. Speaker 1 00:47:37 Like, it's not, it's like, I remember like the very first time I had sex, like afterwards I was like, oh, like the very first time I had mushrooms or the first time I did anything like different, I was like, oh, it's not gonna fucking change everything. Like I was, uh, told my whole life. It's just something else. Yeah. Yeah. There's like, it's, it is what it is and you know, it's great when it's happening and then when it's done you're just like, lemme clarify. That was on my wedding night too. Gotcha. Yes. Let you know that was Yes. Yes. It was <laugh> for anyone. It related to me <laugh>. That's another thing fucking crazy is that that was what I was told my entire life's like, dude, you shouldn't have sex until you're marriage to the person you'd be stuck with forever. That's so crazy. Fucking gamble. That's so what a gamble. <laugh> Speaker 1 00:48:24 Ro we test drive cars. We fucking go through plans. Uh, <laugh>, you know, you're going through open houses, you doing seminars and schools, but when it comes to some, the only thing you'll be stuck with for the rest of your life in theory, can't try it. <laugh>, guess what? Cuz you know what, sometimes it doesn't fit. Sometimes you get weird parts and they don't fit all the ti all the time. Fuck it. <laugh>. Sometimes that happens. Like, wait, you're not gonna find out, oh fuck, wedding. Mine goes hers and hers is little this way. And it's like, and we're just gonna do this for till we die. Yeah. <laugh> Jesus Christ. Yeah. You gotta know like what's going on with your partner before you married them. Like, what if like, you're sitting there and that girl's like, uh, I like butts stuff. And you're like, oh, okay. Speaker 1 00:49:08 Well I wish we checked that box on our first date, but you know, we're married now, so let's give it a go. Like, what have you married a dude? And he's just like, I'm really in the feet. That's how I climax, I think. Are you, is this a confession or is this an example? Yeah. Well, hopefully it's an example. <laugh>. <laugh>. It's a confession. This is where I go. I'm really in the feet. Feet gross me out. By the way, you just end the, in the segment after that. Yeah. <laugh>, you're like, all right. All right. And we'll be right back. <laugh>, I'm really in the feet <laugh> like Dee de <laugh>. Speaker 1 00:49:49 But yes, that's a wild idea. The fact that you're not supposed to fuck until you get married. Hmm. Yeah. So anyway, I think, um, kids knowing the difference between appropriate and inappropriate touching, having boundaries, uh, knowing themselves, uh, knowing what love is and like is, and you know, uh, it's okay to feel different things at different people. It's different. You're not gonna be the same person to your whole fucking life. Like all those things. Like Yeah. Like you think, you wonder why motherfucking these dumb ass dudes are sitting there like, I didn't know I was rape. I'm like, yeah, man, she's passed the fuck out. You gonna tell me you didn't know that was fucking rape? Like, it's bullshit. Yeah. Like, we not, we're not supposed to be teaching girls how to protect themselves, and we're not gonna be teaching guys, like sign a consent form. Speaker 1 00:50:39 Yeah. No, no. Everybody just learn about yourselves. Learn about the people you are interested in. And like, now, is that the school's responsibility? Is that the parent's responsibility? Like it's both. I mean, the thing is like, you know, people, like kids are born, maybe ended up on the state dollar. Sounds like something the state's gonna need. Like Yep. <laugh>, he wanted less people on state del dollars. This is someone who's, you know, I'm Yeah. As a foster parents, like I'm taking them state dollars, like, yeah. No, it's true. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, you're fucking doing the good work. Yeah. You're doing the good work. And I think that you're right. If, if we don't teach these kids, it's gonna be more, more babies on the government teach more training in the system. Just that, that's like, that's not a fun fact, but it's a fucking fact. Yeah. Speaker 1 00:51:31 It's not a fun one at all. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. It's a fact. Holy shit. You, I like when you put things in perspective for me. Oh, thanks. It's really, really good. It's really, really good. So when are we gonna do our guns and sex proposition? Cold board <laugh>. I'm, I'm in the passenger seat with you. You know, that would go viral in a second, bro. I think, uh, I think that that is the greatest idea I've ever heard. <laugh> full stop. Full stop. Um, now here, um, how comfortable would you be if a teacher like wrote the letter, you got a letter home from your school, like, you know, uh, miles in kindergarten, which is like, Hey, we're gonna go, we're having a sexed seminar. You know, good luck. Yeah. I think it was, it was something, if it was two sentences, I would be like, I'd like to a little more clarification on this. Speaker 1 00:52:18 <laugh>. Uh, I think like, we'd be testing these topics, bodi, autonomy, like the things that we were talking about. Like, I think it'd be, you know, I'd be like, oh, I mean, those are the topics that we talk about. Like, but I don't know can, like, no, I think it's like, no, like, if they're not talking about like, Hey kindergartners, this is how you fuck. Like, this is where a penis goes into a, it's like if they're talking about like, Hey, sometimes mommies and mommies love each other. Sometimes daddys and daddys love because that's just the fucking facts of the world we live in. Yeah. Like different relationships happen. Like, hey, some people are adopted, some people have one mom, some people have one dad. Like, some people are raised with a grand, like, those kind of things. And like, Hey, this is your part of this. Speaker 1 00:52:54 These are your parts of the body that only you touch, or your parents help you touch when you're hurt, or you, or, you know, like those kind of things. That's not a bad thing to teach to kindergarten. No. They, they should know the shit by their, when they're kindergarten. Yeah. It's, you're, you're a hundred percent right. It's not just about fucking sex. And like, there's a bunch of things that this will benefit and, you know, gender roles orientation right now, trying to stop kids from learning. That is only, it's just like when you, it's the same shit of stopping kids from drinking. Like, the people that I knew that like hit, you know, well, I'm in Louisiana, so it's like 50 50. Some of the people I knew that hit it the hardest in college. People that didn't drink at all in high school. Oh yeah. Speaker 1 00:53:33 Oh yeah. The people I knew that I was Dr. The guys where I was drawn on their face. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>, I remember they were not at the high school parties. <laugh>. And like, not to condone high school drinking, but I think that like, I condone it. Okay. Just be safe about it. I mean, go to the buddy's house, have a couple beers, see how it feels. Take a couple shots. Call it a day. I've gone overboard. I'm thank, I, thank God I didn't die. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And I think you need to learn young. That alcohol's no fucking joke. No, I definitely learned my limits. Uh, both mean deep in college. Like I was still testing those limits, but, oh man, <laugh>, I, I ended up in the hospital from drinking too much. Really? Yeah. I had 27 shots in an hour. Mm. That's bad. Yeah. Speaker 1 00:54:12 Well, we, uh, we showed up at a party with a big whiteboard. It was like barf bowl 2000 something and Yeah. Good. Not good. Yeah. But it's, I think about it now and I'm like, what an idiot. <laugh> point. Uh, I think my blood alcohol was 0.327. That's, that's a lot. Yeah. Apparently that's when you die. Yeah. It's like an entire beer. Yeah. That's suck. You're more beer than, man. I was more beer than man. I was more beer than man. But I learned my lesson too late though. Yeah. And it's, it's like, I don't know, once I, my parents were like, I got, I was freshman year, last day of school, hung out with some not Yeah. Around the last day of school, uh, hung out with some older kids, got shit housed, uh, and me being drunk and throwing up over a place that a parent, you know, at a house where no parents are at. Speaker 1 00:54:59 Yeah. The kids end up calling my dads and mom was outta town, so, oh, that's the worst. It was, it was, it was bad. It was not good. Um, oh, that's the fucking worst. But after that point, like talking about drinking became more open and like, I, it was not this thing I had to hide anymore, per se. It was, I'm still trying to figure it out, but like having that openness of like, hey, like my ki my, you know, we might drink sometimes is maybe a drinking thing. My parents would like, okay, do this, do this. You call me here. Like, you know, like the, like, call me anytime. Like, I used that a couple of times, like when I was stuck in spots, like, and it was no questions asked. Pick you up, drop you home, you know, better than drinking and driving. Speaker 1 00:55:35 Like those kind of conversations started after I got fu you know, like after I got fucking caught. Yeah. Honestly, that's the best way that it could happen. I, I have a similar story where a friend's father at his house, um, you know, we used to throw parties there all the time. And you know, his mom, um, mom and dad, they wouldn't drink with us, but they would make sure we were safe. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And I remember like a staple of the house was like, mom would come down at like one or two in the morning while we're still drinking, make everyone spaghetti and meatballs, need little red solo cups. And it was amazing. It was amazing. Pretty sweet. Yeah. It was fucking amazing. And dad was real stern. He was like stray. Beefcake didn't drink a lot sometimes, but when he did get a little turnt mm-hmm. Speaker 1 00:56:16 <affirmative>, this dude was philosophical. Yeah. Like, it was wild. And I remember, um, there was, he was trying to make, protect us from ourselves and there was like a bunch of drunk guys, a bunch of drunk girls. He's like, you guys need to be safe and we're outside. I'm fucking drinking. And I'm like, one eye in it. And he's telling me, he's like, you know, you gotta, you have to know when you're drunk and when to stop. You realize that. I'm like, yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine. He's like, you don't look fine <laugh>. You need to ask yourself, are you having fun drinking? Or are you drinking to have fun? And I was like, um, I'm too drunk for this <laugh>, I'm going bed. That's a hard-hitting line dude. And like, it stuck with me. It stuck with me. Cuz like, there's times where, you know, I am drinking and I'm at the bar and I'm like, all right, I'm done. Speaker 1 00:57:02 That's enough. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. And I like, I don't wanna drink anymore. I don't wanna be drunk in, uh, that drunk in public. And then there are times where I'll get home and I'll be like, woo, not cap <laugh>, you know, wake up the next day with my pants down on the, on the couch. I know those times. But yeah, it's um, if we educate our kids just about their bodies or like wear mommy and daddy, uh, like, why mommy and daddy like each other? Why daddy and daddy, uh, like each other, or mommy, mommy like each other. Like whatever it is. Like, I don't understand the downside. Yeah. I don't understand the downside. So are you in favor of sex education happening, you know, in kindergarten, in first grade, like five and six year olds? Do you think it's too early? I think calling it sex, sex education is the, is the thing that's, if we're talking about like say, hey, we're talking about body education or something like that, like mm-hmm. <affirmative>, like phrasing it somewhere, like another liberal phrase that would drive them crazy, but it's not sex. Okay. You know, maybe that would be like, I don't know. Maybe family life. <laugh> <laugh>. Speaker 1 00:58:05 All right. You'll see. We're gonna take a break. We're gonna end it right there. <laugh> Family life. Thank you very much for that, Ben. Listen, you guys get your god damn kid sexually educated. All right. This is papa on Preach. We'll be right back. Speaker 0 00:58:27 We'll get you out. Speaker 1 00:58:36 Hey ladies and gentlemen, we are back. Uh, thank you so much for hanging out with us today on Papa. Don't Preach. We have reached the end of our pod and we're gonna go with the age old segment called Papa's Pulpit. You guys know what it is? It's where Ben and I have a, something that's on our mind, we wanna rant about whether it's something good, something bad, something a ter terrible or something that just really irks us. So I'm gonna take the pulpit and pass it on to Bennett. Bennett, what's on your mind and what's irking you? Uh, well we were talking about it earlier. I, um, had my, the worst mess I had to clean up as a parent, uh, recently that a couple days ago Sounds terrifying. Professionally, had a wor you know, it's, it's debatable. We'll let you, I'll let you decide which ones were. Speaker 1 00:59:15 Okay. So professionally, the worst mess had to clean up craft service gig, uh, overnight. Shoot got called in last minute, like, no, don't know who this person is, just working with them. This person I'm working with decides to make hot chocolate with a pressure cooker. Uh huh. My initially, I'm like, that doesn't sound right, but Hey, your show, your rodeo. I'm just, I'm just day playing. Yeah. Maybe it's a hack you don't know about. Uh, it was not, it wasn't definitely a fucking hack. <laugh> is what happens next is hot chocolate is spewing out of the release valve, just fucking boiling hot chocolate. And it is everywhere. Jesus. There's like a spray of like a, like the fountain at fucking, okay. Corral <laugh>, but high pressure situation, <laugh>. Uh, and it was the worst. Like, I had to clean chocolate and it was legit. She was like, I get real chocolate to make real hot chocolate. Speaker 1 01:00:00 So it wasn't powdered shit. It was real. Oh shit. Thank God. We were, we're shooting at a, like, at a location where there was actual restaurant, so I got to use their kitchen to spray everything down, but I, oh my God. It was cho it was an hour of cleaning up straight of just fucking chocolate, chocolate everywhere. So that I can't imagine is number one professional, number one as a father. Okay. <laugh>, our big dude Miles is potty training. He's doing pretty solid. Nice. He's doing pretty solid. Uh, one point in this last week, he had an accident, a poopy accident. Oh. Put his pants in the hamper. It did not tell us. Oh, no. And I found out the worst way you can after I did all their clothes in the washing machine. Oh, no. So I opened it up. No one's in the house, like, like kids are asleep. Speaker 1 01:00:44 Nats, uh, she's, I think she's doing something, she's like working late or whatever. Uh, so just me, just me in the washing machine, uh, full of shit. So I open and I just like, immediately I was like, oh, no, that's not good. So I started taking clothes out and it's like a little shit rock. Tumblr, his little poops have all been tumbling around for 58 minutes straight. Oh my God. In wash and not dissolving. Oh my God. So I had to take all the clothes out, uh, and then shake 'em all out to get all the individual little pieces of poop off them <laugh> and set them aside. <laugh>. That's something I gotta worry about those later. <laugh>. And then I had to take a, like, virtually take apart, get on YouTube, take apart my fucking washing machine and get all of the creamy shit that's been encased in the, in the seal all around the washing machine. Speaker 1 01:01:31 Ooh. Nobody's listening to this. Do that all by hand. <laugh>. Uh, at this point, like, we're talking about mad, like, I was mad initially. Like this is like, I'm like, I'm probably zen. Like I'm probably almost like Buddhist Nirvana, <laugh>. Cause I'm so fucking beyond. It's past. I'm so beyond mad <laugh>. I'm on a new level of emotion as I'm like scraping the shit out of the val out of the seal, uh, in the washing machine. So I do that like, then like, just hot, like bleach, run it cycle like rinse cycle, run it another bleach cycle, run it close, run those like a couple of times. Oh man. Ultimately you ran those clothes five times. I kept smelling it <laugh>. I, I couldn't get the smell out. Uh, and then like, then more cleaning of the washing machine then like, it's literally like, it's like factory new at this point, <laugh>. Speaker 1 01:02:17 But it took me over fucking hours. Like it was, it probably took me and 45 minutes to clean it. And then just the wa the non-stop washing, maybe eight hours of washing just to get the shit smell out of those clothes. Oh man. And that was the worst thing I had to clean up. Like, it wasn't like, it wasn't like gro It was, I mean, of course it was gross, but it was, it was just persistent. It wasn't an easy clean. It was not, it was like, cuz it, cuz it ran through the cycle, man. It had gone through an entire rip cycle. Damn. Ugh. It was rough. It was rough. <laugh>. Yo. Um, hey, lesson learned. I'm gonna, like, literally the last time I did laundry, I was like, <laugh> <laugh>. It's like nothing's getting past me now. <laugh>. Speaker 1 01:02:57 Oh man. That's a, that's my literal nightmare. Oh man. It was, I've lived it. I mean, you, hey, you could survive. You get past it, but holy fuck man. When I <laugh> you sound like you need a support group. It was survivors of a poopy in the washing machine. One thing is like, I'm, I'm almost a plumber at this point, <laugh>, but I, I had to learn to take apart my washing machine. Oh damn. Hey, that's my pulpit. That's your pulpit. Well, thank you so much for sharing. I'm glad you're able to get that off your chest. <laugh>. I think number two would be the worst mess ever. Because number one, at one point you could've been like, you fucked this up. I'm out. Yeah, but that's on you. Number two is on. It was just stand out. No pun intended. Actually. Pun intended. <laugh>. Speaker 1 01:03:37 That two is on you. All right, <laugh>. That is all you clean. Yeah, it's all me. All right. Well I'm gonna grab the pulpit for a second. I'm gonna try and make this quick. But, um, we were over here talking about things that make us angry and things are getting on our nerves. And I had a very interesting experience that brought me back to another experience that I brought, uh, I talked to on this pod that made me realize something that's awful. But, um, animal control in La LA's a giant city. It's 26 mil. All right. And they're asking for, what was it, a 15 million increase? Like 42 something like 42 million. Yeah. Their budget was, it was like, it's, I dunno, other was originally it jumped to like 44 million. Yeah. So they're, that's the budget I think for this year is gonna be like 44 mill. Speaker 1 01:04:20 And for those of you that live in Los Angeles, if you have ever called animal control, you know what I'm talking about. But, um, I remember years ago I told you that there was a, I saw like this accident on, uh, near Santa Clarita, six Flags, magic Mountain coming down like the 14 or some shit. And it was at night and I saw like this truck pulled over the trailer hanging over. And I was like, I didn't think much of it, but then I saw this horse running on the fucking freeway. Oh yeah, yeah. And I was like, oh shit. And I saw another horse. I'm like, somebody's gonna hit these fucking horses. I mean, I think enough time has passed. So I can admit I was high as hell when this happened. So I called animal control <laugh>. I, I, I called animal control. Speaker 1 01:05:01 Like, yo, there's motherfucking horses out. No, I called 9 1 1. Yeah, yeah. I called 9 1 1. I'm like, yo, there's fucking horses out here and on, on the freeway. I'm like, on the five, like, somebody's gonna get in an accident. There's like, I think there was an accident. There's just a bunch of horses on the freeway. And she's like, ah, this doesn't sound like this. Is this an emergency, sir? I'm like, to me it sounds like an emergency. And she's like, you need to call animal. You got bigger fucking horse is if a car hits in, it's a goddamn emergency, bro. I know if everyone's seen that viral video of that Kia soul getting flipped over by a tire, but like, fuck man, imagine a fucking Kia Soul hitting a horse game over. But, uh, she's like, you need to call animal control. Click what? So I called 9 1 1 back in. Speaker 1 01:05:38 Yeah. Yeah. I call him back again. I'm like, yo, I need a number for animal control. This lady just hung up on me. She gives me the number. I called the number fucking answering machine. I leave a message <laugh>. I didn't know government workers had like, like I didn't reach anyone. I said had to leave a message. I that's through the prompts, like end of the day I get it. It was late at night. I think that's something that needs to run 24 hours a day. But animals are always around. They're always around. I figured the answering machine is like, it's like we, I don't know why it's like an, it's like raw, like ow like hey, hey, animal control here is animal control. Crazy over here. Like <laugh>. That's what I felt like. It's just like they'd have a silly one. I don't know if they're probably not a silly message is No, I, so number two, I recently called forgetting about this experience I had years ago mm-hmm. Speaker 1 01:06:24 <affirmative> Years, years, years ago I called because there was like this white Akita or wolf, there's a giant white dog running down my street. Yeah. And you know, tongue out, like, Lobo warned us about this. I'm like, okay, this is this dog rabid like what's going on? When I opened the door, he'd be like, what the fuck's up with this dog? It made a beeline towards me. I'm like, Nope, close the door. I'm like, Nope. So it was just hanging out on my porch. It was like John at the other dogs in the neighborhood. The whole neighborhood was going nuts cuz everybody's got dogs, but there's like, oh, one's out, he's out <laugh>. Ah. Like they were freaking out. So I'm like, I got a kid in the house. I'm gonna call animal control. So I call animal control. Um, by the way, I realize that animal control should be like an eight 11 number, like a three 11 or one 11. Speaker 1 01:07:08 It should be some type of number <laugh> that I can reach. But I have to like Google this fucking number to get animal control. And the gymnastics, you have to fucking pull to get somebody. You have like, like, uh, I think number one is them telling you what animal control is. Like number two is if you're having an emergency to be directed to like the fire department or 9 1 1, and then you have to like press that. You wanna speak to somebody, then the operator, and then a fucking recording comes on being a tech attacked by an animal, press six. And that's the trick because the recording comes on and we're like, yo, uh, it's like this is the animal control control line. If you're having those, please press one. Or you go back to the other menu, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, what the fuck is this another recording? Speaker 1 01:07:55 And I didn't immediately hang up. The guy stopped talking. Then the phone starts to ring and I'm like, Ooh, that's a nasty little trick. <laugh> <laugh>. Oh, oh, think I was gonna be. So it finally starts to ring and somebody picks up and I'm like, Hey, um, uh, my name's OB and I'm in South Los Angeles and they're, I think there's a rabbit dog running down the street. I don't know. It's been hanging around. I'm not sure what to do. Uh, and she's like, um, is it your dog? And I'm like, bitch, no, it's not my dog. <laugh>. No I'm not. But I understand there's stupid people out there. Mm-hmm. <affirmative>. So I'm like, no, it's not my dog. Like I have a kid in the house as things running around. I'm trying to look at a mouse. I'm not sure if it's foaming. I just, I'm not trying to get bit. Speaker 1 01:08:34 She's like, okay, well, uh, we can't really help you at the moment. You need to call 9 1 1 <laugh>. And I'm like, well, aren't you supposed control animals are under control, right? Yeah. You're supposed to be controlling animals. Like, I'm like, wait, uh, I'm like, aren't you guys supposed to like come and catch dogs? They're like, well, she's like, well there's overcrowding at the pounds. I'm like, first of all, I don't need your opinions. I need you to help me. <laugh> <laugh> about, like, I'll judge if the pounds are overcrowded. All right. I'll go down there and take a look around and see like, eh, you can make that another gate. You can get rid of that cute dog. You can get rid of that ugly ass dog B. Done, done, done. There's the room making cuts left and right. Just making cuts. But like 42 million. Speaker 1 01:09:14 Like okay, give 'em more money. And I'm telling you guys right now, Los Angeles has a problem. There are packs of dogs running everywhere. You think Coyote got bloods on my street? You think Bloods are coyotes off Crenshaw? There's fucking coyotes on Crenshaw. Fuck the Bloods and the Crips <laugh>. There's coyotes on Crenshaw. <laugh>. Like there's fucking cats everywhere. Like listen, sitting in my house, like you live here so you can just, you couldn't hear. Mm-hmm <affirmative> fucking, first of all, it took me, I was like, what? Yesterday years old when I realized that cats are nocturnal. Like I did not know that. I thought these funny videos of cats running around people's house at night, cuz they're di assholes, but no cats sleep during the day. Mm-hmm. <affirmative> they fuck around at night. I had no idea. They're fucking little lions running around my fucking neighborhood. Speaker 1 01:09:56 And like, uh, when we were cleaning out our studio, I have no idea how long it was in here. I opened the garage, this fucking cat runs out and I'm like, this poor motherfucker must have been in here for days. <laugh>, like drinking, drinking Spicy Mountain Dew. Yeah. Just spicy. Yeah. We still got the Dew <laugh>. We still got the Dew <laugh>. So I saw somebody drinking at my party a couple days ago. Oh. Oh. I was like, I'm like, sir, uh, I don't know who invited you, but you need to leave <laugh>. You give him the fucking uh, poison control. You don't pass all my Kirkland whiskey and all them fucking white claws and the mades and fucking actual Sprite <laugh> to reach for the fucking code blue of Mountain Dew <laugh> that motherfucker's a psychopath and is no, he's no longer welcome at my house. Speaker 1 01:10:36 He a list. Now he's on a list that the sodas in my refrigerator are for profiling purposes. Oh, <laugh>. It's a trap. Anyway, I digress. I'm gonna, I'm gonna go ahead and give them the benefit of the doubt. See what they do with this 44 mill. I know they need some more jobs. They need more people working there. Cause I literally think it's just that woman that answers the phone to tell you to call the police. It's the recording of like, it's just the, it's just the dogs and me. Call 9 1 1 <laugh> <laugh>. Nothing about the dogs baby man. Oh, that was amazing. <laugh>. Anyway guys, that's the end of our pod. My name is Obie. I'm here with Bennett Miller. Beanie man. Uh, blame Pierre. Does our, uh, <laugh> fucked that up. <laugh>, I fucked our producer that's got the landing. Oh, Blaine Pierre, our producer, big shout out to him. D n a does our mu music and so does Aaron Mosell, thank you so much y'all. This papa don't preach. Will be back next week later.